Hold Me Close
by GroovyExcel
Summary: Edward's life at home was not what a child should have. Only Bella knows what he really goes through. What will happen when Edward makes a huge mistake when he tries to defend himself? Will the family he chose be enough? OOC a bit AH, Normal pairings
1. Prolouge

**A/N: HI!! So this is my first ever Fanfic. I was here mostly as a reader... but I finally decided to try my hand at writing a story of my own. The topic may be a little overdone... but I promise that there will be some unexpected surprises. Please review and let me know what you think... and please be nice... **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twlight or any of it's amazing characters. I wish I did... but that means nothing.**

Hold Me Close

12 years ago

It was a normal day for poor little Edward. He had to walk himself to daycare again because his mom didn't feel like bothering with him. At least it wasn't raining today. He pushed the heavy doors open as hard as his little four year body would allow, and made his way into sanctuary.

"Hey there, Edward. Did Mommy drop you off at the corner again?" Asked one of daycare attendants.

"Yes ma'am." He lied politely.

"You are just the sweetest boy ever, honey." She smiled brightly at him and lovingly ruffled his already sloppy hair. He smiled back. He wasn't used to being told that he was sweet… nor was ever called honey at home.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

"So polite. How many times have I told you to call me Esme?" She knelt down to be eye level with him.

"A lot a times…" he paused, "Can I call you Mommy Esme?" He asked hopefully. She smiled sweetly at him and held back tears.

"You know, Edward. I would like that very much. I don't have any babies of my own. But I'm not sure if you're mommy would like that."

"I don't think she would care very much. Please can I call you Mommy Esme? I could be your baby!" He said as he hugged her. She hugged him back.

"Okay, honey. You can call me Mommy Esme."

"YAY!" He jumped up and down happily. She giggled at how adorable his joy was.

"You know, Edward… someone knew came in today. Her name is Bella and she seems really shy."

"Oh! Can she be my new sister?" Edward asked, his bright green eyes sparkling.

"Sure, honey. Now let's go inside so you can meet her. And your other friends are here too." She took Edward's hand and led him inside the overly small classroom. Edward looked up at his Mommy Esme and smiled. He loved his new Mommy Esme more than his own mommy. Mommy Esme was sweet and kind. She loved him, he knew she did. She would never make him walk to daycare alone. He knew too much for an average four year old, but that was because he was forced to learn things the hard way. His mommy hated him… and she was sure to remind him of it everyday. He didn't know a real mother's love but knew that now in some fashion, however indirect, he would get it. But he never told anyone about all the mean things his mom did to him. They would take her away, and even though she hated him, he loved her. He had too. It was Mommy…

But Edward's real family was at the daycare. He sat over by Alice, who had to be the smallest four-year-old in existence. She was tiny and had more energy than her itsy bitsy body seemed able to hold.

"HI EDWARD!!" She bounced in her seat.

"Hi Alice. Mommy Esme told me about the new girl. Where is she? She's supposed to be my new sister."

"Mommy Esme? I want Esme to be my Mommy too!" Alice squealed happily. That made Edward mad. Alice's mommy loved her very much. Why should Alice have two mommies that loved her? But he didn't say anything.

"Well then ask her. She says that she doesn't have any babies."

"Who doesn't have babies?" Came another voice. It was Emmett's, the largest four-year-old in existence. No one believed he was four, but he was and was ridiculously intelligent and just as silly.

"Mommy Esme. So she said I could be her baby." Edward said possessively.

"Okay," Emmett shrugged, "Hey! Rosie is talking to the new girl. Wanna go meet her? She's really nice and she brought a cake to share with us!"

"YAY!! CAKE!! I like her already! She's my new bestest friend!" Alice chirped.

"That's what Rosie said." The three went over to meet with the new girl where Rosie and her twin brother, Jasper, were already talking to her.

"WOW!! Your daddy is a cop?? Does he have a gun?" Jasper was saying as they came up.

"Uh huh… but he doesn't let me see it." Bella was quite the adorable pre-schooler. She has big brown puppy eyes that had that constant pleading look and her hair was done up in two pony tails tied with pompom like scrunchies… perfect first day of daycare attire. She was shy, but liked meeting so many new friends. Edward got to the front of the group.

"HI!" He greeted cheerfully. Bella looked up at him.

"Hi, I'm Bella." She greeted shyly.

"Bella's daddy is a cop!" Jasper said excitedly.

"WOW!! My name is Emmett."

"My name is Alice and I'm going to be your OTHER bestest friend!" Alice jumped up and hugged her.

"I'm really lucky. I've never had two bestest friends before." Bella giggled.

"Alice can see the footure! She told me that you were coming before you even came. She was the one I was telling you about," Rosie said. Bella nodded.

"And I'm Edward, your new brother!" Edward hugged her.

"I like it here! I get a buncha friends, two bestest ones, and a brother!" She clapped her hands and jumped up and down. Edward smiled and grabbed her hand.

"Come on sister. Let's go play over here."

"We wanna play too!" Emmett said as the whole group followed them. Edward smiled happily. This was why he never minded having to walk through the rain alone to daycare. He was loved here. He had family and now he had a loving mommy and a new sister.

Esme watched as her "kids" played together. She did love all the children, but Edward and his friends were her favorite. And she loved to see how easily the new girl, Bella, fit in with the group. She hoped this was the start of something beautiful.

That was 12 years ago.

**A/N: So that's just the prolouge. I hope it's okay. I've haven't been a four year old in a long time so... **

**Go ahead...is it good? Does it suck? Should I even bother? What's really good people?**


	2. Nothing New

**A/N: I'm so happy!! I got reviews, and story alerts... someone already put me on a favorite authors list!! Thank you you guys so much!! You all rock so flipping hard!! YAY!!**

**So this is 12 years later from the prolouge. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the awesomeness that it the universe of Twilight... i would love to... but Stephenie Meyer and I aren't cool like that...**

Nothing New

EPOV

"I think you should stay home today." Said the voice on the phone.

"No… I mean, you're already half way here. I should have called you earlier."

"Edward, don't be silly. You didn't know you'd wake up sick. Now you keep your ass in that bed all day. I'll be by after school."

"But, Bella…" I pleaded.

"I know… I know. She's at home today. Today's my short day. If you go to sleep now… I'll be there before you wake up and I'll take you to my place."

"I… I don't wanna stay here with her." I coughed loudly.

"But you can't be outside. You probably have a fever. Does she know you're still there?"

"Yeah… but you're right. I can't get out of bed like this. Please hurry back?"

"I will, I promise. Do you want me to run back to my place and get the seizure pillow for you until I get back?" She giggled.

"Haha. No. The sooner you get to school… the sooner you can come get me outta this hellhole."

"All right. I'll be there soon. Now get some rest okay?"

"I'll try."

"Bye."

"Bye." I snapped my phone shut and leaned back against the bed. I let out a big sigh. I didn't want to stay there. She was here… the woman that birthed me… Mom is what she demanded to be called. Most kids go to their moms for attention when they're sick. Most kids felt safe and loved when their mom was home. Most kids thought their mom was beautiful. I thought my mom was the spawn of Satan.

Instead of calling mom… I called Bella. Bella and I had been inseparable since the day we met. Though everyone insisted there should be something romantic between us, I never saw her that way. And I felt like a worthless brat pleading with her the way I did. But she's the only one that knew my situation. My other friends just thought my mom was a bit on the bitchy side. But Bella knew better. Though I never intended her to find out, she walked in one morning just in time to witness one of my mom's more umm… well there's no way to sugar coat it. She was beating the life out of me. I begged her not to tell. She hates that I won't tell anyone. But she understands why, or least she pretends too.

My whole room had a Bella-like air to it. It smelled like strawberries, the scent of Bella's favorite shampoo. And it smelled like freesias, Bella's favorite flowers. That was definitely not the way a teenage boy's room should smell. But her room smelled like me, so I figured we were even. My walls were a deep blue color, with a brown accent wall. Bella's favorite color and the color of her eyes. (Her room was emerald green, the color of my eyes.) She picked it out because it would contrast nicely with the bronze color of my hair. I had no clue that bronze and blue went together, or that wall color and hair color had anything to do with each other. But then again, Bella was quite the odd one. I didn't care that she couldn't walk on a flat surface without finding something to trip on. I didn't care that she loved 90's boyband music and that she didn't like my taste in body spray. She called AXE body spray cheap! That stuff was nearly four dollars a can!) I didn't care that most people didn't seem to like her. She was one of the few things I had, and I was glad to have her. I was smiling slightly at the random memories, until my bedroom door flew open. I groaned internally.

"What the HELL are you still doing here?" My mother yelled.

"I'm sick, mother. I can't go to school if I'm sick." I said, no emotion or inflection in my voice.

"Like hell you're sick! Finally realized that you're a fucking moron and that you're gonna flunk out of school? Finally gave up, did you?" She said with a satisfied smile on her face.

"No," I said through my teeth, "I do wonderfully at school. I am ill."

"Liar! You're a fucking retard and you know it!" She yelled back at me.

"I am not! I'm fucking sick! I have a fucking fever!" I sat up and yelled right back. She gasped and back handed me across the face. It hurt more than I expected… ah… she was wearing her rings.

"Don't you curse at me, you piece of shit! Why couldn't you be like your sister? She respected me!"

"You don't deserve anything from me! Much less my respect! What the hell is wrong with you anyway? I don't even remember Sarah! I was two when she died!" I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth. I knew better than to talk about Sarah. My mother stared at me; her eyes were wide with shock and her body shook with fury. I swore I could see her horns and tail growing.

"You fucking piece of shit!" She shrieked. She began to mercilessly beat me as hard her body would allow. It hurt like six shades of hell. I swore she worked out extra hard just so she could have the strength to beat me. She never used anything more than her body to hit me with, thank God. But I never cried. I just whimpered. I would not give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry. It was too damn early in the morning for this. "How dare you talk about your sister like that? She was worth more than you ever will be, you worthless bastard!" She stopped hitting me and started to catch her breath. My eyes were swimming in unshed tears.

"Why do you hate me?" My voice cracked, "What did I ever do to you?"

"You were fucking born! The only reason you're still alive is because you don't have the balls to kill yourself. You piece of shit." She yelled as she back handed me once more. I coughed violently. I turned to look at her and silently begged my tears to stay where they were.

"You know what? FUCK YOU, okay! I don't need you to love me!"

"That's right. You have that stupid whore friend of yours to love you. And all of those other little mother fuckers too." She said pleasantly. I flinched and now I started to shake with fury.

"Don't fucking talk about Bella that way! Or any of my friends! Yeah they love me! So fucking what?"

"Well," she said matter-of-factly, "Anyone who could possibly love you is fucking stupid. You're a waste of air. And as for _Bella_, she's just a little fucking slut."

"Leave her outta this! I don't know why she gives a fucking shit about me anyway… and you know what, you pathetic excuse for a mother? I don't care! Go to hell!" I jumped out of bed and started to pack up some things in my school bag. The last thing I grabbed was my cell phone and I made my way out of my room.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Since when do you give a shit?" I pushed my way past my mother and left my house totally barefoot and wearing just a wife beater and a pair of basketball shorts. I ran down the block toward Bella's house.

I couldn't stand to be there another minute. I couldn't be in that house where my mother hung my sister's memory like a sword over my head. Beautiful fair-haired Sarah… she was 14 when she died. No one ever told me what she died from. I knew nothing about her other than she was blond, beautiful, and apparently better than me in every way, shape and form. Oh yeah… and the fact the she's dead. I had no memories of her, but my mother made damn sure that I would never forget her. But I hated Sarah. I hated this dead sister I didn't know. Because of Sarah, my mother hated me. So because I couldn't find it in my heart to hate my mother, I would hate Sarah in her place.

I made it to Bella's house and sat in front of her front door. I picked up my phone and pushed the send button twice. It went straight to voicemail. Of course, goody goody Bella had her phone off.

"Bella, don't go pick me up. I'm already at your house. Please hurry back." I snapped my phone shut and leaned my head against the door. Then I chuckled slightly. So I'm alive because I don't the balls to kill myself… oh how I wish I did. Then we could both be happy, mom.

Some minutes later, Debussy's Claire de Lune started to play and I quickly picked up my phone.

"Bella…" I began.

"I'm so sorry… I should've just not gone to class today! I'll be there in a few minutes!" She sobbed into the phone. I couldn't believe that she was blaming herself for all of this… again!

"Don't be sorry." _I'm the worthless bastard that needs to die, not you_. I thought. "Are you close by?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm gonna stop by the store and pick a few things to nurse you with. Use the ladder and climb in through my window; it's unlocked."

"Okay. I'll see you soon." I hung up and did as she said. As I waited on her bed I thought, No… it's not that I don't have the balls to kill myself. I couldn't do that to Bella. If I live at all, it's for her… Though it sounded more like I was trying to convince myself of that. I searched around the bed and found was I was looking for. It was the fluffy lime green pillow that had electric blue beads and canary yellow fringe. I called it the seizure pillow. I always told Bella that I would steal this from her one day. I love this damn thing. I embraced the seizure pillow and as I heard Bella's loud set of key chains at the front door, I smiled and finally let my tears run free.

BPOV

I was glad I finally talked Edward into staying home today. But I knew didn't want to… I wouldn't want to either. His mother is just an evil woman. I often wondered why he didn't tell someone about her. I mean, my dad was chief of police anyway…. And my parents loved Edward. Or why didn't he move in with Esme and Carlisle? They loved him like their own.

I got to school and was attacked with a pixie hug.

"Bella!" Alice cheered happily. She went immediately to my left side (Edward always walked on my left side) and stopped and tilted her head to one side when she saw no one there. "And Edward is not here because?" I swear Alice knew what was going on with Edward. She knew everything.

"He woke up with a fever and I told him to stay home." I said sadly. Though Edward did need to stay home, it felt weird to have a big space on my left side. Alice sighed and took my hand and led to me where the others were, who had a similar reaction to Edward-less me.

"Well let's hope he get better. We all know how bitchy his mom is." Rosalie said.

"I know! I can't that someone can be bitchier than Rose Lily Hale!" Emmett said. He got smacked upside the head for that.

"Don't call me that anymore!" She scolded him playfully.

"Hey, you were the one that decided that was your new name." Jasper said. it's true. Back when we were kids, Rosalie discovered that both her first and middle names were flowers if you shortened. So for about 3 years, she was known as Rose Lily. And Emmett, being Emmett had to bring it up… all the time!

"Yeah… when we were 7!" We all laughed.

"So… before class starts we need to go on to business. How is everyone's Home Free Fund doing?" Alice chimed. The Home Free Fund was something we came up when we were 9 years old. We decided that one day we all wanted to buy a big house and live together. We've been saving money for it since then. Alice put herself in charge of it. It was a sacred fund that we were not allowed to use any of…. Except for EXTREME emergencies. And there hasn't been one yet.

"We're doing good!" Jasper said happily, "We just got to 5k."

"I've got 2k and change." Em said proudly.

"I've got about the same as Emmett." Alice said. They looked at me.

"Well I've got close to 2k and Edward has about 3k." I said.

Alice clapped her hands and bounced in place.

"Wow! That gives us close roughly 15k! Oh my lanta, you guys! This is great!" We were so happy with our progress. We really wanted to move in with each other… and I could wait to get Edward out of his mother's house.

The bell rang and we ran inside. The day was promising to be a quiet day. It was my short day and I would be outta here by 12:45. But at about 10:30 I started to feel restless. I asked to be excused and checked my messages. There was one from Edward.

_"Bella, don't go pick me up. I'm already at your house. Please hurry back." _I could hear that he was holding back tears. How could I be so stupid! I should have taken him to my house this morning! Who knows what she did to him this time! Oh no!! I scrambled to call him back.

"Bella…" he started, but I cut him off.

"I'm so sorry… I should've just not gone to class today! I'll be there in a few minutes!" I sobbed into the phone. I couldn't believe that I let this happen to him… again!

"Don't be sorry. Are you close by?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm gonna stop by the store and pick a few things to nurse you with. Use the ladder and climb in through my window; it's unlocked."

"Okay. I'll see you soon." He hung up. I sent a mass text to the others that I was ditching school to go nurse Edward. _Hey guys… I'm skipping out the rest of the day. Edward's fever has gotten worse and he needs me. I'll see you guys later. _I hit send. Not two minutes later did I get a message from Alice. _Bells, something is up and I know it. Hurry the hell up and get to him. But I'm getting to the bottom of this. _

I didn't respond to her message. I knew Alice knew. I snuck out of the school's back way and ran towards the nearest store. I got a cart and attacked the aisles. I got a bunch of Edward's favorite things, and some medicines and a thermometer, and made my way to the line. I paid, and ran outta the store like an expecting father. I got to the door and opened it quickly, dropped the bags in the kitchen and raced up the stairs. I opened my bedroom door and exhaled heavily when I saw Edward in my bed.

"Oh Edward…" I said as I went to him. I sat by the edge of bed and stroked his hair, "I'm so sorry. I should have just brought you here this morning." I continued to stroke his hair. He sighed happily and I wiped the tears from his face. He was clutching on to the seizure like a baby to a teddy bear. He felt ashamed and I knew it… but I didn't care. He opened his mouth to talk but started coughing, "Wait here." I ran back downstairs and came back with the thermometer. I stuck it his mouth. He rolled his eyes at me. "None of that now mister. You are burning up and I need to see how high it is. I may have to call Carlisle to come check you out." He opened his eyes wide and shook his head rapidly.

"No, Bella. Please don't call anyone!" he pleaded with me.

"SHHH! Don't talk!" he stayed silent but begged me with his big green eyes. The thermometer started to beep and I pulled it out of his mouth, "102. Fine I won't call anyone. But Edward, why…"

"We're not talking about this again! No. I won't and you can't make me!" he sat up and said to me.

"Fine. I'll go downstairs and make you some soup and then you can take some medicine." I said coldly.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Bella. But you know…"

"I know," I had already warmed up. It was hard to stay mad at him, "I know… but I wish you would." I pushed him so that he would be lying down. I started to stroke his hair.

"Don't do that. You know it makes me sleepy." He teased.

"That's the point. Rest okay? I'll take care of you." I continued to play with his hair and it wasn't before long that he fell asleep. I smiled. Then got up to go make him soup. I giggled as I watched him tighten his grip on the seizure pillow. Oh Edward…

**A/N: So here's an extra long chapter! In all seriousness... most chapters will be pretty long. I hope that's okay. But thanks again for all the encouragement!! I'm posting the chapters up as soon as I write them. I promise to update frequently. I made a special promise to JaimeCullen. I heart you all!**


	3. Suspicions

**A/N: I'm glad people are liking the story so far. That makes me very happy. **

**But here we go... now this is an important chapter. lots and lots of foreshadowing going on here. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I would LOVE to own Twilight, but alas... I do not.**

Suspicions

APOV

My phone vibrated three times in my pocket and I already knew it was from Bella. And I knew it was news about Edward. _Hey guys… I'm skipping out the rest of the day. Edward's fever has gotten worse and he needs me. I'll see you guys later. _I quickly sent her back, _Bells, something is up and I know it. Hurry the hell up and get to him. But I'm getting to the bottom of this. _She didn't respond. I sat in class going over our lives since we were four. I always had another…sense I guess you could call it. I always just knew things. Rose says I'm psychic. Well maybe I am… but I knew something was wrong with Edward. Something bad… I was going to find out what it was. I waited out the rest of the day.

As the last bell rang, I ran down the hall and bumped into Esme.

"Well, Alice, you seem to be in a hurry," she said as she hugged me.

"I am. Edward's really sick and wasn't in class today. Bella cut out to go take care of him." I didn't feel bad telling Esme that Bella skipped. Esme wasn't a teacher. She was Esme. Plain and simple.

"Oh no! Poor Edward! Maybe I'll go by and see him later today." She said sincerely. She loved Edward like her own son. I smiled at her.

"He would like that very much!" I squealed happily and hugged her back. "But I'm off. I've got to meet the others. See you later!!" I skipped off. The others were waiting for me at out regular meeting spot: Jasper's locker. Why Jasper's locker? Nobody knows…

"Hi guys!"  
"Bump into Esme, did you?" Jasper said. He was always in tune with my moods…sigh.

"Yup! Did you guys get that message from Bella?" I asked getting straight to the point.

"Of course we did…" Jasper replied dubiously. Again… catching on to my mood. Oh Jasper…

"Guys… I have a suspicion."

EmPOV

Uh-oh. Stop everything! Alice had a suspicion. When that pixie suspected something, it was usually bad. We all stiffened up… waiting for it.

"Well?" I finally said, unable to take it anymore, "What is it? Spit it out already!"

"Something's not right with Edward. He's more than just sick… ad something's been wrong with him for a long time. I mean… think about it. We've never been to his house. We've met his mom once, and that was enough time to realize what a die hard bitch she is. He's usually at Bella's or at Esme and Carlisle's. He is definitely hiding something from us…something bad. I think he needs our help." She stared us down.

"Alice," I started, "If Edward has issues, we'd know about it by now. We all know each other like that back of our hands." Okay… so maybe I lied a little bit. Nobody knew I had a me sized crush on Rosalie… and that's a big crush. I'm flipping huge. But fundamentally… the rest was true.

"Em's right," Rose said, "Edward wouldn't hide stuff from us."

"I don't bet against Alice. When has she ever been wrong?" Jasper said.

He's right about that. Alice has NEVER been wrong.

"All right then. Let's not be like a bunch of little girls and stand around here talking about it. I say let's run some recon. Let's figure out what the hell is going on. What else you got to go, Pixie?" If Alice was right, then Edward was in shit deep. We needed info and quick.

"Let's walk and talk." Alice said.

"Walk toward where, now?" Rose asked. That's my Rose…

"Towards Bella's house. So we can check up on Edward." As we walked to Bella's, Alice informed us of all the evidence she's been storing over the years… but none of it added up to anything… at least in my head anyway. There had to something we were missing… something weren't seeing.

JPOV

Alice suspected something was very wrong with Edward. Though I could tell that she thought we needed to do something about it quick. She was very worried, scared even. But Alice was never one to show fear. So that fact that she was scared was freaking me out. She broke down her suspicions, and I felt that I needed to speak up.

"You seem scared about this, Alice." She looked at me with her wide hazel eyes.

"I guess I am," she said hesitantly, "I mean… I think this is really serious… like life and death serious. Someone may get really hurt if we don't act soon." The apprehension and fear that she was feeling shook me down to my core. I don't know what it was about Alice… but we were always on the same wavelength. Rose gasped.

"Oh my God. Then let's act fast. Let's get Edward to tell us what he's hiding and get this out of the way."

"It won't be that simple, Rose." Alice said. "It's a whole lifetime of hiding if I'm right." I mulled that over. Edward was hiding a lifetime of secrets? I couldn't believe that… but I could never bet against Alice. I can't ever remember a time that was wrong. She was right about when Esme and Carlisle met. She said they would get married soon. And they were married within two months of meeting each other. What about Edward didn't we know? Edward never seemed to really be hiding anything… But if Alice was right, if this was life and death, who was in trouble? Was it really Edward himself? Or somebody else?

RPOV

What Alice was saying was truly scaring the hell outta me. Was somebody going to die? Was it going to happen soon? I always knew Alice was kinda psychic! But she had so little to go on. Her main points were about how little we really knew about Edward at home. But he was barely ever there. He spent 50 of his time at Bella's house, and 45 divided between Alice's, Emmett's Jasper's and me, and Esme and Carlisle's. The last 5 percent was really the only time he spent at home. His mom was a major bitch and kinda flighty I think. She was the kind of mom kids think they wish they had. She's the kind that always left you alone, never bothered you, didn't care where you went or when you came back and that never worried about you. We met her only one time… and she flat out said that she didn't like us. Edward says that she doesn't like anyone.

Now, normal friends would say that if Edward had issues at home, that it should stay between him and his mom. But I was no normal friend. If there was any hint that ANY of my friends were in any kind of trouble… I would move mountains to help them out. But now was not the time. Edward was sick and the first priority was to get him better. Then we could worry about all this.

"Let's talk about all this after Edward gets better." I said as we got on Bella's block.

Everyone agreed with me.

We all had keys to each other's houses… except Edward's… Maybe I'll bring that up later. Since Emmett was walking slightly ahead of us, he opened the door with his key. Bella's parents weren't home yet and we saw her sitting on the couch watching TV. Edward must be sleeping in her room.

Alice skipped over to her and gave her a big hug. We all followed suit. Alice sat on her right side and Jasper hesitantly sat on her left side. Bella's left side was Edward's side. Em and I sat on the couch across from her.

"How is he?" I asked.

"The fever is stuck at 102. I've been trying to get it down for hours, but it won't budge. And he doesn't wanna go to the hospital or see any doctors. Not even Carlisle. I'm worried. What if something is really wrong?" Bella looked really upset. Jasper placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Then we'll have to force him." He said.

"We know what's better for him more than he does," Em said with a smile. "Carlisle would come running if you told him Edward was that sick. Want me to knock some sense into him?" Em raised his very large fist in the air.

"NO!! No Emmett. Just let him be," I said easing his fist back down, "But maybe we should call Carlisle… have him check Edward out real quick." I suggested. Bella seemed apprehensive about that.

"Edward said that he didn't want…" she started.

"Bella, Edward could be really sick. What if something is really wrong with him? If you don't call Carlisle, I will." Alice said sternly.

BPOV

I knew it! Alice knows something, and she's told the others. Oh no! Oh no no no no!

But wait… if everyone else found out… it would mean that Edward could get away from his mom… it would mean that Edward could be safe for once in his life…

But he made me promise to keep his secret… and I would never break a promise to Edward… What do I do? I was about to say something to Alice when I Edward walked right into the living room.

EPOV

I had heard when everyone got there. Emmett's pretty loud. And I heard them telling Bella to take me to a doctor, or to call Carlisle. I couldn't have that. But Bella was trying so hard to get my fever to go down… and I could tell that calling Carlisle sounded like the best idea in the world to her. But Carlisle would know in half a heartbeat if he saw me like this. I had to do something. I was feeling a lot better so I went downstairs and into the living room.

"Hey guys," I said.

"EDWARD!!" Alice flung herself off the couch a came at me with a flying tackle hug and knocked us both over. Typical Alice.

"Oh I'm sorry," she giggled. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel better thanks to the wonderful skills of Nurse Bella and, of course, your superb hugging techniques." I laughed with her. She got off me and pulled me up. She was damn strong for someone so small. Jasper got up and sat on the other couch next to Rosalie so I could sit next to Bella.

"He's fine!" Emmett laughed. "If he survived an Alice flying tackle hug, he's gotta be fine." Everyone laughed when Alice stuck her tongue out at him.

"Are you okay?" Bella said putting her hand on my forehead, "You don't feel as warm."

"I feel a lot better." I said. And it was the truth.

"Wait here," she said and ran off. Alice looked over and stared at me. It was quite unnerving.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" She asked with her eyes narrowed at me. Why did Alice have to be so observant? She knew something more was wrong with me. I had to end these suspicions now. In a couple of years we'd all be moving out anyway. I could endure that much longer. Though Alice usually stuck to her suspicions, I would make sure I kill this one.

"Yeah. What else could be wrong with me? I feel fine now." I said confidently. That seemed to throw her a bit. Aha! Her suspicions weren't that well developed… she just had a feeling… but I've made her doubt. Good job Edward.

"I don't know… But if there was anything wrong… you'd tell us right?" She said, her eyes still narrowed at me.

"If there was anything to tell… that only that could go wrong now is if Bella came back and stuck that damn thermometer in my…" and at that exact moment Bella came back and stuck that damn thermometer in my mouth. Perfect timing. I rolled my eyes at her, and Jazz had this big dumb grin on his face… but Emmett was not one to hold back laughter. He was pointing at laughing at me. Even Alice seemed to have forgotten her little suspicions. She, along with Rose and Bella were giggling at me. I smiled. Good. Bella took the thermometer out of my mouth and jumped and down when she saw the number.

"YAY! It says 99! Now go upstairs and take a bath and change into something clean!" The others were just as happy as she was and that just made me happier. Mom wouldn't have cared if my temperature was 99 or 199. This is why I was so attached to my friends. They loved me. I smiled at went upstairs. I saw one missed call of my cell phone and one voice message. I rolled my eyes when I saw the missed call was from Mom. She usually didn't care at all where I was. I listened to the voice message.

"_Listen to me you fucking brat! I don't care if you're sick or whatever the hell is wrong with you! You get back to this house and apologize for walking out on me!" _I sighed. Oh what was waiting for me back at her house…

**A/N: Another long one... but as I have said... most chapters will be quite long. So we got a little taste of everybody in this one. sorry if it's a bit confusing. I promise that it won't happen much anymore. But everyone needed to put in their 2 cents about what's really going on with Edward. Lots of drama will ensue. The rest of the chapters will be alot simpler and flow alot better than this one.**

**Also... UPDATES!! I will update this story every weekend. You'll get 2 chapters per weekend. Possibly three. DO YOU JUST LOVE ME?? hehehe. Review you wonderful people!!**


	4. Questions

**A/N: I want to thank you all who were so patient me with me! As you can tell, Alphonse is up and running and here is your chapter 4! This chapter leads us into a part of the story I'm sure some of you have been waiting for. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I heart you guys!**

Questions

BPOV

Finally Edward's fever had gone down and that seemed to have diffused Alice's suspicions a bit. After I sent Edward upstairs to shower and change, Rosalie came over and sat in his spot. She put her hand on my shoulders and turned me to face her.

"Bella, you've known me for a long long time,"

Oh Lord.

"So you know how I am when it comes to you guys. And you know I don't like it when you guys lie to me."

Oh dear sweet Lord…

"Is there something Edward isn't telling us?" Rose fixed her violet eyes on me and stared me down. Rose couldn't tolerate being lied to. And I know how protective she is of us. What could I possibly say to her? Would she know if I lied? The others were looking at me waiting for me answer. But fate must be on my side today because someone started knocking on my front door.

"I'll get it!" I jumped off the couch and ran to the door.

"Hi, Bella honey!" Esme gave me a big hug and I couldn't be happier to see her. I hugged her back and then she made her way to the others. They all hugged her and then she sat down in between Alice and Rose much to my insistence.

"Alice told me that Edward was sick. I figured he would be here so I came by to see him." She smiled. We all loved Esme. It was impossible to be anything other than happy when she was around. I've never known anyone that can love so unconditionally like she could.

"He's upstairs right now showering. Let me go hurry him up." I dashed upstairs still feeling Rosalie's probing stare on my back.

EPOV

I decided to put my mother's message to the back of mind and not worry about her until I absolutely had to. I stepped into the shower and turned on just the hot water and let it assault me. I winced a bit as the scalding hot water hit my bruised and cut skin. But it felt good. And so few things ever feel good. I stood under the heated deluge for a long time and then I heard someone knocking at the door. I shut the water off and automatically missed the sensation.

"What?"

"I can feel the steam from here!" Bella giggled, "Hurry up in there. Esme is downstairs and wants to see you. And I laid out some clothes for you on my bed." I heard her walk off. So Esme was downstairs, the woman who should have been my mother. I used to call her Mommy Esme… but that stopped being cute as I got older. Though I know she wishes I still called her that. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went towards Bella's room. There were some clothes on her bed as Bella promised. I was just about to drop the towel but…

"Edward, let me have your…" I turned around reflexively and there was Bella in the doorway, stopped in her tracks. Her big brown eyes were opened wide and her face was about 8 shades of pink. I was frozen in my spot. My bruises, the cuts, she would see all of them. But I couldn't speak. I couldn't move.

BPOV

I was heading back downstairs when I realized I should take Edward's fever-ridden clothes and add them to the laundry. I turned around and ran into my room.

"Edward, let me have your…" but I couldn't finish my sentence. For there was Edward standing in the middle of my room wearing nothing but a towel around his waist… very low on his waist mind you. He was also dripping wet.

I stood there and felt my face get hot. He turned around and froze. It's not like I haven't seen Edward wet before. Esme and Carlisle had a big pool and went spent nearly every weekend of summer vacation in it. But, he always wore a wife-beater to cover the bruises and cuts from us. But now he was half naked… in a towel with nothing underneath…in my room.

My eyes looked him up and down against my will and then I came to his eyes. They were filled with fear. Then I looked closer and saw what was scaring him. So much of him was covered in bruises. And there were shallow gashes on his chest. Soon, instead of feeling shock I was feeling sorrow. I shook my head rapidly to gain control myself. I looked down before speaking to him.

"Um… Edward… let me have your dirty clothes so I can put them in the laundry." I nearly whispered. He thawed from his spot.

"They're still in your bathroom," he said just as quietly. I nodded and left my room closing the door behind me. I got his clothes and put them in the laundry room. I slid down to the floor and leaned against the washing machine and pulled my knees to my chest. I needed to sort out the sudden onslaught of thoughts that were going through my head.

So I saw Edward nearly naked. And damn what a nice sight it was! Edward was gorgeous. No he wasn't as chiseled as Emmett or as lean as Jasper… but he was a very happy medium. His muscles had perfect definition to them, and the fact the he was dripping wet in nothing but a towel… I had the strangest impulse to walk up to him and just run my fingers through his wet hair and explore his chest with my hands and then pull him close to me and lean against his hot, wet naked body and…

_Bella! What are you thinking?_ I thought to myself. I couldn't possibly think of Edward like that! Of course I couldn't deny that he was quite nice to look at… but to think of doing anything like that with him was just plain wrong! I could never want Edward that way… though it was getting harder and harder to believe every second I thought it. Have I just been lying to myself? Have I been in denial all this time? Did I want Edward like that? Did I like Edward like that?

EPOV

Bella ran off and closed the door. I slowly sat on her bed and put my head in my hands. Bella saw me. It was one thing that she knew… but now she saw me. She saw the physical aftermath of my mom's hatred toward me on my body.

But I wasn't ashamed. I was just scared. I never once believed that Bella or anyone would care for me less because of it no matter how much my mother said it to me. I didn't believe that I was damaged or anything like that. I was hated by the one person that should have loved me above everything else. That's bound to do something negative to anyone's self-esteem. But I was sure it would about 10 times harder for Bella to keep her promise and not tell anyone.

Though, it didn't look like she noticed at first. She seemed to be in shock… and she was blushing.

And, if I saw correctly, it looked like she was checking me out. Now, like any hot blooded male, being checked out is a great ego-booster. And any ego-booster for me is a welcome one. But it shouldn't have made me happy that she was checking me out and didn't seem to notice the hate marks on me. It shouldn't have made me happy that Bella was looking at me that way.

But it did. But why? Why would it make me happy that Bella looked at me like that? Did I want her to look at me that way? Why I was so thrilled that she could find me attractive? Sexy, possibly? I might… no. No. It couldn't be that. Could it? Have I been lying to myself? Did I have…feelings for Bella?

**A/N: So that was shorter than most of my chapters... but I couldn't drag this out. They'd never thought of each other that way until now.... And as promised... the next chapter will be immediately posted after this one. Thank you all again so much. Review please!!!**


	5. Slip

**A/N: Here's chapter 5! A very important chapter! The whole story is turning now... you know that part of the roller coaster before you off the big drop? The part that goes up REAL slow? Messing with your mind the whole way up? That's where Edward is now. And essentially where we are now. Have fun!**

Slip

BPOV

I got myself together and headed back downstairs to the others. I figured I'd deal with all those questions in my head later. The others were laughing and joking around with Esme when I got back.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"We were remembering the time that Emmett thought he was born to be an Olympic diver." Jasper said with a huge grin on his face. My face slowly began to match his. That was quite a memory. Back when we were kids, Emmett had a hard time finding his place in the world. Every so often he would decide that he was born to be something. When he decided he was an Olympic diver we were about 12. It was the summer and of course we were at Esme and Carlisle's pool. Thank God it was an indoor pool. Forks sucks in the summer…

_"Guys," Emmett said, "I've finally figured out my place in the world."_

_We all groaned. We've heard that before._

_"What is it this time, Em?" Edward asked_

"_I am an Olympic diver," he replied with all the sincerity in the world. We all started laughing. "Don't laugh! I'm serious!" We still laughed. "Fine then! I'll prove it to you." He started to climb the diving board. We stopped laughing when we realized he meant it._

"_No, Em!!! Don't jump!" Alice yelled._

"_Please come back down!" I yelled._

"_Emmett! Get down here now!" Rosalie yelled._

"_Em, come on, you're scaring us dude." Edward said._

"_No…let him." Jasper said smiling. We all turned to look at him. _

"_Are you out of your mind??" I said._

"_Totally." He replied smiling like a loon. We all turned back to Emmett. He was setting up for his dive and we were all flipping out. Jasper was grinning from ear to ear. Right before Emmett jumped he turned to us._

"_What the hell is wrong with you guys?? Were you really gonna let me jump? I thought you loved me!!!!" _

I laughed with the others as we remembered that day. Emmett chickened out at the last second and Jasper could tell. Carlisle had to go up there and bring him down. It was hilarious.

"Oh, Emmett… that was pretty damn funny." I said between giggles.

"Not as funny as when Jasper thought he could fly!" Emmett said laughing. We all started laughing harder as Edward came downstairs. And I kicked myself when I realized that I was mentally patting myself on the back for dressing him in a black t-shirt and dark jeans. He looked fine in dark colors… but I really shouldn't care about that.

"ESME!" Edward said joyfully and went to hug the woman he did truly love as his mother.

"Hi, Edward baby!" She hugged him back. "I'm so glad to see you're better."

"And I'm so glad you came to see me! How's Carlisle?"

"He's just fine. He misses you all. In fact, he misses you all so much that he wanted me to tell you, Rose and Jasper especially, that he wants to throw a birthday party. You two do know that you're birthday is coming up soon." She said sweetly.

"It's not for another three weeks," Rose and Jasper said.

"Oh I know. But he wants too."

"Tell him I say, YAY!!!" Rose said.

"Tell Carlisle that he rocks." Jasper said.

"I will."

EPOV

The others eventually left and Bella's parents came. Charlie and Renee asked me if I was spending the night but I politely told them that no, my mother was expecting me. Bella promised me that would leave the window open if I needed to escape in the middle of the night. I was glad for the offer, but seriously hoped that I wouldn't need to.

The day started off horribly and I was nearly certain that it would end that way. My days were like sandwiches. The bottom slice was bad. The middle was great and happy. And the top was just as bad if not worse than the bottom. But the middle part was thick and helped me deal with the top and bottom. I sometimes wondered though, how much longer I could put with it.

Anyone else would have lost it by now. Kill themselves, run away, kill someone else, drugs… what would it take to push me over the edge? Why did I put it with it all? Bella made me promise her that I would text her right before I went to bed… probably to be sure I made it to bed.

I thought too much when I was alone. It was like having voices in my head.

I made it to my mother's house and hesitated at the door. All the lights were off…I couldn't hear anything from inside. But she could be waiting behind the door to attack me as I went in. Well it was now or never. I unlocked the door and turned the knob as slowly as humanly possible. I was in… nothing. I took a deep silent breath and made my way inside, quietly closing the door behind me. Still nothing. Was she even here? Her car wasn't in the driveway. Maybe it was in the garage? Should I even go check? No… she might be waiting to ambush me there. This was no way to live.

I quietly made my way through the house. I looked around every corner and didn't touch anything. The house seemed empty. Thank God I didn't have to go up and old creaky steps to get to my room. Her house was a little one story thing, but with an attic. I've never been up there… never wanted to be. My room was on the other side of the kitchen.

The idiot that designed this house put the kitchen in the middle. So when I was at that kitchen, I was half way to my room. But me going into the kitchen was like a lone fish in the open ocean. There were a lot of objects that could hurt me in there. Though, my mother never used anything but her own body to hit me with, I never doubted that she would use something else.

I called upon my courage and ran through the kitchen like someone running from a blood thirsty vampire. I made it through in about 8 steps and was totally unscathed. Well damn. Maybe she wasn't here after all? Or was she in my room? My heart sped up in my chest and I silently begged it not to be so loud. She hated my room. She wouldn't be in there. I opened my door slowly and closed my eyes and braced myself for the impact… it never came. She wasn't there!!!!! She's not in the house!! I closed my door and locked it and threw myself in my bed happily. I even laughed from the joy. I got my phone and messaged Bella, "_She's not in the house! Good night!" _In about a minute I got, _"Good! See you tomorrow!" _

I read her message and rolled over in my bed. I fell asleep with no new bruises and Bella's scent. I don't think I'd ever slept that good in my whole life.

*********

I woke the next morning feeling absolutely terrified. Not because I thought my mother was waiting to kill me. But because I remember falling to sleep thinking about how my room smelled like Bella. It wasn't something I gave much thought to. It was a simple fact. Bella was in my room a lot and her scent lingered here. But I was relishing it. I was living her scent. I let it lull me and it made me feel. Like as if Bella was there with me…sleeping next to me. And that thought scared me. I didn't know how to classify it. But those thoughts were pushed out of my mind when I heard the front door opening.

Crap.

Well… no not crap. She would only hurt me if she saw me. She wouldn't go out of her way to beat me. She wouldn't go out of her way to do anything for me. So as long as I stayed quiet and out of sight, I'd be fine. She was muttering something as she came into the house. I tried to listen.

"My poor baby," she was saying.

I felt the anger build. I knew she didn't mean me. She was talking about Sarah. "

I lost you so soon…" there was a tenderness in her voice I very seldom heard and envy sat next to anger. She must not have thought I was here. She never talked about Sarah like that if she knew I was. The only time she mentioned Sarah was to remind how much better she was than me.

"My Sarah Elizabeth…" Elizabeth? So she had a middle name…. huh. "Only 17…"

HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE!!! 17????? She told me Sarah was 14 when she died. What the hell was that about? She started sobbing and I felt my heart break. Though she was evil and cruel, it hurt to hear her cry.

"The world was in your hands! But then you had to meet that man! And then that little bastard!"

Well that was more like it… but then she realized that she didn't check to see if I was here. I heard her stomp toward my room. I checked to make sure the door was locked and jumped into bed. I started to snore loudly. She banged on the door and my whole room shook.

"You in there? Answer me, punk." She yelled.

"Huh?" I said with mock sleepiness.

"Were you sleeping?" She said suspiciously.

"Yes."

"When did you get here?"

"I'm not sure. You weren't here."

"Fine. Are you gonna be here all day?"

"No. I'll be going out soon."

"I'm leaving til Monday. I don't wanna see your ass until I leave this house. Don't even answer. I'm sick of your voice." My chest filled with joy and held back the hysterical laughter that was building. A whole weekend with her gone was more than I could ever ask for!

She stormed off and I heard sounds of packing.

I smiled widely as I thought her gone. But the smile vanished as I turned her little monologue over in my mind. What was she talking about? Sarah Elizabeth? 17? Who was that man? Was that who killed her? Was she killed? I filled with questions about her, but with no way to get answers. I thought. No one talked to my mother. No one liked her and she felt the same about everybody else.

Well in all the old movies, all the answers were in the old abandoned attic… hmmm… could it be that easy?

Just then I heard,

"I'm leaving!" And then the door slammed. The house resonated with relief as if it too, could feel the heavy cloud of hatred leaving with her.

I thought about calling Bella and asking her to some search with me. But I realized that this was something I needed to do alone.

Who was this Sarah Elizabeth?? This sister I hated so much…who I knew even less about now?

**A/N: *insert dramatic music* Edward is inches away from finding the truth! Who is Sarah? What his mother hiding from him??? You won't have to wait long! I promise two more chapters tomorrow! Review please! I hope everyone had a happy Halloween!**


	6. Planning

**A/N: here's the next chapter. there is some foreshadowing in here. really really subtle. I wonder if anyone will pick it up. **

**and i realized i haven't been putting disclaimers up so.... Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight...**

Planning

APOV

I woke up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat, absolutely panicked. I didn't even know why. But I was sure something big was about to go down. Something serious. And it scared me silly because I didn't know what to do. I knew I would see the others today. Carlisle wanted to see us. Perhaps then I would piece it all together. I hugged my knees to my chest and willed the answers to come to me.

"Come on… what is this feeling?" I said out loud. I couldn't shake it. It was as if Fear itself had slept next to me last night. Soon I was trembling and I couldn't stop. Why was I so scared? Not even the normally relaxing pastel colors of my room could calm me down. Suddenly, my phone started to ring and I screamed at the suddenness of the sound. It was Jasper.

"Hi, Jasper." I said trying to keep my voice under control.

"What's wrong?" He asked automatically concerned.

"I'm so scared. I'm so afraid and I don't know why."

BPOV

I got up too early for a Saturday morning, but I was in a happy mood. Edward had made it to bed totally unharmed last night and it appeared that his mother wasn't even there either. I was going to go pick him up since he was only down the block and on the way to Esme and Carlisle's. Carlisle wanted to throw the twins their 17th birthday party. I happily got dressed and went downstairs to make breakfast for mom and dad. I also packed a little for Edward so he could on the way. I was humming some random melody as my dad came into the kitchen.

"You seem chipper this morning." He said.

"Good morning, Dad!" I skipped over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "Breakfast is almost ready." I went back to cooking. He chuckled.

"I take it that Edward is all better." He said. I blushed slightly. It was no secret in my house that my parents thought that Edward and I should get married and have several babies. And considering some of the thoughts I had been having since last night…

"Yes he is. We're all going to see Esme and Carlisle today. Want me to bring Edward by later?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Of course. You know this is an Edward-friendly zone." He laughed. I smiled. Just then my mom came in.

"What about Edward? Are Bella and he finally together?" She asked enthusiastically.

"No, Renee. But he's all better and that's got Bella in a pretty happy mood."

"Oh well that's not fair. Bella, when are you and that boy going together? I know you like him."

"Mom!" I said shocked. I had come to the realization last night that I did like Edward. But did it show on my face? Would he know when he saw me? "I don't like him that way," I lied, "Now both of stop being silly and eat your breakfast. I'll bring Edward by later." I kissed them both on the cheek and grabbed my purse on my way the door. I walked the short distance to Edward's mother's house and went around to his window. I never went in through the front door. His mother hated almost as much as she hated him. I knocked three times and the window flew open.

"Good morning, Bella!" Edward practically sang.

"Hi, Edward. You seem really happy this morning." I giggled.

"Oh I am. Care to guess why?" He said, his eyebrows moving up and down. He was definitely in a silly mood this morning.

"Um… your mother's not here?"

"That would correct. And she won't be back til Monday." He said cheerfully, leaning out of the window toward me. I could feel the blush start to rise in my face. I willed it away.

"That's wonderful! Let me in. I've got breakfast for you. You can eat it before we go. The others will probably be there before us. Rose was promised a lavish party. You'll know she'll be early."

"This is true. Well come on in then." He was still smiling from ear to ear when he went inside to let me in. I stepped through the window into his room. He flopped back into his bed and the smiling face was traded for a pensive one.

"What's got you suddenly so pensive?"

EPOV

I let Bella into my room and flopped back into my bed. My mother's words started to swirl around my head and I couldn't help but dwell on them.

"What's got you suddenly so pensive?" She asked as she came over to sit next to me. I remembered thinking last night that I didn't what to involve Bella in all this new Sarah stuff. But I couldn't help it. I had to tell someone.

"My mother let some stuff slip about Sarah last night." I looked up at Bella. Her eyes were wide.

"Wow, really? What did she say?"

"Well, she didn't know I could hear her. She didn't think to check if I was here or not." I told Bella all about what I had heard about Sarah. Well now, Sarah Elizabeth. "So what I thought I knew about her was a lie. I know nothing about her at all. She's probably not even blond." I said with a laugh. Bella started to run her fingers through my hair, like she always did when she knew I was frustrated.

"Oh, Edward. Is there anyway to find out her?" She asked.

"I've been thinking about it. But I don't wanna talk about it now. I wanna eat this breakfast you made for me and then go see Esme and Carlisle."

"Okay," she smiled. That's why Bella was so wonderful. She knew when to not probe me about something. I ate what she made me and of course it was good. I showered and changed while she waited for me. We left the house and made our way over to Esme and Carlisle's house. Their house was totally beautiful. It was a white three story house with a whole forest behind it and the whole back wall was replaced with glass. They had a room there for me. Esme had always wanted me to move in there with them. I had always wanted to. But I couldn't find it in my heart to leave my mother alone.

Of course, Bella was right. Everybody was there already. We walked in and were greeted with a shower of hugs.

"It's wonderful to see you kids again." Carlisle said. And was equally as wonderful to see him. Carlisle was a brilliant human being. He was he kind of man kids looked up and said, "I wanna be just like him when I grow up." He was like our collective father.

Rosalie ran right up to him and hugged him.

"Carlisle, do you know how great you are?"

"I was aware, but seem to have forgotten. Thank you for reminding me."

"So why throw us a party?" Jasper asked.

"Because I want to. I want to celebrate you two. And I want to throw all of you birthday parties this year. And yes, Bella. Yours too." Everyone knew that Bella hated parties and attention. But she knew that Carlisle would do it anyway. He loved to spoil us.

Rose and Jasper finally agreed on a costume party. They really were the worst twins ever. Though I noticed that Emmett and Alice were sneaking looks at each other when talk about presents came about. I just figured that they would fill Bella and me in later. We left the house as the sun started to set, and the house's back wall reflected the red-orange into the living room tinting everything with its glow. We went our separate ways, and agreed to hang out tomorrow.

BPOV

I was glad to see Carlisle, and I knew that it made Edward happy. But I knew we were going to talk about what he had heard about Sarah. There was some planning we needed to do. I wanted to help him. I was sure that finding out about Sarah would shed some light into his life. He would know why his mother hated him so much. We made it back to his house and went straight to his room.

"Edward, I…" he looked up at me and I couldn't finish. His bright green eyes were filled with fear and I felt my heart break.

"Bella, I want to know about her. I've hated her for so long, but I want to know about her. But I'm scared."

"I'll help you. I'll be right there with you."

"Thanks. I think I know where to start searching."

**A/N: Don't hate me. The next chapter will be what you're waiting for. This chapter was needed to connect to future ones. Review please!!**


	7. Sarah Elizabeth

**A/N: here it is. This was hard to write.**

**Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Sarah Elizabeth

EPOV

I pulled down the ladder the folded into the ceiling that led into the attic. I thought it was a pretty dumb idea, I mean, the only happened in movies. But I had no other idea where to start. I had Bella climb up before me, so I catch her if she fell. Which she almost did about three times. It was dark and dusty up there, but it seemed that my mother had been up here recently. There was a box of stuff that was removed from the stacks of boxes. It was marked S.E.M in elegant script. I felt my heart jump in my throat as I touched the box. Bella put her hand on my shoulder.

"Let's take this down."

"Okay," I whispered. I took the box downstairs. I took it to my room and emptied it dusty contents on my bed. There were pictures, books, dolls, and assortment of belongings. I picked up one of the pictures with shaking hands.

BPOV

Sarah Elizabeth was beautiful. And Edward was right, she wasn't blonde. She had the same strange bronze colored hair like Edward. In fact, he looked just like her. She seemed like a happy girl. There were diplomas and awards in her box. So apparently she was intelligent. There was sheet music in her box. So apparently she was musical. She seemed like a very well rounded person. But there was nothing about how she died on there. But I saw Edward's eyes fix on a book.

"Edward?"

"It's her diary. It's her diary, Bella. I… I…" he turned to look at me. His eyes were green flames. "I have to read it. All my answers are there. I know it," he looked at me, "I'm scared. I feel like my life is about to fall apart."

"I have glue." It was stupid, but it was the only thing I could think of to say. He chuckled and his hand slowly reached for Sarah's diary.

APOV

There it was again! What is going on?

EPOV

Sarah's diary entries weren't all in by date. Some entries had dates and others didn't. Some seemed important and others were just normal girlie entries. I read it through for clues about how she died.

_Dear Diary,_

_Mother is very against my going away for college. Though she is proud of me for graduating early, she won't let me have my choice for school and that is quite unfair. She really needs to start letting me live my own life and make my own decisions. I know she loves me and just wants to protect me, but she needs to let me grow up and walk down my own path. I've done everything according to her way. Well now it's time for Sarah's way. _

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm so happy! I some how convinced mother that I can take care of myself while in school. It has been a while since I've written and my life has been nothing short of wonderful. It is something straight out of a modern day fairy tale. I'm no longer the shy, demure Sarah my mother raised. Though it seems so wrong, I've fallen madly in love with my music professor. Professor Masen is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent and sensitive. Though there is an age difference between us, he is in love with me too. I haven't been able to tell Mother yet. She would never approve, but I know Edward would never hurt me…_

I slammed the book shut.

What? I was so confused. I looked at Bella and her face held a shocked amazement.

"Bella…."

"Let's keep reading, Edward."

_Dear Diary,_

_Edward proposed to me. I was so happy that I couldn't respond for about 10 minutes. I'm so happy. I'm going to be Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen. Mother is enraged. But this is true love. I have never felt a more intense feeling than this in my whole life. He made me feel safe and free. I didn't have to be Sarah Elizabeth the brainiac, or Sarah Elizabeth the beauty, or Sarah Elizabeth the musician. I could just be me with him. He loved me for me. And I love him so much. I can't wait to be his wife and raise a family with him._

I was slowly piecing this together and my body was started to shake.

_Dear Diary,_

_Edward and I are having a baby! I'm so happy. I know I may be young and that Edward and I haven't known each other for very long at all. Just a few months. I know I'm not 17… but I love him and I want to be with him forever. I'm going to have his baby! Mother was furious with me. She even went so far as to suggest that I abort my baby. I had never yelled at my mother but I did then. I won't ever kill my baby. _

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm having a baby boy. He'll be named for his father. My baby will be named, Edward Anthony Masen Jr. I love him. I love my baby and my husband. I love my family. My mother will just need to accept that. Why can't she be happy for me?_

_Dear Diary,_

_Edward and I just came back from the hospital. Edward Jr. is having a rough time. He may die and I can't let that happen. Edward is torn because the doctors told him that he may have to choose between me and the baby. I told Edward to choose the baby. It's no contest. He has to live. My baby has to live. If I have to die, so be it. _

_Dear Diary,_

_Edward doesn't want me to die. Mother blames this all on him and the baby. No one is to blame. But we are both dying. I will give my life for my son. _

That was the last page of the diary. But there was an old folded piece of stationary paper in between the last page and the back cover.

_Dear Edward,_

_I am now being made ready to give birth to you. The doctors tell me that one of us will die today. If you are reading this, then it was me. And I am glad. My baby boy, I am glad that you lived. I loved you from the very moment you were a positive result on a pregnancy test. I just lament not being able to raise you and teach you and love you as a mother should love her son. I begged the doctors to save you. Your father promised me that he would love you and raise you. If you should come across letter, the only proof of my love for you, please know that though I have passed, I will always love you, my son. Please tell your father that I loved him like no other woman could love her man. Though I have passed, my baby, my love for you has not. I don't know if I ever had the chance to hold you or kiss you once. _

_I hope you have grown into a fine boy with a good future ahead of him. And I hope you can forgive me for not being strong enough to carry you. And please do not weep for me. Please know that I am happy that you are alive and well. I know your father loves you and your grandmother will come around. _

_I cannot write any longer my baby. They are taking me in now. I love you, Edward. _

_Your loving mother,_

_Sarah Elizabeth Masen._

I stared at the letter for a long time. I stared at it until I couldn't see the words anymore because my eyes had become blurry with tears. I heard sobbing next to me. I had almost forgotten that I was alone. I wiped my eyes dry, but couldn't stop the sobs that escaped from my own chest.

Sarah was my mother. And I had hated her for all these years. And she loved me. She was dead, but she loved me. She died during childbirth.

"It wasn't your fault, Edward," Bella said between sobs, "the doctors would have saved her if they could. Please don't blame yourself for this."

"All she ever did was love me. And I killed her. I killed her, Bella." I sobbed too.

"No, Edward. No! You didn't. It wasn't your fault. It's… it's…"

"Bella… she was my mother! Oh my God! My whole life has been a lie!" I couldn't control the crying anymore.

"Oh Edward!" She held her arms out for me and I let her embrace me. And we cried together for a long time.

I'm so sorry…Mother. I've hated you for so long. All you ever did was literally love me to death.

"What about my father?" I said.

"I don't know."

"He probably hates me too."

"No Edward, he doesn't." She started to run her fingers through my hair.

"She loved me, Bella. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me. And she did, and I hated her. And I killed her." She sobbed with me all night. Before I passed out, I heard her call her parents to let them know that she was spending the night with me. We fell asleep together and I hoped with every fiber of my being that this was just a bad dream.

**A/N: That was so hard and sad to write. I hope I didn't make anybody cry. Review please.**


	8. Falling Apart

**A/N: A big sorry goes out to ****_nisilein_** **who informed that I indeed did make her cry. If it's any consolation, I cried when I re-read the chapter. So here we go with the next installment. Have fun. Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Falling Apart

BPOV

I woke up sore and heavy. And my head felt fuzzy and my eyes were stinging from crying. I opened my eyes and found myself tangled in Edward's bed. I was tangled in his sheets and our limbs seemed to be in knots. I tried to disengage myself from him but he cuddled up closer to me and whimpered slightly. His eyes were shut tightly and he was frowning. He hadn't slept well. Well neither had I. Who could after all that?

Edward told me he felt as if his live were going to fall apart. I told him I had glue. He was in pieces now… and I would put him back together. But I knew one thing was certain. He couldn't hide this from the others anymore. They had to know. I was sure he knew that. It would take so long for him to be able to handle all this and he needed us. All of us. I freed my arms and started to rub his hair, knowing it would soothe him some. The lines in his face started to melt away and he seemed to be sleeping better before long. I was able to completely detangle myself from him.

I got up and sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands.

_What now? _I thought. I looked at my phone to check the time, but saw that I had one new message.

It was from Jasper.

_Alice is flipping out. Everything feels wrong. Please call me or Em later. _

Of course. Alice would know. And Jasper would pick up on how tense and nervous I was. Soon, Edward would have to tell them everything.

What would I say to him when he woke up?

EPOV

"_Edward, honey. Wake up. You'll be late." I heard the musical sound of my mother's voice. I flopped over._

_"Just five more minutes, mom." She giggled._

_"You said that 10 minutes ago. Now come on sweetie. I made breakfast and I don't want you to eat it in a rush. It would upset your stomach." She hovered over me and kissed my forehead. I smiled._

_"You baby him too much." Came the playful chiding of my father._

_"Of course I do. That's my little baby." She said lovingly._

_"Mom," I whined, "I'm not a baby. I'm 17."_

_"I know," she sighed sadly, "But you'll always be my baby boy. Now get up, Edward honey." I smiled at her and got out of bed. I walked past my father who happily ruffled my already messy hair. He chuckled as I walked by. I stuck my tongue out at him. He returned the gesture. We all sat at the table and had a happy normal breakfast. Dad went off to work, but not before giving me a rib-crushing hug and Mom a take-your-breath-away kiss. She sent me off to school with another kiss on my forehead, a wistful goodbye, making me promise to call her when I got there and an apology for worrying about me so much._

_"It's because you love me," I said playfully._

_"That's right, Edward. I do love you."_

I woke up cold. But from the most wonderful dream in the world. I felt happy and normal. Last night hit me like a Mack Truck and it took everything I had to get my head to stop spinning. I felt so small and defeated. I felt so helpless and wrong. I opened my eyes and remembered that Bella was supposed to there.

_Did she leave me? _I thought desperately… and then kicked myself for it. Bella's not like that. I sat up and found her sitting at the edge of the bed. She looked at me and I looked right back at her. She looked just the way I felt. The words got out of my mouth like vomit.

"Bella, I'm sorry I got you involved in all this. Originally, I wasn't going to. I wanted to do this on my own, but you were here and I had to tell you and…" as I was rambling, she came over to me and hugged me.

"Shhhh… don't be sorry. You needed me, Edward. And I will always be with you when you need me." I relaxed into her body and embraced her back. She was so much smaller than me, but she was comforting me in such a powerful way that I felt almost surrounded by her.

"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

And I meant that. I loved my friends and Esme and Carlisle fiercely. But Bella had always been there for me. And that meant more than anything in the world to me. We stayed that way for a long time. And despite all the crap that was running through my mind, despite how horrible I felt about myself, I felt happy.

This was the glue Bella was talking about. She was my glue. She would keep me from falling apart. She started to play with my hair, the way she always did and I sighed happily.

"What?" She asked.

"You always do that. It feels nice."

"I know. Now try and sleep some more."

I pulled away from her a bit.

"I don't want to sleep. I had the best dream and it tore me apart to wake up. She was trying to wake me up and she called me honey and sweetie. She kissed my forehead and made me breakfast. And he was playful and fun with both of us. It was so normal and happy. And I'll never have that, Bella."

She came back to me and hugged me again.

"Edward, please don't say that. You have a family that loves you. Me, and the others, we love you. Esme and Carlisle love you like you were their very own. Don't spend another minute here. Pack your stuff and leave. You don't need to be here."

I thought about that. She was right. Esme and Carlisle did love me as their own son. I could have a family that loved me. But I still felt so guilty about…my mother. I felt all of last night slapping me in the face.

"Bella, I'm a fuck up. How can you sit here and hold me knowing that I killed her? I took her away from her own mother and her husband. She had people that loved her and I took her away from them. She had a future and I took it from her. I… I…"

"Edward Anthony Masen…Jr.! You did none of those things! She could have saved herself. But she chose to let you live. She died happily knowing that you would live! She wouldn't want to know that you felt this way. And she's watching her mother from heaven know and she's weeping. You deserve to be loved because someone loved you so much that she gave her life so that you would have yours. She loved you. She loves you now. She'll love you tomorrow and the next day and the next."

I wanted to kiss her so bad.

BPOV

I broke my heart to see Edward feeling this way. But I had to let him know that he was wrong. Sarah Elizabeth loved him and she always would. I held him close to me.

"Your mother was beautiful in a way that not many people are anymore. She was beautiful on the inside and the outside. And she loved with an intensity that most people don't have. You have to know that."

"Call the others over, Bella. I want them to… to meet her."

I pulled away and looked at him. His eyes were shimmering. He smiled at me and got from the bed and went to where we had put Sarah's box. He started to go through it.

"Okay." I knew Edward wasn't really ready, but we both that he couldn't hide this from them anymore.

One by one I called them over. I started with Jasper.

"Bella? What's up? Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, Jazz. And you need to come to Edward's house."

"What's wrong? Why are you so… shaken and sad?"

"You have special powers you don't know about, I swear. Just come over. You'll know why then."

"I'll be there. Want me to call the others?"

"No. I'll do it." _Click._

Next I called Emmett.

"Bells!!! Did you get Jasper's message? Do I need to go kick some ass? Just point out the bastard and I'll…"

"Emmett, relax! Yeah I got his message. I need you come to Edward's house."

"I'll be there in 20." _Click._

I took a deep breath. I probably didn't need to call Rosalie, but I did anyway.

"Why is Jazz running around like a chicken with its head cut off?"

"Because I told him he needs to come to Edward's house." I winced.

"What? Why? Bella what's wrong?"

"Just come… we need to talk."

"Okay. But I swear if someone's hurt either of you…"

"We'll talk about it once everyone gets here."

"Bye. See you in a few." _Click._

Now Alice.

"Bella, I'm on my way to Edward's house. Are you there to let us in?"

Wow. Seriously… wow.

"Yeah, but how did you know to be here? Did Jasper call you?"

"No. I just know it's where I need to be. I'll be there soon." _Click._

That Alice. I went back over to Edward who was still perusing his… well his mother's belongings. I sat by him.

"Oh Bella, she was wonderful. She wrote her own music. I can't wait to play them."

Edward learned to play when he was young. The daycare that Esme ran had a keyboard there and he was a natural. So much so that for his 12th birthday, Esme and Carlisle bought him a grand piano that Edward kept at their house. His… well his grandmother… probably would have torched it.

"And she was a runner. And she collected antique jewelry. Look at all these." He put an old jewelry box in my lap and it was filled so much ancient beauty. I examined each piece and was in love with them. I'm sure Alice and Rosalie would too.

"I want you, Alice, and Rose to keep them. There are some I might want to hold on to, but for the most part, they're yours."

I stared at him.

"Edward, no…"

"Please, Bella?" His eyes were pleading with me, and he looked about 10 years younger, like a scared child.

"Okay."

EPOV

I never loved Bella more than I did that day. I've always loved her. I've loved the way I loved my other friends. But that day, I loved Bella more than life itself. She was never more beautiful than she was that morning and probably would never be. She sat with me looking through my… my mother's things. I was going to need to come to terms with that. My mother, who I thought was mother, was my grandmother. And she hated me.

And where was my father? And if she hated me so much, why would she have kept me? Why didn't she let my father keep me? I was afraid of that answer. But it was one I would get soon. Bella called all the others to get here, and I was going to tell them everything. And there were things that Bella didn't even know. I was young and stupid… very stupid. I started to take my shirt off.

"Edward?"

"I'm going to tell them everything. They need to see."

"Are you sure?"

"Not at all. But they need to know. And I am leaving this house. But not until I talk to my… my _Grandmother._" I dropped my shirt to the floor. I looked over to Bella, who, I would swear forever, was blushing. I didn't say anything. Neither did she. "There might be more of her things still in the attic. I'm going to go check."

"Okay. Are you hungry? I'll make you something."

"No. Don't bother." Though I knew she would anyway. And I knew I would eat it. I found two more boxes and threw them down. I was climbing back down just as I heard several desperate knocks on the door. I nodded towards Bella.

"Close this up for me?" I asked, indicating the ladder. She nodded. "I'll answer that." I crossed the house to the front door. I opened it, and Alice started to cry.

"Oh God, Edward…" she whispered.

"What the hell happened?" Jasper asked.

"Come in guys. I want you to meet someone."

**A/N: Another sad chapter. I promise it'll get happier... but not for a while. Remember: The night is always the darkest right before the dawn. I hope you liked it. Review please!!!! Make me happy!**


	9. Pieces

**A/N: Okay okay! This update goes out to _a-pixie-with-attitude_******. **Breathe girl!!!! Here it is in your honor!!! Hahahaa. And welcome to new reader _HelloBatty_! **

**This is another long one with switching POVs. Forgive me if it's confusing.**

**Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Pieces

APOV

I hung up with Bella and ran as fast as I could through the streets. I lived furthest away from Edward and Bella so I had more ground to cover. As I was running, I heard a loud engine roar behind me.

"ALICE!!"

I turned toward the familiar voice. It was Jasper on his motorcycle.

"Jazz!" I yelled back.

"Hop on." He tossed a helmet at me. I put it on and climbed up behind him.

"Where's Rosalie?"

"She's got her own ride. She'll meet us there. I figured you'd need a way to be faster." And with that he peeled off in the direction I was running. I sighed.

That Jasper.

He was so… _Not now, Alice!_ _There is a crisis!_ We made it to Edward's house in record time. Rose and Em had just gotten there. I had to smile at how we were all paired off. Rosalie and Emmett, Me and Jasper… Bella and Edward. Just how I knew it always would be.

Jazz parked the bike on the driveway and helped me off. Rosalie looked frantic. I was already close to crying.

"Alice, you were right! What do you think is wrong?" She asked as soon as she could get close to me. Emmett put his big hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know, Rose."

"Well let's go find out!" We got to the door and Rosalie knocked desperately. A few moments after, Edward got the door. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and I started crying immediately. His body was covered with bruises, new and old, and shallow gashes, scabs and cuts.

"Oh God, Edward," I whispered. I felt Rosalie stiffen with fury. Emmett's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"What the hell happened?" Jasper asked.

"Come in guys. I want you to meet someone." Edward stepped aside and let us in.

The first thing I noticed was that his mother wasn't there. He sat us down in the living room and Bella came in from something in the back of the house to join us.

She looked like she'd been through hell and back several times. Edward looked like he'd been through hell and back so many times that it was routine.

He opened his mouth to say something, but a panicked Rose jumped the gun.

"Who did this to you? Where the hell are they so I can rip them apart myself?" She was crying now. "My God, Edward… why?" I think we were all crying… just that the boys were doing it silently. And we hadn't even heard what happened yet.

Oh dear… we were in for it.

EPOV

Alice and Rosalie were already crying and they hadn't even heard anything yet. It was making hard to say anything. Anger and fear were firmly set in Emmett's face and Jasper's too.

"Girls, please stop crying. It's making it harder for me to tell you anything." They quickly nodded and wiped their faces.

"Okay. It's a long story that starts way before I met any of you. Before we were even born. I've mentioned Sarah to you guys before, right?"

"Yeah, you're sister… the one your mom's always going on and on about. The one that mysteriously died." Emmett so brilliantly answered.

"That's the one." What did I say next? My chest felt heavy. There was no easy way to say this. And I didn't want to go through the whole story again.

I was half tempted to just have Bella read the diary entries to them. I knew that she would. But I had to do this. I looked down and my breathing started to get harder. I felt Bella's hand on my back. The others got very tense and nervous. I swear Jasper may have been trembling.

"I found out how she died." I whispered. I heard Rosalie gasp. I felt Bella come closer to me, holding me close to her. Emmett became very still and Alice started to cry again.

I had to tell them the whole story.

"She was a very smart girl. She graduated high school a couple of years early and went away for college. There she met a man, her music professor. And they fell in love. She got pregnant with his baby, a boy, and she was happy. She loved him from the minute she knew he existed. She loved him so much that…"

and then I started sobbing.

"She loved him so much that when the doctors told her… that the baby was killing her… she told them that she didn't care to die… as long as they saved her baby. And so they did… and she died."

They stayed quiet for the most part. Alice was quietly sobbing. Rosalie was holding back whatever she had built. Jasper was silently panicking and Emmett was just as still as he was. They hadn't put it together yet.

"Sarah Elizabeth Masen… died… giving birth to her son," I said. Then I put my head down and let the sobs take over me, "She died giving birth to me… her son. I am her son. She was my mother. She died… so that I could live… so that I could know this world. She… I…. and now…"

EmPOV

Oh hell. I can't remember the last time I cried like this. There was no stopping it. I was sad, I was confused, but above all I was angry! How could anyone be this… sick? Edward's mother… I mean, his grandmother was just fucked up in the head to _lie_ to him like this. I couldn't begin to imagine how Edward felt. He was crying as if someone had just died. Well I guess that was the case. Only he found out about it 16 years later.

That bitch! I never wanted to hit a woman in my life! Well… no I still didn't. She wasn't a woman. She was a fucking bitch! She didn't deserve to live!

I looked over at Edward, and gave him a closer scan. He was tore up from the floor up. And then I put two and two together.

"Edward, did that crazy bitch do this to you?" I stood up. "She… hurt you like this?"

I yelled. I saw him wince a bit and then nod. Never in my life had I seen anyone look as… defeated as Edward did right then.

I couldn't believe it. Edward had to live with that crazy psycho bitch everyday. That was what he came home to… everyday! He was beaten and tortured like some criminal. Hell no. Hell to the no! I wasn't going to stand for this! I couldn't sit back and watch and let Edward get hurt like… that.

RPOV

Oh. Hell. NO!!!!!

"How could you keep this from us, Edward?" I yelled at him. I know that he just had his life turned upside down… but he had no reason to endure this life he was living. And by keeping this a secret that's exactly what he was doing. I could have slapped him! "We could have helped you! You wouldn't have gone through any of this!" I yelled through my tears of rage.

He looked at me.

"I thought she was my mother, Rosalie! I wasn't going to call the cops and have her taken to jail! I'm not like her! I couldn't let bad stuff happen to her!"

"So you endured this crap for 16 years?" Things started to click.

"Oh my God. When we were kids… all those times you didn't go to school and walking alone in the rain… never taking your shirt off in the pool… Dear Lord, Edward!!!! Why did you let it get this far?!?!? HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US?" I

collapsed back on to the couch. I couldn't stand anymore I was crying so hard. I was so mad! I was livid! I was beyond livid… I was angry at Edward… I was angry at his _grandmother_… I was angry at… CLICK!!!!

"Bella, you knew about this! YOU KNEW THIS ALL ALONG!!! YOU LIED TO ME!!!!" I was fuming! They all knew how much I hated being lied to. I hated it more than anything. And of all things to lie to me about… they knew how protective of them I was… I couldn't believe this…

"Rose, I…" Bella started to say.

"I made her promise me not to say anything. She came to pick me up one day… and she saw me… getting beaten pretty badly. She walked in right as my… well as she was grabbing my hair and slamming me into the wall." Edward sounded like he was 6 years old. And then suddenly I felt worse… how was I capable of making this about me? I was such a bitch.

"Edward… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have yelled at you… Please forgive me… I'm such a horrible bitch... I…"

He shook his head at me.

"It's my fault. You're right. Bella always told me that I needed to tell someone… but see? If I had, I would never have found out about her. I would have never known about my mother."

Then he started to cry again, "I'm horrible. I hated her. I hated her so much. I hated her like no one could ever hate anything…and she just loved me. I never even had to do anything. She loved me because I existed. And I hated her because she existed…"

JPOV

Never in my life did I ever feel such sadness and anger all at once. It was overwhelming. I was always in tune with people's moods… but this was too much. I almost felt like throwing myself off a bridge. Edward was crying like a lost two year old… Emmett was crying… Alice was crying since we got here. Rosalie was crying from sheer anger. Bella was crying. Hell, I was crying. I never cry. And there I was, sobbing away.

I couldn't control it. I was overloaded. This was the most surreal thing I had ever experienced. I never wanted to see my friends suffer like this. And we were all suffering. And that wasn't helping.

We had all learned that Edward had been lied to and abused all his life. None of us were doing what he needed. He needed support and consolation. Emmett and Rosalie were as pissed as a couple of hungry pitbulls. Alice was crying hysterically… she couldn't even talk. Bella was crying too. And I was too crippled by everyone else's reaction that I hadn't even been able to form my own completely yet.

Though what I did know is that this was not helping Edward. I knew what would.

"So, let's get you packed and outta here." Five pairs of bloodshot eyes looked at me. "You don't honestly think that we're gonna let you stay here do you? You can't be here." Edward smiled.

"Thanks, guys… all of you." He wiped his face off. "I know I'm going to be a big mess for a while…"

"Edward…" Bella said. She'd been pretty quiet the whole time. "We love you." The girls nodded. "We're going to be here for you."

He smiled again.

"That means a lot to me. And I will leave. But I need to talk to her. There's more I need to know. And there's a bit more to the story."

BPOV

More? How could there be more? I went over it in my head. Edward's sister was really his mother, his mother was really his grandmother, he's been tortured all his life, and no one knew where his father was… that seemed pretty much it. How the hell was he still sane?

He turned to me.

"Bella, there's stuff that even you don't know. And since I'm telling everything… I'm telling everything." He turned back towards everyone else. "Before… when we were a lot younger and stupider…"

"NO, Edward!!! Don't finish it!! Please don't." Rosalie said.

"Please let me. I'm tired of the silence… I have to." No one said anything. "Not all of these marks came from someone else."

The room started to spin. What did he say? What?

"Oh no, Edward. Oh no no no!" I started to bawl wildly.

"I'm sorry!" He did too. "But there were times I just wanted to die. I didn't want to feel hated anymore. I was tired of fighting." He cried.

Emmett nodded.

"That's understandable," he said calmly. We all looked at him like he had finally lost his mind. "No, I get it. Anyone would react like that. But if you ever even so much as think about it… you have to do anything. I'll do it for you." Emmett sounded deadly. And Edward smiled.

"It was years ago, Em. I'll never do it again."

"You better not! I swear to God, Edward. I'll rip you apart!" Emmett got up and went over to Edward. He stood him up and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry had to go through all this shit, man. And at running the risk of sounding really gay, we love you, dude. You're my brother, and I'm gonna see you through this. We all are. So no more hate talk. You didn't kill your mom. She picked you. She died for you, not because of you. So you owe it to her to live. You owe her. So you gotta pick your life, man and keep walking. You've got a life to live. And you owe it to her to live it big."

That was the most beautiful speech I had ever heard Emmett make.

Edward was smiling and returned Emmett's man hug.

"Thanks, Em."

"Oh Emmett... that was beautiful…" Rose said and we all laughed a bit.

EPOV

There they were… Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Bella. My glue. And they were gonna put the pieces of my life back together. Emmett was right. I owed my mother. I needed to live my life as grand as I could live it. She loved me… and she gave me the gift of choosing me. Though my life thus far had been horrible… I would make the rest was wonderful. It wouldn't be easy. It's not like I could accept this overnight. There were still answers I needed. There were still confrontations I needed to have. And those might tear me up some more. But I wasn't alone. And I knew things would be a little easier to bear.

**A/N: I hope everyone liked this chapter.**** There are a few more bangs of drama to come... but the next chapter is going to be a bit on the flufflier side. This sad stuff is starting to get to me. Edward needs to be built some more before the big talk with his mother... well his grandmother. Next chapter will be out this weekend. Review please??? Pretty please??? **


	10. Glue

**A/N: Okay! This chapter is dedicated to my homegirls at work! MariposaRican and Adria aka Emmett's Baybymomma! They would would probably kill me tomorrow if I didn't post this tonight. So if updates get more frequent, thank them! hehehehe**

**Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Glue

EPOV

Jasper got us mobilized and had me packed and ready to leave before the end of the day. There were a lot of things I was leaving behind simply because I didn't need them. The hardest part was going through my…mother's things.

I didn't take much either. I took things that I thought she would want me to have. I took the letter she wrote to me, her jewelry box, a few pictures and her sheet music. There were a few loose pieces of paper seemed like letters and I took those too. I'd read them later when I wasn't feeling so broken. Other than that, I left the rest behind. The day passed in a blur, as my good days usually do, and it was time for the others to go home.

"Thanks, guys. Thanks for everything." I said to them.

"She comes back tomorrow right?" Rosalie asked with venom leaking into her voice.

"She does." They simply nodded. We had established a plan.

They knew I wanted to talk to her. And we knew it wouldn't end up well for me. So I was taking my stuff to Bella's house and spending the night with her. Bella's father, Charlie, was head of police. And as much as I didn't want to admit, he would have to handle her once he found out.

I wondered how Esme and Carlisle would take it. I didn't want to tell them… not just yet. There were so many things I didn't know yet… and I didn't want to tell more half stories.

It was so surreal. My life had turned upside, had fallen apart and had been put back together again in the matter of a single weekend. There had to be holes somewhere. And I was sure I would find them sooner or later. I was prepared for that. I was sure I would have my fair share of breakdowns and shutdowns in the near future. I was sure of it, but I didn't like it.

But Emmett was right. I needed to get through this. I owed my mother to live my life as grand as I could and if I needed to lose my mind a few times along the way, then I would have to deal with it.

Everyone helped me move my stuff, all 4 boxes of it, into Bella's room. Her parents weren't home, which I was so grateful of. I needed some time to relax before I told the story all over again.

"We'll see you tomorrow at school then?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. I'll talk to her after class." I hugged her small pixie body and she hugged me back with her really unexpected strength.

"Bye Edward. And I really am sorry." Rosalie said with a long hug.

"Try and relax." Jasper hugged me.

"Peace man." Emmett hugged me too.

"Bye guys. See you tomorrow!" Bella called after them.

Bella led me inside the house.

"You haven't eaten all day. You must be hungry." She said with a frown.

"You don't have to take care of me all the time you know." I said with a smile. She did too much for me.

"I want too. Now sit and let me make you something." She smiled back at me. "What would you like?"

"Anything you make is good."

BPOV

I decided Edward needed comfort food and lots of it. So I made his favorites. I made him fried chicken and pizza. I also baked a big apple pie. That was bound to make him feel better. He never specifically told me what he liked. He ate anything I made… but I knew Edward like that back of my hand.

"Here! I made your favorites!" I set the food down in front of him. He smiled widely.

"You're the best." His green eyes sparkled at me. I was momentarily stunned.

"Ummm… Thanks. I was unaware."

"Well now you are aware." And with that he proceeded to devour what I made him. I ate some myself, but he ate most of it. Of which, I was glad. I could tell he was feeling better and that made me happy. I knew there were rough times ahead. And I knew I would be right there with him the whole way.

"I feel like a kid eating this much!" He laughed.

"Well good, cause that's what you look like." I teased him. He ignored me and finished off his food.

"You truly are the best, Bella." He smiled at me, and again I was stunned, almost dazzled by his bright green eyes.

"Are you tired?" I managed to ask after a minute. I was surprised my face wasn't on fire.

"Mmhmm." He yawned right on cue for emphasis.

"It's been a long day. Let's go to bed."

EPOV

Bella was the best person to ever walk this planet. Though I felt ashamed by how much she took care of me. But I knew she did it because that's what she wanted to do. I had a very trying day and Bella did everything she could to make me feel better.

I followed up to her room, when a sudden chill ran down my spine. I had never felt… apprehension about sleeping in Bella's room before. But now a small fear was starting to overtake me. I'd slept here all the time… in her bed, with her, all the time.

This now was different.

There were feelings for Bella stirring within me. And I was vulnerable. I would sleep next to her knowing I felt this way. But I had other troubles and a night next to Bella might just give me the strength to deal with tomorrow.

She was digging around in her dresser, in the drawer with my clothes in it. She tossed some pajamas at me.

"You shower in my bathroom and I'll shower in my parents' bathroom." I nodded. I couldn't trust myself to really speak yet.

A long hot shower seemed like the perfect thing to diffuse me. But it did nothing but wind me up tighter. The last time I showered here, Bella saw me nearly naked… and I was tempted to believe that she was enjoying the view. I didn't stay in there for more than 15 minutes. I got out and dressed in the pajamas that she gave me; a black wife beater and navy blue basketball shorts.

Hmmm. Seemingly innocent sleeping apparel. There couldn't be any hidden agenda associated with them.

Part of me hoped there was.

BPOV

My dresser had 5 drawers. The bottom one was Edward's. I went to it to pick him out something to sleep in.

_He looks really nice in dark colors. Remember last time? _My hands found a black wifebeater and a pair of navy blue basketball shorts. Blue was my favorite color… NO! NO NO NO! I fought with myself. Now was certainly not a good time to be having these thoughts. We were going to be sharing a bed… not that we haven't before.

He slept over all the time and always in my bed… with me… but now…

"You shower in my bathroom and I'll shower in my parents' bathroom." I said to him. He nodded and walked out of my room. I could have kicked myself. I never thought about what Edward would see me in. I never thought to care that he would care… but there I was trying to pick out something cute to sleep in.

"Bella, you suck." I said out loud as I picked out a matching baby blue pajama set. _At least the pants are long…_

I showered and washed my hair in record time. I was eager to get to bed. As awkward as I knew tonight would be, I was tired and was in dire need of sleep. I'm sure Edward was too.

It was still early though we were heading for bed. It was about 8 o'clock and my parents still wouldn't be home yet. They wouldn't be for another hour and would be thrilled to death to find Edward in bed with me. _Edward in bed with me… well there's a nice thought…_

GET A GRIP! No nice thoughts!! At least not ones like that.

This was going to be one weird night. **(A/N: I almost stopped here... but I chose life.)**

EPOV

I was on Bella's bed tossing the seizure pillow around when she walked in. I looked at her and thoughts that had no business being in my mind made a long cameo appearance.

To sum it up, I'll use one of Emmett's more blunt phrases. I saw Bella and immediately thought, _Damn! Bella is FINE! _I shook my head.

She giggled at me.

"You better not pack that away when you leave." She gestured at the seizure pillow. I smiled.

"Who me?" I teased. "I would never take this thing." I lied. I vowed I would steal it from her the very day she got it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must be confusing you with the other Edward."

"Gasp! There's another Edward?" I said overly dramatically. She giggled.

"Yup. You weren't fun anymore, so I got a new one."

"Oh no!" I put my hands on my chest. "How will I go on?" I threw the pillow at her. It her hit right in the face. I tried not to… but I busted out in laughter. It felt good. She stuck her tongue out at me and I laughed harder.

"Just for that, I'm not giving it back." She said with her nose in the air.

"Oh really?" I said. I crouched on her bed…kind of like a predator. A lion maybe.

"Yes really." She said, smirking at me.

"Well then I just have to take it back." I said.

"Ha ha! I'd like to see you try!"

"Are you challenging me?"

"I'm not afraid of you." She looked at me and giggled a bit.

"You really shouldn't have said that," I said in a low voice. I sprang off the bed and she screamed playfully as I chased her around the room. I jumped at her and tackled her and we both landed on the bed, me on top of her. We were both laughing hysterically. I got on my hands and knees so that I hovering over her. Yeah… nothing wrong with that picture.

"So, who's not scary?" I asked her, raising my eyebrows.

"I'm not. You on the other hand are terrifying." She said between laughs. "Here take it!" She hit me in the head with the seizure pillow. I took it and let myself collapse on her other side. And just like that, all the awkwardness was gone. It was just Bella and Edward, just like always.

After a few minutes, our laughter subsided and I felt the day pressing itself on me. I let out a sigh. Bella turned over on her side to face me.

"What is it?" She asked, almost whispering.

"I wish everyday could be as carefree as it was just a few minutes ago." I said truthfully.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I wish there were more I could do for you." I turned to look at her now.

"You do too much for me." She was right there. Her faces just inches from mine. "Why do you care about me so much?" I asked. I had always wanted to know. Bella always cared about me, and sometimes, in my weaker moments, I believed I wasn't worth the effort. She looked at me and her hand grabbed my arm.

"Which ones are yours?" She asked indicating the scars. I immediately knew what she meant. I couldn't look at her. I turned back over before answering her. But she stopped me. "No Edward. Look at me." I turned back over to her, surprised at her demand. "Now, tell me. Which ones are yours?" I sat up and so did she while still holding on to my arm.

"This one," I said using my free arm to trace along a thin scar that ran along my forearm, from my wrist to my elbow. "There's a similar one along my other arm." I continued my voice nearly a whisper. I had no clue why she wanted to know. But I felt compelled to answer her.

"Are there more?"

"Yes, lots more. But those two are the only ones that are visible anymore. The others were smaller and they've faded away." Then she did something unbelievable. She bent down and she kissed each one of my scars. I was blown away. I could only stare at her.

"Edward, I care about because you deserve it. This," she held on to both of my arms and shook them slightly, the forearms, my scars, facing me, "is what you don't deserve. You don't deserve to be hated, to hate yourself. I don't care what it takes. I will make sure you never feel this way again. I will be with you whenever you need me, for whatever you need. You deserve to cared about Edward. If you ever feel like you're heading down that road again, please come to me. And I'll bring you back." Her brown eyes shimmered at me, dazzling me. I nodded.

"I promise, Bella." I smiled at her.

"Come on, let's go to sleep." We both reclined back onto her bed. As I put my head on the pillow, she started to play with my hair. I sighed happily. I closed my eyes.

"Are you okay?" She whispered.

"Mmhmm. You have idea how nice that feels." I whispered back. I opened my eyes to look at her. "You're my favorite person in the world. You know that right?"

She smiled at me.

"Go to sleep." She giggled lightly.

"Come closer." She scooted closer to me and I put my arms around her. She put her head on me to use my chest as a pillow. "Thank you."

"Anything for you."

And I as drifted off to sleep, two things were very clear to me: how much Bella meant to me, and how much I loved her.

**A/N: YAY!!! He loves her!!!! But does she love him?????? (yeah, I know... stupid question) But hold on to this fluff, cause things are about to get heavy. Review please!!!! I'll give you a cookie... or a chocolate covered vampire... your choice!**


	11. Freedom

**A/N: Sorry for updating late... but there were a few things taking up my time... like the Twilight movie! and let me tell you... IT WAS AMAZING!!!! Oh My Lanta!!!! It was wonderful!!!! I loved loved loved it!!!! But here we go with the next installment. ENJOY!!! It's another long one!**

**And oh... This one goes out to _RaCullen. _Thank YOU, girl for reading and enjoying my story!!! It makes me really happy... which I need alot of today... see the note at the end. I'm done rambling now...**

**Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight...**

Freedom

BPOV

I woke up with no desire to get up. It wasn't the normal, "Oh my bed feels no nice right now I don't wanna go to school" kind of feeling. It was my second night in a row sharing a bed with Edward. The first night had been under sadder circumstances. But last night felt… right.

There was a mixture of emotions. I felt girlish joy because he told me I was his favorite person in the world. Then he asked me to come closer to him. When he put his arms around me… it felt as if… The world hadn't started spinning until I slept in Edward's arms. Everything fell together. The birds learned to sing. Flowers finally figured out how pretty they were and how nice they smelled. Oysters learned to make pearls. The sun learned to shine.

All was right with the world.

I'm not sure how long I lay with him awake on my bed, but he was peacefully sleeping. There was no trace of trauma or sadness in his features. I didn't have the heart to wake him. But we would be late if I didn't. It was hard to move though. Again, I was literally tangled with him. I let out an amused sigh.

"Edward. Wake up." I shook my body to shake his.

"Nuh uh." He said, his voice thick with sleep. I chuckled.

"Edward," I whined, "It's time to get up."

"No it isn't." He said, his eyes still closed and his body still unmoving. I wondered if he was talking in his sleep. I tried to wiggle away from him, but he tightened his hold on me. "Bella… no…" it was his turn to whine. I laughed. He was awake.

"Come on. At least let me go so I can make breakfast. My parents have to eat before work you know."

"Fine… but it's so early." He pouted.

"I have to make breakfast, so I get up early. You can stay in bed longer if you want." He was so cute. He opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

"It's okay. You already woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep now if I tried." There was slight glint in his eyes, but they seemed gentler somehow. He let me go and I instantly missed the feeling of his arms around me. I had never slept so comfortably. It was almost enough to make me want to skip school so that I could lay with him all day.

He followed me downstairs where my mom already was, making breakfast. That surprised me. She saw us both and did exactly what I thought she would.

"Edward, honey!" She embraced him in a big hug. "How are you? I'm glad to see you spent the night!"

"Good morning to you too, mommy dearest." I said with a laugh.

"Shhh, I'm having my Edward time!" She said. She always pretended to ignore me, which tickled Edward to death.

"Good morning, Renee. I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you this lovely morning?" He asked overly politely.

"Much better now that I know you spent the night with Bella." Mom made it no secret that she wanted Edward and I get married and have many babies. She had told Edward this several times. He blushed a bit when she winked at him. I was already blushing 8 shades of pink. Dad came in a few moments. Ah yes… more pretend to ignore Bella time.

"Edward, my boy! Glad to see you!" He shook Edward's hand and patted his shoulder.

"Good morning to you too, daddy dear." I mumbled, though very amused. They did this every time… it never failed. "Sometimes I think you two like him better than me." I teased.

"Oh that's because we do!" My mom said happily. Edward laughed.

Gladly, Mom was making a simple breakfast. She wasn't the best cook in the world, but it didn't stop her from trying. We had a nice breakfast with my parents, but it was finally time for us to get ready and head out to school. I was hoping the morning would last longer. I didn't want Edward to face what was waiting for him in the evening.

EPOV

I spent most of the day in a zombie like state. Half the time my mind was in the past, falling to sleep and waking up with Bella. The other half was in the future, confronting my… the woman who raised me. If someone were to ask me what happened at school that day, I'd ask them if I was there… because essentially I wasn't. At least not in the ways that really matter.

The hours flew by as if I had willed them to. Good. I needed to get this over with. I would confront her, find out what I needed to know and then never see her again. Though there was a voice in the back of mind that was nagging at me.

_No, Edward. Don't shut her out. She suffered the loss of her daughter. She's confused and lonely. You're a better person than that. _

But that voice was quickly silenced by another.

_Tell her to go to hell. She's an old bitter bitch that lied to you and abused you. If she won't go to hell quietly, help her along. _

And then there was the happy medium.

_Get your info, thank her for raising you, and then forget she ever existed. _

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!The bell rang and I leapt from my seat. The gang was waiting for me at Jasper's locker. Jasper came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"We're going with you." He said plainly.

"No. You're not. None of you are. I have to do this alone."

"Like hell you are! You've been alone in this all your life, Edward." Rosalie said.

"Rose, everyone, please. I have to do this alone." The rest were about to protest but Emmett spoke first.

"If Edward wants to do this alone let him."

"Em, we can't abandon him!" Rose yelled.

"We aren't abandoning him. This is what he wants." He turned to me. "Edward, you better haul you ass outta there when all is said and done. We'll be waiting at Bella's." He turned to the others. "Now let's go before I change my mind." He smiled at me. "Live big, man."

"Live big or die trying."

******

I stood in front of my…. My grandmother's house. Her car was in the garage and I could hear the sounds of the TV coming from inside. I took a few deep breaths. _It's now or never._ I didn't know how to start. Maybe I should play stupid for a while… toy with her a bit. No. I wanted in and out of there. _Like ripping off a bandage. Quick and painless…_ HA. Yeah sure. Nice one, Edward. I pulled out my key and opened the door, already preparing myself for this assault, whether physical or verbal.

"Oh it's you." She said angrily. I decided I wasn't going to play any games. I was going to get right to it.

"You fucking liar!" I yelled at her. She stood up and backhanded me across the face. I didn't flinch. I barely even felt it.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you piece of shit!"

"I'll talk to you however the hell I want! You lied to me! You aren't my mother! Sarah… or should I say Sarah Elizabeth wasn't my sister! _SHE_ WAS MY MOTHER!" I yelled right in her face. She staggered back a bit.

"And how did you…"

"I heard you! I heard everything you said about her the night you left! So while you were gone, I did some research and I found her things." And then she backhanded me again.

"Then you lied to me! You said you were sleeping!" She started to hit me for everything she was worth. I grabbed her arms and held them down. Something I had never dared to do before.

"ENOUGH! You fucking lied to me my whole life! You abused me and lied to me! You good for nothing bitch!"

"Let go of me!" She shrieked and tried to wiggle free. She was pretty damn strong. But I wasn't letting go.

"NO! It's my turn now. So shut up and pay attention! I know everything! I read her diaries and saw her pictures and I read the letter she wrote to me! You're the worthless piece of shit! She loved me! Your daughter loved me and you couldn't find it in your fucking heart to love what she left you!"

"YOU KILLED HER! You and your father killed my baby! You should have died!" And she was right. I knew that. I knew it was my fault… But I couldn't let her see that.

"Tell me where he is!"

"I'm not telling you shit!"

I grabbed her.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS! Where is my father?"

She was surprised I was being forceful with her.

"He's dead."

"How?" I asked. I stood tall though I felt like falling over… my father was dead. Did I kill him too? And then she smiled.

"When Sarah Elizabeth died and left you behind, he said that he would take the best care of you and love you enough for both of them. He said that you were the best gift that she could have ever given him. I couldn't have that. Neither of you deserved to be happy. So before the doctors could get to him I told him that you died too. He killed himself the next day."

And then she laughed. My vision went red. I wanted to hit her. I wanted to kill her. "Then I took you and vowed to make your life miserable."

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! I can't believe this! You killed my father! You murderer!"

"Shut the fuck up!" She punched me in the face hard and knocked me to the ground. "No one deserved to be happy! My baby was taken away from me! I should have killed you! But I didn't! You should thank me!"

She started to kick me in the ribs. And then she lifted me up by the hair, and slapped me hard. She had turned her rings around so there would be cuts on my face. Then she threw me back the floor and stepped on my back... It was like I was having an out of body experience. I didn't feel anything. "So now you know it all. You were born to suffer! And I will make sure you do!" I got up away from her and staggered back.

"I HATE YOU!" I never knew three words could be so powerful… so healing. I felt years of weight life away from my body… I felt… giddy. "I hate you! I hate you, I hate you… I hate you!" I said it over and over and over again.

"Shut up!" She screamed. Then she pushed me back onto the floor, but I got right back up. Then I did something I should have never done. I pushed her to the floor. She looked at me with shocked eyes.

"It's so funny! I used to feel sorry for you. I didn't want to hate you. Because I thought you were my mother. So I hated Sarah Elizabeth instead. But it was really you I hated all along. Can't you see? You failed! I have people that love me… so the only without love here is you!" I doubled over laughing. I snapped. She stood up. I pushed her back down.

"How does it feel?" I laughed. She stood back up and I pushed her right back down. "TELL ME HOW IT FEELS! You don't like it do you? It's not fun being pushed to the floor, knowing how much someone hates you, is it?" She stood up again.

"Don't you dare put you hands on me!" Her hand went flying toward me face but I grabbed her hand and bent her wrist back. She yelped in pain. Something was taking over in me… I was hurting her. I knew this was wrong. But that something was enjoying this… she deserved this.

"What'll you do? Hit me? Kick me? Tell me you hate me?" I laughed. "You need something new because that's getting old." I kept laughing and then pushed her back onto the floor. _STOP IT! _I yelled to myself. But I was still laughing.

"It looks like I win though….because I am loved! And you're not!" I laughed harder.

"Just shut the hell up! No one loves you! Stop laughing!"

"But it's so funny! Because they do love me! They know it all too! In fact, they helped me pack!"

"YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE!!!!" She rushed up to me and hit me hard in the head with something… but I still couldn't feel it. I was sure I heard shattering. She yanked me back by my hair and I fell onto the floor. I did feel something that time… but my body was so pulsing with my new found hate that it didn't really register pain. She kicked me hard in the chest, and I spewed up some blood. "You're going to stay here and be miserable! You owe me this for taking my baby away!"

I got up and stared at her for a minute. My mother didn't look anything like her. Sarah Elizabeth was delicate and beautiful. But this woman was too warped with jealousy and hatred. Her hair was similar in color to mine and just as wild… but her eyes were unnaturally almost red, making her look evil. Her hands looked like claws almost, and her face was twisted like a hungry predator's. She was ugly, plain and simple. She was on the outside what she was on the inside.

She stood there staring back at me with nothing but loathing in her eyes. I saw my reflection in them, what I looked like to her. I would hate me too. There I was, a constant reminder that the only person she loved and that loved her, was gone. Dead and gone and never coming back.

But none of that could change what she had put me through. She could've have given me away. She could've killed me. But she wanted me to suffer for the rest of my life. She wanted to be one that made me suffer, just like I had done to her. But that didn't make me hate her any less. Now she would suffer just like me.

"I fucking hate you, you bitch! Go to fucking hell! They're waiting for you!"

And with that I turned around and walked right out of her house. The freedom was wonderful… I was free. I was free from the hate, from the torture… I felt powerful. I felt new. I felt like nothing could touch me. I knew she had beaten me pretty bad, but I couldn't feel anything. I was on top of the world…and that scared the hell out of me.

Hating someone should not make anyone feel this good. There was also the fact that I had hurt her back. That should not have made me feel good. But there was some monster inside me telling me I hadn't done enough. And I knew it should hurt. I was bleeding; she hit me in the head hard with some object. But none of that mattered. I hated her and all was right with the world. She would live in that house alone, just her and her hate for everyone. And now she could add my hate for her on to her pile.

I got to Bella's house and knocked on the door. Emmett filled the doorway.

"My God, Edward! What the hell…"

"I'm free, guys…" I smiled, and then everything faded to black.

**A/N: So there we go... writing this chapter was really hard, and like SM... the characters take over and now I'm in a really hateful state of mind. Add that in with a house of guests with a bunch of annoying kids, and my sister trying to find every negative snippet of the Twilight movie she can and throwing it in my face... so my mood is not in the best shape. I've been snapping off at everyone... So help my mood and review please! They make me really happy! And let me know what you thought of the movie! You all rock!!!**


	12. Choice

**A/N: I need to thank the people that reviewed last chapter. I was feeling pretty crappy... but those reviews made me feel much better! This chapter goes out to _Amy104..._ she gets the first chapter review award! And also to _nisilein _who is in Germany and has to wait until January to see the movie! So here we go peeps! In your honor!**

**Disclaimer: I am not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Choice

BPOV

We were all worried sick about Edward. We sat mostly in silence, pretending to watch TV. I finally couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going over there to check on him." I stood up and went for the door but Alice blocked my way.

"NO! Things will be worse if you go." She said with eerie certainty.

"You make it sound like someone will die." Emmett said.

"If Bella goes, that will happen." Alice stared me down, her eyes willing me to sit.

"But, Alice I…"

"I know, Bella. I know. Me too. I wanna be there with him now too. I hate sitting here waiting… but it's what's best. Any of us going will make things worse."

I sat back down on the couch, fidgeting nervously. How much longer? _Edward, where are you? _I thought manically. Jasper was sitting with his eyes closed.

"We need to relax. You're all so tense and nervous right now. That's not going to make anything better. We need to be clam for when Edward gets here. He's going to need us."

Jasper was right. This tense environment was not going to help Edward and I almost instantly started to shake it off when a slight knock came at the door. I shot up to answer put Emmett put his hand up.

"I'll get it." He filled the doorway so I couldn't see. But I heard. "My God, Edward. What the hell…" Then I heard Edward's voice. It sounded broken and far away.

"I'm free, guys…" Then Emmett stepped back a bit.

"Shit! Outta the way! Move!" He turned around. He was carrying a very damaged Edward in his arms. He was cut, bruised, bleeding…broken. But he was smiling.

Rosalie screamed. I ran up to him.

"Edward! Edward!"

"I need to lay him down!"

"I'm calling Carlisle!" Rosalie began punching numbers on her phone.

"Take him up to my room!" I screamed, tears blurring my vision. I had never seen him look so hurt before. There was blood everywhere. He looked like a broken doll as Emmett flew up my stairs. I flew up behind him, not falling once. Alice and Jasper were close behind.

"I'll stay down here and wait for Carlisle. He says he'll be over ASAFP!" Rose called after us. Emmett let me get ahead of him and I cleared off my bed. Emmett set him down.

"I'll take that devil out myself!" Emmett's voice shook the walls of my room. He turned around to actually go do that.

"Em, no… it'll make things worse." Jasper said holding him back.

"Look at him, Jasper! Look at him!" Emmett was furious.

"Boys, settle down. This isn't helping!" Alice yelled.

"Edward! Please wake up! Open your eyes!" I shook him slightly. He didn't respond and the smile never left his bloody face. "His head is bleeding! Oh my God! He isn't breathing! He's dead! She killed him! Edward! Please answer me!" I was going hysterical.

"Bella don't say that! He's alive! Say it with me. Edward is alive." Alice said … nearly as hysterical as I was.

"Edward is alive. Edward is alive." We repeated together through teary voices.

"Edward, dude! Don't play this! Wake the hell up!" Emmett yelled.

"Is he really not breathing?" Jasper asked me.

"His chest isn't moving!" I bawled.

"Move aside." Jasper leaned in close to Edward. "No… he is breathing, but it's shallow. He's losing too much blood!"

"No shit! He's got a fucking head wound! Where is Carlisle?" Emmett seethed. As if on cue, Rosalie shouted from downstairs.

"He's here! Bring Edward down!"

Emmett scooped him up and bolted downstairs toward Carlisle.

"Good Lord… what happened?" He asked.

"No time… we need you look at him." Emmett said.

"He needs to go the hospital. Let's go." Carlisle somehow loaded us all into his Mercedes. And he drove at the speed of sound to the hospital. We jetted out of his car, Emmett carrying Edward the whole way.

"I can't take all of you with me. Emmett, since you're carrying him, come with me. The rest will have to wait here."

"But, Carlisle…" I started.

"I'm sorry, Bella." And with that, he and Emmett ran through the doors that only doctors and patients were allowed to go. The rest of us were left to wait.

We sat down on some chairs.

"What if he…"

"Don't, Bella. Don't think like that. He'll be fine." Jasper said.

"Emmett's so wonderful," Rosalie sighed randomly. We turned to look at her. There were black streaks running down her face. It looked as if she had cried black tears. "He didn't care that Edward was all bloody and he just took charge of the situation without thinking. He's a wonderful person." And she was right. Emmett was a wonderful person. "And I'm proud of you too, Jazz."

"What did I do?"

"You kept us calm. You kept us from losing our minds." She smiled at him. He smiled back. It was nice moment between them. But I felt that Rose meant a little something more when she said that Emmett was a wonderful person… but my mind was too afraid and worried to really think about that. Alice was just sitting there, motionless. Jasper went over to sit by her. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him and started crying silently.

_Please let him be okay. I can't go on if something happens to him._ After a while, Emmett emerged wearing scrubs. Carlisle probably made him change into non-bloody clothes. He walked over to us and sat in the empty chair next to Rosalie.

"He's going to be okay." He said. "Carlisle says if we had waited any longer in calling him, we probably would have lost Edward. So way to go, Rose. But they stopped the hemorrhaging. So we just have to wait now."

We seemed to wait for an eternity. Doctors ran in and out through the double doors. Carlisle hadn't been one of them. Alice and Jasper fell asleep leaning against each other. Emmett was up and down the whole time.

"What time is it?" Rose asked.

"We've only been here for half an hour." Emmett said plainly.

"It feels like we've been sitting here for years." I said, my voice still shaking.

"Feels that way doesn't it?"

I nodded slightly and went back to my task of memorizing the pattern of cracks in the walls. That one looks like the scar on Edward's face. That one looks like the bruise on Edward's face. Those other there come together to look the blood that was trickling down his face.

"My God! What's taking so long?" I finally shouted.

"I don't know, Bella. We just have to wait."

"I don't want to wait! I have to see Edward now!"

"I have a better job for you."

"And what would that be, Emmett?"

"Call Charlie. Report this and get that crazy lady locked up where she belongs." He looked at me. "I know you're worried about him. I know you want Edward to be okay. I do too, we all do."

I stared at him in awe.

"Emmett, when did you get so…" then he laughed.

"I'm the protector, Bells. I've always been this way." I was sure I didn't imagine the flutter of Rosalie's eyes, or the big big sigh she let go. But I was pretty impressed with Emmett myself.

"I'll call Dad. We'll get her put away."

EPOV

It hurt. Everything hurt and it was all different kinds of pain. I felt heavy, like I was being buried in sand… sand with nails in it. I wanted to let go of it. I wanted to detach myself from it, and not feel anything anymore. Because the pain was beyond physical.

I didn't know where I was. I couldn't hear anything, but I saw something. How cliché. I was in a tunnel. What was it that everyone said about tunnels? Not go towards the light, or something like that. Now that would been have easy, but there was light on both sides of this tunnel. So which way did I go? Both lights were the same. They were both warm… and both were talking to me. I knew that going one way would kill me. So which way was life? I didn't want to die… not anymore.

_Edward…. Edward…._ I heard an unfamiliar female voice calling to me.

_"Who is that? Who is calling me?_

_Edward… Edward... Edward baby… My baby…_

_"Mother? Mom? Is that you?"_

_Edward… my son…_ This time it is was a male voice calling me.

_"Dad?"_ I ran towards the voices.

The light got brighter, the pain started to disappear, and the voices got louder and then I could see them. She was beautiful. Her long bronze hair flowed all around her fair skinned face. Her green eyes were pale, but they sparkled. And he was a handsome man. He had brown hair and hazel eyes. He was big like Emmett but tall like Jasper. He was the kind of father everyone wanted. Both were shimmering, sheathed in white, with an angelic light surrounding them. They smiled at me. I held out my arms to them…

**********

CPOV (Carlisle POV)

I was losing him… Edward wasn't responding to anything. I had stopped the hemorrhaging. And the wounds were cleaned and disinfected. He was all stitched up. His vitals were stable a few minutes ago…. But then the heart monitor started doing something no doctor likes. It was a madhouse.

"WE'RE LOSING HIM!" I yelled. A nurse set up the defibrillator for me. "Clear!" His body jumped, but no response. "Damn it, Edward! Don't leave us!" Right then, Bella and the others burst into the room. Esme was with them.

EPOV

"Mom! Dad! It's me!"

"My baby… look at how you've grown!" My mother's whispery voice said. "You're so handsome."

"Dad! She lied to you! I didn't die! Look! I'm here!"

"That's my boy! Just look at you! I bet you have to beat the girls away with a stick!" He laughed. I love them so much already.

"I'm sorry, Mom… I hated you… but I didn't know…"

"Shhh… I'm not mad baby. Not at all. My mother… she was very cruel to you. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No, Mom… I love you."

"I love you too, my Edward."

"I love you too, Dad!"

"Love ya, son." They smiled at me and I went to take a few steps closer to them. "Hold on there. You don't want to die, do you? You made your mother here a promise. You've got a life to live."

"But, I want to be with you. There's so much I missed." I said with tears in my eyes.

"Honey, if we touch you, you'll die. You can't come with us. But we'll meet again someday. Now is just not your time. Can't you hear them?" My mother pointed toward the other end of the tunnel, and I did hear voices.

_Damn it, Edward. Don't leave us!_ Carlisle?

_NO! NO!!! I didn't want to be right!! _Alice?

_Edward! Remember your promise! You can't die on me man! _Emmett?

_Dude! This isn't funny! Wake the hell up! _Jasper?

_I swear, if you die… I'll bring you back to life and kill you myself! _Rose?

_Edward, sweetie… don't leave us! _Esme, too?

_Please don't leave me, Edward. Please don't me leave! _Bella… all the people I loved… they were calling me. But… I looked back at my parents. They loved me too… and I loved them. Which way did I go?

"This isn't a hard choice, son. You know where you want to go." My father said.

"But I don't want to leave you."

"We're always with you, baby. Now go… they're waiting for you. You promised me… and there is something there that you love very deeply. Don't keep her waiting."

"Bella… I love her…"

_Edward! Please wake up! Don't leave me! _I heard Bella's voice scream.

_I'm sorry, but I need you all out of here! _Carlisle yelled.

_NO! I'm not leaving him! EDWARD!!!_

"You have to go back." My father said. I nodded, and turned around to run the other way. I looked back to have one last look at my parents.

"I love you both!" My mother blew a kiss at me and my father gave me a sly wink.

"Go get her, tiger!"

I ran as fast as I could. My family was waiting for me. Bella was waiting for me. The other light was getting warmer and the voices were getting clearer.

_He's coming back! We're getting him back! _

_EDWARD!! _

"Bella! I'm coming!" I ran closer and I started to feel the pain again. It crushed against my body, knocking me over. It was hard to stand… but I had to. They were waiting for me; she was waiting for me.

**A/N: Don't throw stuff at me!!! The next chapter is nearly finished. I'm going to hustle and finish... but when I post it is up to you! So review homesicles! I may even put it up tonight! My visitors from last night left... so I'm in a much better mood!**


	13. Like Romeo Loved Juliet

**A/N: WOW!!! The response to the last chapter was the best yet! The reviews made me so happy! So here's chapter 13!!!! I really hope you all like it! This chapter goes out to _luv2write320_who said she'd be checking for my update tonight! Well here it is.... what you've all been waiting for!**

**Disclaimer: I'm still not awesome enough to own Twilight...**

Like Romeo Loved Juliet

CPOV

I couldn't think with everyone there screaming and crying. Esme was a mess and it killed me not to be able to go and comfort her. Alice was having hysterics… she somehow saw that I was losing Edward, and that's why everyone had rushed in. I told them to leave, but Bella wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry, but I need you all out of here! I yelled.

"NO!" Bella yelled right back. "I'm not leaving him! EDWARD!!!"

And it was as if Bella's voice was the catalyst.

"He's coming back! We're getting him back!"

"EDWARD!" Bella ran over to his side. Then he started to talk.

"Bella. I'm coming." His voice sounded strained and far away.

"I'm here, Edward!" She grabbed his hands, and his fingers slowly circled around hers. His face twisted in pain and his fingers let go of Bella's and his heart rate started to slow down again.

"No, Edward. Please wake up… please don't leave me! Edward please!" Bella started to sob uncontrollably and I was at a loss of what to do. I had done all I can. It was all up to Edward now.

EPOV

I couldn't move. It hurt too much. But I wanted too… oh how I wanted to.

_I'm here, Edward!_

I stood up despite the pain, only to have it push me back down. I felt like giving up. It was too much. I couldn't go on like this. Every step I took closer to life, the more pain I felt. I almost decided to give up. Certainly this pain couldn't be worth it.

_No, Edward. Please wake up… please don't leave me! Edward please! _

Bella… I stood up. I had to do this. I would endure the pain. I would make it back to her. This pain was nothing compared with the pain of hurting Bella.

CPOV

Again, Bella's voice brought him back. I smiled. I knew those two were meant for each other. She held on to him tightly. Everyone had left the room by then. It hurt me, but I had to pry her away.

"Bella, I'm sorry. But you can't be in here."

"I don't want to leave him!"

"You won't be leaving him. I'm sure he'll be fine now."

"But Carlisle…" but her pleas were cut short.

"Bella… Bella…" Edward started to talk and his heart rate was zooming.

"Edward! I'm here! Please open your eyes!"

"Bella…" then his eyes fluttered open.

"Oh Edward! I'm so happy! I thought you were going to leave me!"

"I could never leave you…" his eyes closed again, but his vitals were finally stable. He was going to be fine. He just needed rest now.

EPOV

I ran through the light and the pain was a surging fire one minute and a dull stinging the next. And I couldn't voices anymore. I only heard only, and that was Bella's. She was crying.

"Bella! Bella!" I called to her, to let her know I was coming. I was no longer in the tunnel. I felt pressure… and I could smell Bella next to me.

"Edward! I'm here! Please open your eyes!"

"Bella…" I fought to open my eyes. And there she was, hovering over me like an angel.

"Oh Edward! I'm so happy! I thought you were going to leave me!" I wanted to touch her face, but I felt so weak. I felt as if I had been fighting for a long time.

"I could never leave you…" and then sleep overtook me. It was peaceful. There were no tunnels. There were no lights or voices. Just one image hovered over me… Bella's face. Smiling and waiting for me.

***************

BPOV

It had been four long days and Edward hadn't woken up. Carlisle said he wasn't in a coma or anything. But that it seemed that Edward's body just wanted to shut down for a while. I barely ever left his side.

As for his grandmother… I called Dad and told him the whole story. He was over at her house probably even before hanging up the phone… but she was no where to be found. The house was empty, and Edward's room was completely trashed. Dad had put an alert to all the other stations on the Olympic Peninsula to look out for her. But it seemed that she was gone for good. Or so I'd hoped.

Mom was a big mess about it. It took us hours to convince her Edward wasn't dead. And Esme was probably worse. She was acting like it was her child in there. And for all intents and purposes, it was. Carlisle finally stopped beating himself up about almost losing him, and Alice was still pretty shaken up by that "vision" of hers. She said something about Edward choosing to die.

Emmett had shown his true colors, and Jasper too. They kept me and the girls calm and the situation in order. Alice and Rose were making googly eyes at them all the time.

But my googly eyes were only for Edward. I sat by him as long as I could. Nearly losing him was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I would have gone right behind him. I wouldn't be in a world where he didn't exist. Because I was certain that I loved him. I always have loved him… I love Emmett and Jasper too.

But what I felt for Edward was like Romeo and Juliet love. The world held no joy if he wasn't in it. And I knew that now. He was it for me.

And that's why I stayed by him. I wanted the first words he heard when he awoke to his new free life to be, "I love you, Edward." I had practiced it over and over and over again in my mind. I had it down perfect. Though I was pretty sure it wouldn't go down like that. I would start crying the minute he opened his eyes.

It was about noon on the fourth day… I was in and out of sleep when I heard a weak and far away voice.

"Am I dead?" My head snapped up. He was awake! He was alive!

"Oh Edward!" I was right… I cried.

"Bella?" I sounded like he was straining to speak.

"I'm right here, Edward! Right here! I'm so happy you're okay! So happy!" I went over to him and attempted to hug him without hurting him. He was pretty banged up… his… that woman who raised him… had done quite a number on him.

"Where am I? I remember confronting my… that, and then knocking on your door. And now here I am. This doesn't feel like your bed… it's too small… and too cold."

I giggled. I guess now wasn't a good time to declare my undying love for him. He seemed to be quite loopy from the pain medication.

"You're in the hospital. You've been sleeping for four days. We've been worried about you." I started to play with his hair.

"Really? And where is she?" He asked, his words becoming slightly clearer.

"She ran. But that doesn't matter now. You're here and you're okay. Oh Edward…" I started choking up again. "If you only knew how close you came to dying…"

"Oh but I do," he said looking straight at me. His bright green eyes sparkled at me, and his voice became very serious. "I was in the tunnel and everything. I met my parents. They're both beautiful people, and my father is hilarious. But they made one thing very clear to me." He said and then he smiled at me.

"And what was that?"

"How much I love you, Bella."

My breath caught in my throat. I stopped moving, as if the pause button was hit on the remote that controlled my life. What did he say? Did Edward say…?

"What?" I finally managed to say. He tried to sit up and winced a bit. I started to shake my head at him to tell him to stop… but he gave up and motioned me toward me with his finger. I was mesmerized. We were inches apart and he put his hands on either side of my face.

"I love you, Bella. I mean real love. I love you like Romeo loved Juliet. That's why I fought so hard to come back. I had to come back to you. Bella, I…" And then I started to cry.

"Edward, you messed it up." Then I chuckled a bit through my tears. He still didn't let go of my face.

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to tell you first! You even used my comparison." I was still crying… but from the onslaught of joy.

"Does that mean…"

"I love you too, Edward! I love you like Juliet loved Romeo!" I laughed now.

"Really?" His eyes sparkled now as if I had thrown glitter in them… as if the were really made from Emeralds. I giggled now.

"Only if you really love me."

"I do, Bella! I do love you!" I wasn't prepared for what he did next. He pulled my face the 2 and half inches it was from his and he kissed me!

Forget every good feeling I ever thought I had. Nothing compared to kissing Edward. It was very sweet, but so full of passion and heat I thought my body would explode. I felt his lips move with mine and knew that I belonged with him, that he belonged with me, that we belonged together.

But that was wasn't the only thing it made me feel. It felt so damn _good_! It put all those TV kisses to shame! None of those actresses looked like they could possibly be enjoying it as much as I was. I was feeling things I didn't think could be felt with just one kiss… I felt fireworks going off in very nerve ending in my body. I felt as if my blood was boiling my very veins. I felt like my body wanted to melt into his. I felt stronger and weaker at the same time. I felt as if my heart wanted to fly out from my chest and do cartwheels around the room.

Just from a kiss!

Apparently Edward's was doing the same because his heart monitor started to lose its mind. He laughed and pulled away from me… Leaving me totally stunned in a very happy way.

"It would seem, that my body can't handle you right now." He smiled a half smile at me and I was very glad I wasn't hooked to a heart monitor… but I was sure my face was about every shade of pink that existed.

"Edward…" I was at a loss for words. What could I possibly say to that?

"Bella, will you be my girlfriend?" What did he think I would say? Why was he even asking me?

"Of course I will!" I put my arms around him gently.

"I think I'll be healing a lot sooner now." He said.

"Why would that be?"

"Doesn't love heal it all?"

"Silly Edward…" I said… though I was blushing. "When we will tell the others?"

"Don't have to! We heard the whole thing!" Alice burst through the door with the others pouring in behind her. "And we're so happy!" She sang.

"We saw the whole thing too!" Rosalie said, "And Bells, I had no clue that were that many shades of pink in the world." I blushed again.

"About time you woke up! But what a nice wake up call!" Emmett's voice boomed. They all walked over, congratulating us and telling Edward that was a very bad boy for making us worry for so long. But then Esme rushed in and a path was cleared for her.

"Oh Edward!" She sobbed. "I'm so sorry! I had no idea! I should have seen the clues all these years… How are you? How do you feel?"

"Esme, please don't cry. It's my fault for not telling anyone… for being stupid and keeping my mouth shut. And I'm fine now. I'm going to heal up real quick thanks to my lovely girlfriend." He said with a big smile on his face. I beamed. I was his girlfriend. I wanted to squeal and do a happy dance.

"Girlfriend?" Esme asked, wiping the tears off her face.

"Hi…" I waved meekly. Esme smiled brightly and captured me in a fierce hug.

"Oh it was about time!" She laughed and so did everyone else. Things were going to be okay now, it seemed. Edward was alive and out of danger. And we were together. His world was finally coming together and I would stop at nothing to make sure it never came apart.

**A/N: About time right??? It was getting to me too... and don't worry the others will be getting together soon! Just wanted to thank you all again for lifting my spirits with all your fabulous reviews! I'm so happy that people are enjoying the story... but aside from that... who's happy that Edward and Bella finally got together??? *raises hand***


	14. Visiting Hours

**A/N: Sorry about the delay. I had an uncharacteristically busy weekend! But no excuses... I have awesomeness points... I know. This chapter goes out to _razzledazzle96_ whose personal angry mob is waiting at my door. **

**Disclaimer: According to the angry mob outside... I am really not awesome enough to own Twilight.**

Visiting Hours

EPOV

I was in the hospital for a week after I woke up. I had two broken ribs, head trauma from when she apparently broke an old vase on my head, several deep cuts… most of which needed stitching, a very black eye, cuts in my face, ridiculous amounts of bruising, a fracture in my left leg and internal bleeding.

So yeah… physically I was not functioning. I had also lost a lot of blood. And I found out later the Rosalie rolled up her sleeves and had been my donor. I would hug her that. She didn't know I knew.

I would have gotten out sooner, but I had some sort of break down that I honestly couldn't remember. Alice told me I woke up one night screaming and it took them hours to calm me down again. I knew stuff like that would happen, but it was scary that I couldn't remember anything. So for that, Carlisle kept me a bit longer.

During my hospital stay, I told Esme and Carlisle that I wanted to live with them. Renee and Charlie had hoped I would continue to stay with them. Renee tried to convince me, but a teary Esme convinced her otherwise. Esme always loved me as her son.

So I was released a week before Rosalie and Jasper's birthday party. And Bella was with me no matter what. She was always by my side. And I was afraid that I was starting to become dependant on her. But she was one hell of a drug, my personal brand of heroin. And I didn't want rehab. If Bella was an addiction, then I was a happy addict.

There was something I wanted her to do with me… and just her. It was the day we were leaving the hospital that I asked her.

"Bella, I asked Carlisle if he could…" The words were hard to say.

"If he could what?"

"I wanted to know where my parents are buried… so that I could visit them. I was hoping that you would come with me." I whispered.

"Of course I'll go with you." She smiled.

"Can we go today?" I asked eagerly

"Whenever you want." She giggled.

"Thanks." I looked up at her and smiled.

*****************

The others helped me move into my room at Esme and Carlisle's house. Esme had the room already decorated for me and promised that she would have a big hot meal waiting for me when I got back. Carlisle also said he had a present for me that he was dying to give me. I smiled. They were spoiling me already… I was going to have to get used to that.

We got to the cemetery and the atmosphere was immediately trying to seep into my skin. I felt the desolation and death wrap itself around me, like a snake caressing its meal before the kill. It seemed as if the dead were talking to me. I felt their voices… I felt their deaths… I felt Bella's fingers lace with mine. I looked at her.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly.

"I… all this death, I…" I felt stupid. It was a cemetery. Everything here was supposed to be dead. Good and dead. "Ignore me. It's stupid. I've just never been to a cemetery before."

"Neither have I. It'll be okay. I'm right here with you." We walked together toward the headstones. I was surprised that they were buried right next to each other. We came upon my father's gravestone first. My… that woman obviously had nothing to do with the engraving.

_Here lies Edward Anthony Masen Sr. Wonderful teacher, Beloved husband and adored friend. He was a man before his time who loved as no man ever knew or ever will know how._ I placed my hand on it and crouched down.

"Hey, Dad." I chuckled, suddenly getting choked up.

Bella knelt down beside me. I didn't buy flowers for his grave. He didn't seem the type. Instead, I put an old picture Esme had taken of me back when I was four. I was dirty, covered in mud, sore, and tired. I had a huge grin on my face… just like any other four year old boy would have been if her were covered in mud. I thought he would have liked it. I had it framed and laid it against the headstone. "I thought you might like this. You didn't seem the type for flowers."

Then I moved over to my mother's grave, and the lump in my throat swelled.

"Hi, Mom." My voice cracked, and I felt Bella's fingers tighten around mine. For my mother, I had gotten the biggest, most assorted and most beautiful bouquet of flowers I could find. I laid them down against her headstone. I almost couldn't take it. She was there…dead in the ground… her corpse long gone… because of me.

I started to cry. I was a monster… a child who killed his own mother. Bella let me lean against her. She was crying a little too. I heard her mumble something.

"What?"

"I was just reading her epitaph."

"What does it say?"

"Here lies Sarah Elizabeth Masen. A beautiful and brilliant daughter, a devoted wife and loving mother." She stopped reading and then said to me, "There's something written on it for you." My head snapped up. I followed where Bella's finger was pointing.

It read_: Children are the bridge to heaven so I know where I am. My child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him. You are destined for great things. You will know this world and it will never forget you. Mommy loves you. _

I started to cry and laugh at the same time. My mother was without a doubt the most beautiful spirit the world had ever known. She knew I would feel this way. She knew how I would hate myself. And she left behind words of her unconditional love for me.

"I promise you, mother. I will be worthy of the love you left behind for me. I will be a great person." I cried.

"You have a beautiful spirit. Both of you do," Bella said to them.

"They do," I said to her. "And so do you. Thank you, Bella. You're going to have a lot to put up with."

"It's okay. I think we'll survive." She chuckled slightly.

"No, Bella. I'm done surviving. I've survived for 16 years. I've endured for far to long. I want to live. I want to grab life and I want to live it."

BPOV

Edward was a bit of a wreck after we left the cemetery. He cried for hours and then fell asleep. I was glad he had gone to live with Esme and Carlisle. And I was even more glad to be his girlfriend! But I knew it would be tough for him. And we would all need to be there for him. I would always be there for him.

"Oh Esme, I'm worried about him." I said as I sat with Esme in her kitchen.

"I am too, sweetie. But he'll be fine. He just needs a loving and caring atmosphere."

"He'll be sure to get that with you around." I smiled.

"I plan to make up for all those years he suffered. I've always loved him like my own. I'm so happy that he's here that I don't know what to do with myself." She giggled. She was so cute.

"What did Carlisle say about Edward? You know, about the breakdowns and stuff?

"Well, sweetie… Carlisle can't predict them. All he knows is that Edward will have them. And that Edward may need to go through some kind of therapy to get through this all. But I don't think therapy will be necessary. He has a family now. He has me and Carlisle, and your parents, Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett and you." She smiled at me. "I'm so happy the two of you are together. It warms my heart. It lets me know that Edward is going to be okay."

I sighed happily in spite of myself… I was with Edward… Bella and Edward… Edward and Bella… it sounded so nice. As if our names were meant to be said that way.

"I'm happy too…" I was sure I had a big goofy smile painted on my face.

"You two are adorable together." She winked at me and I was sure I blushed.

"I'm going to go up to check on him." I got up and went upstairs to Edward's room. Esme and Carlisle always had a room for him there and now it was actually his room. I slowly pushed the door open so I wouldn't wake him. I peeked in and saw the he was still in bed. I crept over to him. He was squirming around and his forehead was shimmering with sweat, but his whole body was shivering.

"Edward." I shook him lightly. His body was still sore and bruised. "Edward, wake up." Suddenly, his eyes flew open and he stopped moving… he was just laying there… his eyes wide open. They looked like to heavy orbs of green steel… lifeless and dark. Then he turned over to look at me, and his eyes brightened back to the shiny emerald green they're supposed to be.

"Bella…" he said. "Why do you look so scared?" He sat up.

"You were the one that was afraid. You were shivering and sweating all over. Were you having a nightmare or something?" I sat next to him.

"Yes, actually. But I feel fine now. You woke me up just in time."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I started to run my fingers through his hair.

"Not particularly, no. I want to go back to sleep." He yawned.

"Okay, I'll go so you can sleep." I started to get up and Edward quickly grabbed my arm.

"No!" I turned to look at him, and saw incomprehensible fear in his eyes.

"Edward…" I started to ask him what he was so afraid of, but he cut me off.

"Please stay with me." His eyes darkened back into the heavy steel green I saw when he woke up.

"Are you all right?"

"No…" he sounded broken… I sat with him on the bed. He was still holding my arm.

"Is it because of the nightmare?"

"It is. But I really don't want to talk about it now. Please stay with me… at least until I fall back to sleep?" His voice was off… he sounded terrified.

"Okay. But you're going to need to tell what's scaring you."

He hesitated. His body suddenly went rigid, and his eyes glazed over.

"All right. I was dreaming about the day I was born. I saw my mother as she was in labor. I saw my father in the operating room. I saw the doctors… I saw me as a baby. And suddenly people started getting killed. First all of the doctors… then my father… then my mother… then just about the baby was going to be slaughtered whoever it was looked into a mirror. And it was me… I was killing everybody, and I was enjoying it. You woke up me before I was able to…"

"Oh, Edward… I'm sorry." I threw my arms around him. I felt his body relax and then he wrapped his arms around me. He didn't cry.

"What if I become like that one day?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"I won't let you." I pulled away from him a bit and stared into his hardened frightened eyes. "I'm here for you. I won't let you do anything stupid." He smiled and his eyes started to go back to normal.

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course."

We lay down together on his huge plush bed. It didn't take long before he fell asleep. There was no fear in his face. A small smile played on his lips. I continued to play with his hair.

"I love you, Edward." I said to him, knowing he couldn't hear me. I stared at him thinking about how gorgeous he was. His creamy pale skin, his messy, thick but oh so soft bronze hair, the perfect curves of his face… and his beautiful bright green eyes. And because I was pressed up against him, I could feel the hard lines of his body. And all this was _mine_.

I started to fall asleep after a while. Right before sleep took me, I would swear forever that Edward was humming. It wasn't anything I'd ever heard before. And as my eyes were closing, I'm positive I saw his eyes open… sparkling and bright.

**A/N: I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter... It's a transition chapter so it was hard to get through. But the next chapter will be fun! I hope you like costume parties!!!!**


	15. Happy Birthday

**A/N: I love my reviewers! One of from 100 reviews??? I am LOVING it! And so here we go everyone! This chapter goes out to _Adria AKA Emmett'sBaybyMomma_ who has been harassing me at work everyday to get this chapter posted. It's the longest one yet! I hope you all like it!**

**Disclaimer: *checks awesomeness rating* Damn! What's a girl to do to be awesome enough to own Twilight around here? Oh yeah... I don't own the Backstreet Boys either. You'll see why.**

Happy Birthday

EPOV

It was the day of Rosalie and Jasper's birthday party. Esme and Carlisle had transformed their home into some kind of themed nightclub. It was insane!

I woke up feeling okay. Bella hadn't slept over, and I didn't sleep well thinking about her not being there… yup. Definitely hooked on Bella… she didn't sleep over as much because she was still going to school. I, of course, had been medically excused for a while. I followed the smell of breakfast downstairs. Esme was up.

"Good morning, honey!" She greeted me happily as I walked into the kitchen… the kitchen in _my_ house. She came over to me and kissed me gently on the forehead. It was a gesture I loved though it made me feel four again.

"Good morning, indeed." I answered giving her an overly dramatic smile. She loved when I played around with her. She laughed.

"Are you hungry?" She asked. I smelled the air around me. Nothing should be allowed to smell that good.

"I am now!" She piled mountains of food on my plate. She was awesome. I was already shoveling food in my mouth when Carlisle walked in to join us. He had taken the day off for the party and decided to celebrate by sleeping in, a luxury he rarely enjoys.

"Good morning, Esme." He gave her a quick kiss and then ruffled my hair as he sat down next to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." I managed to say in between bites of food.

"Esme, he going to gain fifty pounds by the end of the school year if you keep feeding him like this." Carlisle playfully reprimanded her.

"Good! He's so thin!" She looked at me tenderly. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Nope." I said in between more bites of food.

"Ha. See? He likes it!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I thought Edward was the child here." Carlisle laughed.

I froze. But not from fear or sadness… it was joy. I was frozen with the terrible joy of this moment. This was the happy morning I had always longed for. Very near to the wonderful dream I had seemingly so many years ago. I would have cried from the joy but that would have destroyed the moment. And I've been crying too much lately. Esme and Carlisle noticed my expression.

"Honey, are you all right?" I smiled. She called me honey.

"I'm fine. I feel very…happy." She beamed at me. Carlisle pushed my shoulder playfully.

"That's the plan." He said. "Now, go ahead and help Esme set up for the party."

"There's more?" I asked. "The place already looks like a club! How many people are coming?"

"Well…" Esme started, "I kind of invited the whole school… so technically the whole town is going to be here. I have to make sure the caterers get here on time… the entertainment… the DJ. There's lots to do Edward!" She chimed happily. I shook my head.

"All right then! Oh wait! I don't have a costume."

"Oh yes you do…"

********

Five hours later, the house was completely unrecognizable and I was dressed in my costume… a vampire. I had on regular dress pants, a button down shirt… I had left a few of the top buttons undone for a sexier effect. I long flowing velvet cape, not the cheap costumey kind. Esme had done my makeup… not that I needed much. I was already as white as snow. Though she did rim my eyes in heavy liner. The finishing touches were very real looking fangs. I had to admit, as I looked in the mirror… I was a pretty hot vampire. I wondered what Bella would think.

Esme was dressed as Snow White and Carlisle was Prince Charming. It suited them perfectly. The guests started to arrive and Esme was right. The whole town was there. Charlie and Renee were dressed like mobsters. It was hilarious. Charlie even had a money boa. Emmett and Alice arrived together and they were dressed like prison inmates. But again, it wasn't the cheap costume you'd find in Wal-Mart or something. These things looked authentic. It was odd that they decided to match. I wondered why. But none of that mattered when the brunette vampire walked in. She was elegant, classy and illegally beautiful. Her long dark hair flowed in soft curls to the middle of her back, and her pale face accentuated her red red lips. And she was all mine.

"It's a shame you aren't human." I said coming up behind her. She gasped slightly and giggled when she saw that we matched.

"And why would that be?"

"Because I'm sure you would have been very tasty." I said right into her ear. God, I hoped it sound didn't stupid. I'd never tried to be sexy before. It seemed to have worked because she blushed a bit.

"Well you'll just have to settle for a vampire." She said sounding a bit flustered. I swore I saw her shiver a bit.

"I think I'll be fine." I took her arm and joined the party.

BPOV

Edward had been dressed as a vampire too. I almost suggested he make the look permanent because he looked so good in it. I would have been blind to not notice how… sexy he looked. But that was nothing compared to him openly trying to… to _seduce_ me.

"It's a shame you aren't human," I heard a sensual voice say from behind me. I turned to see a very hot vampire behind me. I fought to speak.

"And why would that be?" I asked when I was able to gain composure.

He leaned in close to me and said in low sexy voice right into my ear,

"Because I'm sure you would have been very tasty." That almost did it. In the name of all that was sweet and good, I would make sure to make him talk like that again! But how did I respond? What would I say?

"Well you'll just have to settle for a vampire," I said letting the first coherent words that would form escape my mouth. I shivered, but not because I was cold… quite the opposite.

"I think I'll live."

I decided I needed to change the subject. I _had _noticed something odd when I walked in…

"Why did Emmett and Alice dress alike?" I shouted over the party.

"I'm not sure. They must be planning something." He shouted back. Then they came to join us.

"Hot damn… the undead have come out to play." Emmett said.

"Careful, Em. They might suck your blood." Alice giggled.

"What prison did you just bust out of?" I asked. They ignored my question.

"Have you seen Rose and Jazz?" They asked together.

"Not yet." At that exact moment, the music stopped and our attention was drawn to a small raised platform.

"Good evening everyone and thank you all for coming!" Carlisle said to the crowd. "Now, as you know, I have thrown this party to celebrate two children very dear to me. I love them tremendously and wanted to be sure they knew it. Without further ado, I present the guests of honor, Rosalie and Jasper Hale!" Everyone applauded. Rose stepped out from behind him first. She was dressed like a… well like a rose. It was so her. The dress was a form fitting dark green with matching elbow length gloves. The neckline ruffled out to look like rose petals. It sparkled and shimmered as she moved.

Jasper was dressed like a soldier. It looked like a real uniform. The scary thing about it was who well it suited him. It was almost as if he was born for war.

I wasn't surprised at all that weren't dressed alike. I don't think that anyone that knew them would be. They really were the worst twins ever. They came over to us.

"Rose, you look great!" I shouted. "Happy Birthday!" I threw arms around her waist. And I mean literally. Rose was already taller than me and now she was in six inch stilettos. "You too, Jazz!" And again, I threw my arms up to hug him.

There was a chorus of happy birthdays from the rest of us.

"Dude, going to war?" Emmett asked.

"Isn't cool?" Jasper enthused.

"Hell yeah!"

"Hell no!" The girls and I said together. Edward laughed.

"Well look at you two. All dressed alike and looking sexy." Rosalie said teasingly. I blushed.

"Love is in the air…" Alice started to sing. I blushed again.

"You're damn right love is in the air," Edward said surprising me. "Now if you all excuse me, I'm going to passionately kiss my girlfriend in front of everybody…so if you don't mind," he trailed off, his face leaning toward mine. I could feel the heat in face, but couldn't make the move to stop him. _KISS ME KISS ME!!! _

"All right, all right!" Emmett said, his laughter shaking the floor beneath us.

"Let's go dance!" Rosalie said. The six of us formed our own mini-circle on the dance floor. I really didn't want to dance. I would fall flat on my face. But Edward assured me that he wouldn't let me go. And I welcomed any situation that would place his hands on me. We danced to all of Rosalie and Jasper's favorite songs because Carlisle had someone managed to get their favorite artists to perform at their party. And what artists didn't come were covered by the DJ. And because they were the worst twins ever, their taste in music was ridiculously diverse. Not that we minded at all. We had grown so used to it over the past 12 years.

Soon it was time to open gifts. Carlisle and Esme had gotten Rosalie a red BMW and Jasper a new silver motorcycle. Needless to say, they flipped out. Most of the other presents were small and non-descript. They had asked me to cook for them as my present. And Edward had written and performed a song for them. It sounded like two chickens fighting. It was perfect for them. The melody was fast and hyper in some parts, and then dark and brooding in others. And then they would clash trying to beat out the other… but oddly they flowed perfectly together. When we asked him what the name of the song was, he smiled and said, "Two Chickens Fighting."

But when Emmett and Alice went up to present their gifts, they were empty handed.

"Tonight, Alice and I have dressed alike to your party." Emmett began.

"Yes, as we can clearly see." Jasper said.

"But as you know, there is always some rhyme or reason to what I do." Alice continued.

"Yes! And tonight, Rosalie…"

"And Jasper…"

"We come to you as prisoners." They said together and fell to their knees. What were they doing? I looked over to Edward and he was just as confused as I was.

"Prisoners?" Rose was confused too.

"Yes. Rosalie, for your birthday… I give myself to you." Emmett said dramatically.

"And Jasper, for you birthday, I give myself to you." Alice chimed.

"As prisoners?" Jasper said, confusion his only emotion.

"Yes," Emmett and Alice said together. "As prisoners of love!" I gasped… and then I started to bounce up and down and giggle.

"Jasper Hale, you are the only man that will ever truly understand me. And I know we belong together. And damn it, I've been waiting for you to ask me for the longest time! You've kept me waiting too long! So here I am. Happy birthday, Jasper! With love, your new girlfriend, Alice!" She leapt up and he caught her bridal style in his arms. He looked dumbstruck for a good minute and then a big grin took over his face.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." And then he leaned down and kissed her. I jumped up and down and squealed. Edward was applauded loudly and cheering. I looked over to Rose, who was squealing too. Emmett took her hand. She stopped and looked at him, her eyes went wide.

"Rose Lily Hale, that still leaves you gift. And you better take me." He smiled. She smiled back.

"And why do I have to take you?" She challenged.

"Because I don't come with a gift receipt." And with that, he swept her up into his arms and kissed her fully on the lips. I was jumping up and down. The crowd went wild, cheering and applauding. Edward was laughing out loud. They finally separated.

"Emmett!" Edward called. "That was incredibly smooth! What movie did you get that from?"

Emmett snorted.

"Dude, I'm Emmett. Movies get things from me. But this whole thing was Alice's idea."

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yeah… I always knew we'd pair off, I saw it everyday… and with all that's been happening recently, what with you and Edward getting together, it just felt like that right time!" She sighed happily, clinging to Jasper's arm. He smiled down at her.

"It's perfect!" Rosalie said. "It's the best gift ever." She sighed happily too, and snuggled against Emmett's arm. I pouted, feeling left out. So I started snuggling against Edward's arm.

"Not that I mind… but is there any reason why you're suddenly snuggling with me?" He asked, sounding a bit smug. I smiled.

"Well… they were all snuggling… and I want to snuggle…"

"You're adorable." And he kissed the top of me head. And of course, I blushed. Then there was a bright flash from about 3 cameras.

"This is so cute!" I heard Renee's voice.

"I know!" Esme squealed somewhere close to her.

A song started to play and Rose, Alice and I screamed,

"I love this song!" In perfect unison. We giggled as we dragged our men to the dance floor. Yes… even me. The song was perfect for how we all felt in that instant.

RPOV

MINE!!!! ALL MINE!!! There could be no person giddier than me on the whole planet right now! Edward was okay, he and Bella finally got together, he was safe, it was my birthday, Alice and Jasper finally got together, I looked gorgeous, and I was pressed against the chest of MY NEW BOYFRIEND!!!!! I mean asking for much more than that was just plain selfish! I sighed happily and looked up at Emmett's face. He was smiling at me, his face unusually tender.

His smile was so… it was so… it was… Wow. He looked at me like he couldn't see anyone else, like he didn't want to see anyone else. Neither did I. This was it. I knew the rest of my life was smiling at me. Dancing with me. I was never one of those overly romantic girls. The girls who started naming babies and picking furniture and color schemes with their brand new boyfriends that they barely knew, I was never one of those. But Emmett knew me. I didn't have a memory he wasn't in.

"Oh Emmett…" I sighed again and laid my head back against him. Oh happy birthday, Rosalie!

JPOV

There weren't words. I couldn't force myself to form them. To try to put words to the overwhelming joy that radiated from the people at the party was hard enough. To attempt to describe the immeasurable exhilaration that came from Edward and Bella was nearly impossible. And the sheer and utter glee coming from Rose and Emmett was just as hard. But I could do it. I could find words if I had to.

But to try and put words to the beautifully simple bliss that Alice and I were having had to have been a crime somewhere. Because I wasn't feeling this. She wasn't feeling this. We were having this emotion. It was our emotion… together. And I would explode from it if someone asked me just how happy I was. No word in any language could even begin to encompass that.

I looked at Alice… MY Alice. She looked at me up and smiled. I smiled back. We didn't need words. She could _see_ my happiness, and I could _feel_ hers. I sighed and pulled her closer.

Happy birthday, Jasper. Happy birthday, indeed.

EPOV

I laughed as Bella dragged me to the dance floor. It was unlike her… but she was eager and I couldn't deny her anything. It had been a long time since I had heard the particular song she and the girls were so happy about… but it had a totally different meaning. It was perfect. I had never been a fan of the Backstreet Boys… but they knew what they were talking about.

_Remember when, we never needed each other_

_The best of friends like_

_Sister and Brother_

_We understood, we'd never be,_

_Alone_

This was the exact way I felt about Bella. I never needed Bella because she was always there for me, always near me. I looked down at her. She was pressed close to me. Her eyes were closed and her lips were smiling. I heard her sigh happily. I held her closer to me.

_Those days are gone, and I want you so much_

_The night is long and I need your touch_

_Don't know what to say_

_I never meant to feel this way_

_Don't want to be_

_Alone tonight_

I stole a look at Alice and Jasper. They weren't even moving. She was staring up at him, and that was a long way up. Anyone who didn't know them the way we did would doom that relationship to failure. There were so many that didn't quite match about them. But they belonged together. Each was the perfect compliment for the other.

_What can I do, to make you mine_

_Falling so hard so fast this time_

_What did I say, what did you do?_

_How did I fall in love with you?_

_I hear your voice_

_And I start to tremble_

_Brings back the child that, I resemble_

I looked back down to Bella. Meeting her was one of the most vivid memories I had, and one of my favorites. I always knew she'd be important to me. She looked at me.

"Are you happy?" She asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her back. At that moment, it was hard to believe I could be unhappy. All of the horrible things that happened to me all seemed like a cruel nightmare.

_I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends_

_Don't want to be,_

_Alone tonight_

_What can I do, to make you mine_

_Falling so hard so fast this time_

_What did I say, what did you do?_

_How did I fall in love with you?_

I looked over to Rose and Emmett. They were another perfect match. There wasn't any need for an explanation for those two. He was made for her. She was made for him. Plain and simple. I was surprised that they hadn't been together since we were kids.

_Oh I want to say this right_

_And it has to be tonight_

_Just need you to know, oh yeah_

_I don't want to live this life_

_I don't want to say goodbye_

_With you I wanna spend_

_The rest of my life_

Bella was it for me. I knew that. No one would ever mean what she did. And I hoped that I could be strong for her. I hoped that I could fight the demons in head and my soul and not have to involve her. I didn't want to hurt her. I would suffer one thousand eternities if it meant she didn't have to suffer for half a millisecond. I needed to be strong for her. She's always been so strong for me.

_What can I do, to make you mine_

_Falling so hard so fast this time_

_What did I say, what did you do?_

_How did I fall in love with you?_

_What can I do, to make you mine_

_Falling so hard so fast this time_

_Everything's changed, we never knew_

_How did I fall, in love, with you?_

I held her even after the song was over. And I didn't feel like she minded. The others didn't move either.

"I love you, Bella." I murmured. I heard other murmurs of love from around me. Rosalie gasped and I heard Alice start to cry.

I saw the world in Bella's brown eyes as she looked up into mine. I saw the man I would be someday. I saw that I would make it, as long as she always looked at me that way.

"I love you too, Edward."

"I am so damn happy!" Rose screamed.

"Me too!" Screamed a teary Alice.

"Me three!" Bella giggled, still looking right at me. The three of them ran towards each other and started jumping up and down and squealing and just having a general display of girlie joy. It was cute. I felt a big hand on my shoulder.

"Wow, man. I feel like I've been reborn or something. I feel brand new." Emmett said.

"Tell me about it." Jasper said from my other side.

"Somewhere, it's illegal to this feel this good." I said.

"Well, I'm damn glad we're not there. Because I plan to feel this way for a very long time." Emmett said.

"I hope I can, Em. I sure hope I can."

**A/N: So I'm passed the 100 page mark with this story. That's like a review per page! hahahaha! Well I hope all enjoyed this chapter. The first part of the story was so emotionally charged. These fluffy chapters are like a buffer. So next we're going to jump ahead a bit. Not too much. Thanks so much you guys. REVIEW PLEASE! REVIEWS=LOVE!!!!!!!**


	16. Whispers

**A/N: 100 reviews!!!!! YAY!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!! This chapter goes out to all my wonderful reviewers!!! You're all amazing!!!**

**Disclaimer: I'm still not awesome to own Twilight... Stephenie Meyer and I just aren't cool like that.**

Whispers

EPOV

Oh how I wished the happiness of the party had lasted me until today. I had tried to put it off for as long as I could… but I had to go back to school. I wasn't ready for that. I knew I wasn't. Something would go wrong.

I turned over in bed to see my alarm clock. 4:00. It was 4 in the morning. Maybe I could be a zombie all day in school. That would help me get through it. Though Charlie had done his best, the story about what happened leaked all over town. It was on the news and everything. So of course the whole school knew. They would ask me questions… tell me they felt sorry for me. They would treat me like a charity case, which in all honesty I was. But I did not want to be treated that way. I didn't want anyone's pity. I wanted them to leave me and the demons in my head alone.

I felt Bella stir beside me. She had slept over to make me feel better. I stroked her face gently and she smiled in her sleep. And that smile almost made me believe I could get through this first day of school without losing my mind. Key word: almost.

It would be funny though to see everyone's reactions when we (and by we I meant the six of us) walked into school perfectly paired off. It was a small thing to look forward. And I clung onto it like a hungry monkey to the last banana on the tree.

I looked at the clock again. 4:03.

"Are you kidding me? I asked loudly. Bella woke up. I kicked myself.

"Hmm? Are you okay?" She asked.

"Sorry. I'm fine. I can't sleep." I said. "Go back to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"Don't be silly." Her hand automatically went to my hair. She started stroking my hair and running her fingers through it…the way she always did when she knew I was frustrated.

"That feels nice." I said. Sleep finally found me. My last thought before I drifted was: _Please don't let me kill anyone today._

BPOV

"Edward… time to get up." I shook him. He shook his head no.

"I can't, Bella. I can't go."

"Yes you can."

"All right…maybe I can. But it doesn't mean I will." He locked his arms around my waist and pulled me on top of him. But it was obvious he wasn't in a playful mood. He just held me there staring at me. His eyes were like that dark steel green again. He was afraid.

"Edward…" I whispered, bringing my hands to his face, "You have to go."

"But Bella I…" I cut him off with a short kiss.

"Don't 'But Bella' me. You have to go and you know this. You won't be alone today. There is always one of us in your classes, and we all have Esme's class together."

"They'll say things… they'll be talking about me all day. I'm not sure how'll react to all of this. Normally I wouldn't care, but…" another kiss. I decided I'd play with him a little to get him in a better mood.

"They already talk about you." I said teasingly. His eyes lightened up a bit. I could tell he knew I was messing with him.

"And what have they been saying?" He raised one eyebrow at me.

"Nothing really. It's mostly the girls going on and on about how hot you are. I guess that AXE stuff really does work." He laughed. "Now let's get ready to go." I pulled up from him.

"I know you can't promise me that everything's going to be okay…"

"But I can promise you that no matter what happens I will be right there with you."

The look on his face almost broke my heart. He was so afraid. But if you asked me who he was afraid for, I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure if he was afraid for himself or for everyone else.

EPOV

The others met us in the front of the school. Alice was leaning against Jasper, with his arms around her. And Emmett had his arm around Rosalie's waist. Bella and I came up strolling to them hand in hand.

"I feel like a king!" Emmett said as we approached. "All the guys in school are looking at us as if we betrayed them some how. It's priceless!" He laughed. I smiled. It was easy to feel okay right then. It was just me and them. The day so far was normal.

"How so?" Bella asked him.

"Well think about it, Bells. We were always just the best friend to you girls. We were the big brothers. So that made them think they had a shot."

"And now we're the boyfriends." Jasper smiled proudly.

"Like they ever had a chance anyway." Alice said.

"I LOVE IT!" Emmett boomed. Rose smiled at him and pushed his shoulder.

"Stop that, would you?" She teased.

"Hey, if you've got it flaunt it." He said pulling Rose closer to him.

I laughed. Maybe I had been wrong to overreact. Maybe today was going to be fine. Maybe nothing would go wrong. The bell rang and we started to file inside.

"Let's get this over with." I sighed. Maybe I would be okay. As I walking in, someone pushed hard against me. "Hey, watch you're going." I said harshly.

"Oh I'm sorry," it was Mike Newton. "I didn't think you'd feel that what with you getting your ass handed to you on a daily basis." He laughed and continued going inside. Yeah sure… I was going to be just fine.

************

No one really bothered me much during classes. I did get a lot of stares in the hallway, but I was expecting that. I'd been hearing whispers and seeing fingers pointed at me all day. More than once, I had to fight off the insane urge to just punch someone in the face. Emmett literally had to hold me back when a bunch of people were talking about having me institutionalized. Maybe they were right. Maybe I was crazy.

It went on all day. There was always a finger; there was always a voice; there was always a laugh. Sometimes people would tell me how sorry they were. The worse thing about that was that I knew no one really meant it. I heard so many say I was dangerous. During Biology, I was seriously contemplating throwing a glass beaker across the room to shut someone people up. I was never so violent. But I wanted to hurt them. If they knew even a teensy bit of what I suffered, maybe they'd leave me alone. There was always someone in class with me to make sure I didn't lose it. But that didn't make me feel any better at all. I felt like a baby… a baby holding a stick of dynamite.

I was on my way to lunch. Alice was walking with me. It was right after Gym. One of the girls that had class with us, Angela, caught up to me at the entrance of the cafeteria.

"Hi, Edward. Hi, Alice." She said shyly.

"Hello, Angela." We said together. I could tell what Angela was thinking. She wanted to tell me she was sorry without making me think that she felt sorry for me. How nice of her. She was very sweet.

"I… well… Edward, what happened to you was a terrible thing. And I'm glad you're okay." She said. Alice smiled. Angela was a gem. She said the perfect words. She hadn't said the word sorry at all.

"Thank you," I said genuinely smiling at her. She smiled, obviously pleased that she hadn't offended me and joined her friends.

Why did we sit in the back again? Our regular table was in the back of the cafeteria and I would have to walk past everyone to get there. Great. Alice put her tiny hand on my back.

"Just don't look to the sides and walk straight." She said.

"I'll try." We started to walk through the cafeteria. And in an instant I knew that they were all talking about me. Because as soon as I would pass them, they would shut up. I felt hundreds of pairs of eyes burn holes through my skin. They saw every cut, every gash, every bruise, every plea. Then they would go straight into my soul and see all my grief, all my turmoil. They all knew how much I hated myself. They knew which scars were mine and why. They knew that my mother died because she wanted me to live… but that didn't make me any less of a murderer in their eyes. Some eyes stared at me in fear. Some eyes stared at me in contempt. Other eyes stared at me at me in disbelief. Some eyes laughed at me and some looked at me with pity.

I looked across the lunch room and saw the others waiting for me. In their eyes I saw nothing unfamiliar, but nothing unwelcoming. _Hurry up so we can eat. _Emmett's eyes said. And as Alice's tiny hand pushed me forward, I saw the only pair of eyes that really mattered. Bella's big brown eyes were the only pair that I should care about. They said, _Edward, come sit with me. Edward, I love you._ She smiled at me.

The trek across the cafeteria became insufferably long. It would take me the whole period to get there.

BPOV

I saw Edward and Alice as they came in the cafeteria. Angela must have said something nice to him because I saw him smile.

"How has he been?" Jasper asked.

"He almost threw a beaker across the room in Biology." I sighed.

"Why?" Rose asked.

"People in the back were saying some stupid things."

"Damn." Emmett said. "Why are people so stupid? He's not a zoo exhibit. He's a person that's been through some deep shit."

"If only the whole world thought like you, Em." I said sadly. It suddenly got very silent. Oh… Edward was walking towards us. Why did we sit in the back again? He was walking to us normally with Alice's hand on his back. He looked right at me and I smiled at him. But I could tell how uncomfortable he was. But he didn't walk any slower. His head wasn't down. That made me feel better. I was worried that these ignorant people would make him think less of himself. But he seemed to be okay.

"So sorry to hear about what happened to you, Masen." Oh no… Mike was an idiot.

"Thanks. Now leave me alone." Edward said tersely. But Mike wasn't done yet.

"Such a sad thing to have your life turned upside down like that."

"Move aside."

"And to be _abused _like that…that's rough man." Mike didn't sound like he cared at all. In fact it sounded like he was trying to provoke Edward.

"Leave him alone, Mike." Alice said. Mike laughed.

"Damn, dude! That left you so messed up in the head that you need Alice to defend you? Wow. Those must have been some serious beat downs to have fucked you up like that. You go to therapy now for all of that?"

"Leave me the hell alone." Edward said through his teeth. I stood to get to him, to lead him away from Mike… but what happened next happened in slow motion.

"I'm just concerned. Why I'll bet you've been crying like a baby… just like a little baby." Mike put his hand on Edward's shoulder.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" None of us could get there in time. Edward's fist connected with Mike's face. Mike went sailing into one of the lunch tables.

"Edward!" I screamed. I ran to get to him… but Mike lunged back at him… just as I got to Edward…

EPOV

"I'm just concerned. Why I'll bet you've been crying like a baby…" Newton jeered at me. It was taking everything I had not to deck him in the face. And I didn't have much. "Just like a little baby." Then he put his hand of my shoulder. It was over.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted. My fist made contact with his face and there was satisfying crunch sound. Good. I instantly felt better. Now maybe I could eat lunch in peace. Bella was coming toward me and just as she was getting to me, Newton came at me and hit Bella instead.

I saw red. I heard red. Everything was red. I felt like my blood was too hot for my body and it wanted to erupt like a volcano. I felt my hands making contact with something. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted nothing more than to make him suffer. I couldn't even remember why anymore. I just knew he needed to hurt. I knew he needed to hate himself. He needed to feel worthless and pathetic. He needed scars to match mine. He needed to cry. Like me. Just like me. He needed to die.

**************

I woke later to a splitting headache and a hospital room. What happened? My body felt weak and I felt the unmistakable twinge of new bruises starting to form. Why was I here?

I went back in my memory… I went to school and…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no.

I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember anything. Not a damn thing.

I sat up quickly. No one was in the room with me. What had I done? What did I do? Did I hurt anyone? Why couldn't I remember anything?

I started to hyperventilate. And I felt my body start to tremble. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell for someone. Anyone.

Suddenly Alice burst into the room.

"Edward! Edward!" Her voice sounded far away even though she was right in front of me. I wanted to say something back to her… but my body wouldn't let me. I felt rigid. I felt cold. "Edward, say something! Can you hear me?" I wanted to say yes; I tried to say yes. But the earthquakes in my body said no. My body wouldn't respond to me. I tried to open my mouth… I managed to look at her. "Oh my God… he's going into shock. He's going into shock!" She shook me. More tremors ran through my body. I felt weak… Alice was blurring out of my vision…

"CARLISLE!!!! CARLISLE!!!!" She shouted over her shoulder. She kept her hands on my shoulders and held me up. "Stay with me, Edward! Stay with me! Look at me! Don't take you eyes off of my face!" I wanted to tell her to let me go. I felt so weak though my body was violently shaking. But I would do what she said. Alice was never wrong.

After a few seconds, Carlisle ran into the room.

"Alice, I heard you screaming…"

"He's going into shock! He can't talk to me… I'm not even sure he can hear me!" _I can hear you, Alice! I can hear you! Where is Bella? Why am I here?_ _What did I do?_ But none of those questions came out of my mouth… the weakness took over, the shaking stopped… I tried to say something…

"What did I do?" I heard someone that sounded a lot like me say… but I never found out who it was…

BPOV

Mike punched me in the back as I unknowingly got in between him and Edward. I got punched pretty hard in back, right where Edward's chest would have received the blow. It hurt pretty bad and I was sure it would leave an impressive bruise. But none of that mattered.

Edward stepped around me and flew at Mike like a wild predator.

"Edward! Edward no!" I screamed.

Emmett and Jasper flew past me. Edward had only gotten a few punches to Mike when Emmett was able to pull him off. Jasper pulled Mike away.

"Edward! Bro! Listen to me! She's okay!" Emmett tried futilely to get through to Edward. But Edward couldn't hear us anymore. He was screaming…

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" He shouted at Mike. He was trying to force his way out of Emmett's grip. Thank God Emmett was so strong.

"He's fucking crazy!" Mike shouted.

"Shut the hell up! He told you to leave him alone! You did this!"

Jasper said. Edward was thrashing about while Emmett held him. I doubted he could see us anymore. He was screaming, saying things that tore my heart apart. Alice got her phone out.

"Carlisle, you need to get to the school…. Yes…. Yes…. Yes. Okay. Hurry!" She hung up. "Carlisle is coming here. Let's get him away from everyone." I saw Jasper give Mike a quick shove as he followed us outside.

Emmett shook Edward.

"Edward! EDWARD!" Emmett shouted, still holding him.

Edward was still screaming and thrashing around. I was so afraid… not of him. But for him. He would hate himself for this later.

"I'M GONNA TEAR YOU APART! YOU'LL SUFFER JUST LIKE ME!"

"Edward, please hear me!" I cried, heavy sobs running from my eyes. I held his face. His beautiful green eyes were nearly black with fury… "Edward," I sobbed, "Edward… please say something to me…" Nothing. Edward was gone… he was lost in his rage. "Come back to me, Edward. Come back to me! Please come back to me!" Edward stopped screaming and his unfocused eyes starting searching for my voice.

"Bella?" He asked in a half crazed voice.

"I'm right here. I'm right here with you." I bawled.

"Don't leave me…" He said, still not seeing me.

"Never…" I whispered. He collapsed into me right as Carlisle arrived.

*****************

"This is my fault!" Esme cried in the waiting room. "I should have told Carlisle he wasn't ready!" Jasper wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"No, Esme. This was no one's fault. We couldn't have known this was going to happen." He said. I was nearly certain I saw Alice fidget a bit in her seat.

"It is! Now he'll want to go back to school and he'll never be happy! I've failed him!" She sobbed openly now. I could see the strain in jasper's face to stay calm. We've never Esme cry. It was a hard thing to watch. Carlisle assured that Edward was past the worst of it. He would be fine once he woke up. Well it had been four hours and Edward was still sleeping. I was worried about him. What could I to possibly make him better?

The waiting room was unhappy place. Rose and Emmett hadn't spoken a word since we had gotten there. Jasper's whispers and Esme's sobs filled the space. Alice would gasp and twitch every so often. I was coming in and out of sleep. When I closed my eyes I would see Edward's face warped and twisted with rage, sadness and fear. He would hate himself for this. And I didn't know what to do…

I was lightly sleeping when I heard get up and make a mad dash towards Edward's room. A few seconds later I heard her frantic screaming.

"CARLISLE!! CARLISLE!" I snapped up. I ran up towards the room, but Carlisle was there in a few seconds. I made the move to go in with him.

"No, Bella. Please stay out here." He said using his doctor voice. I froze in my tracks. Emmett came up beside me. I heard Esme cry louder. I heard someone punch a wall.

"Em…" I squeaked looking up at him. He put his arm around me and led me back to the chairs. He sat me down and sat beside me. He patted his arm. I leaned against him. "What do you think…?"

"Shhh…" he soothed me. "I'm scared too. But we need to wait." He said with undiluted fury in his voice. So that's why he was silent. He was angry. But at who? Rose looked up… she had black lines running down her face. She was going to need to invest in some water proof mascara. Though it was only about two minutes, every second lasted a thousand eternities. Carlisle finally came out of Edward's room. His face was pale and fear played with his features. Alice came out behind him.

I ran up to him.

"What? What is it? What's wrong with him?" I asked frantically.

"He'll be fine." Was he all he said to me. "Esme, come with me." He said softly. She got up slowly and left with him. I looked to Alice.

"He woke up and started going into shock." She said quietly.

"How did you know to go in there?" Rose asked, the first thing she said since we'd gotten here.

"I _saw_ him waking up and… and losing it again." She winced a bit.

"And?" I asked impatiently.

"He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember any of it."

Oh Lord.

**A/N: Yes, a cliff hanger I know. Please don't hate. This story is getting harder to write. Mostly because fluff is easier to write and the fluffiness isn't going to come back for a while. **

**So what's going to happen to Edward? Why can't he remember anything? What did Carlisle want to talk Esme alone about????? Stay tuned to find out! Please review!**


	17. Taking It Back

**A/N: Here's chapter 17! A few things are explained here... not very much happens... but this is a big turning point. I hope you all like it.**

**This chapter goes out to _jazymin_ who reviews pretty much every chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight... life sucks.**

Taking It Back

EPOV

I spent two days in the hospital. Carlisle had me see a therapist before I left, and I was feeling uneasy about it. He was acting kind of erratic and nervous. That was unsettling in itself. Carlisle's always been a very put together man. It was one of the things I admired about him. But now he seemed skittish and uncertain and that was scary.

And scarier still… I couldn't remember anything from my…episode… at school. I vaguely remembered punching Newton in the face. Then it's a huge blank after that. No one would tell me what happened or what I did… and I think a part of me was glad for that. I obviously wasn't going back to school for a while. Esme and Carlisle worked it out the principal that I needed to be on a "medical hiatus." I would skip out for the rest of the year and pick it up again next year. It meant that I wouldn't graduate with everyone… but I would graduate. And that was the real goal. I had no clue what was wrong with me… but I wasn't really sure I wanted to know.

Jasper was suspended from school for beating the shit out of Newton the next day. I've never seen him so proud of himself.

"Edward," he said during our match of SuperSmashBrothers Brawl, "I know what you need."

"To kick your ass?" I asked while pummeling him as Princess Peach.

"In your dreams!" He said triumphantly kicking mine. "You need to take Bella on a date." He turned over to face me.

"Huh?" I asked tossing my controller aside, "A date? How will that help?"

"Sit and listen… you've been spending too much mental energy worrying over all the crap that's been going on with you. I can feel your stress all the way from my house. You need to displace all that. Thinking about a date with Bella will make you worrying about a bunch of other stuff… normal stuff."

"Jazz, you're a genius."

"It's been known to happen." He said with a shrug.

"Have you taken Alice on a date yet?"

"Not yet. I don't know where to take her. Emmett had this brilliant idea, though."

"And?"

"Em says that we need to the girls out on the same night… three separate dates."

"I don't get it…" I titled my head one side.

"Okay… for example, let's say you took Bella out tonight. She would tell girls about it tomorrow. She would tell them all the romantic stuff you did and what not. She would be gushing about how wonderful it was. Now, Alice and Rose will be expecting an equal or even better date. So if we all go out the same night… but separately, there won't be any pressure for us guys to out do each other!" Jasper finished with a big smile. I could feel my face making one too.

"Em needs to write a book."

"That he does."

We spent most of the day killing each other in various video games in my room. It was nice mindless entertainment, the very kind I needed. It made me feel normal. Jasper was good to have around. He was always on the same emotional wavelength with everyone… almost like he always knew what someone was feeling.

It was early in the afternoon when the others got there. Emmett was grinning from ear to ear.

"Jasper, you are the man!" He said and patted Jasper on the back.

"I know this… but did I do?"

"Newton's face is about the size of a watermelon. His eyes are nearly swollen shut. It was a lovely sight." Emmett made his way to my bed and made himself comfortable. Rosalie was right behind him.

"Oh yes. Good job, brother!" She commented to Jasper. "Hi, Edward." She greeted me as she plopped on my bed beside Emmett.

"Hi, Rose."

"HI EDWARD!" I heard Alice squeal from downstairs.

"HI ALICE!" I said in my best imitation of her voice.

"Jazzy!" She nearly sang as she threw herself into Jasper. She stuck her tongue out at me. One left…

"Edward!" Bella said as she came into view. I nearly forgot that anything was wrong with me when I saw her. I held out my arms for her. She giggled and sat in my lap.

"Hello, love." I said to her. She blushed.

It was late when the others left. Esme insisted that they stay for dinner and dessert. Carlisle had excused himself. Bella made my night by telling me that she was sleeping over.

"You don't mind if I sleep over, do you?" She asked timidly.

"Bella, are you seriously asking? If it were up to me you'd never leave!"

"Good then!" She giggled. I loved it when she giggled.

I was waiting in bed for her to finish showering. I heaved a heavy sigh. I wondered when Bella would get tired of me. I wondered when she would get fed up with this drama that was my life. I wondered when she would just leave me. I loved her with everything I was… but she didn't need to be bound to… this insanity that ruled me.

The door to my bathroom opened, and then scent of her shampoo pranced out to greet me. I inhaled it greedily, burning it into my memory in case she did leave me someday. I looked to see her coming. My breath caught in my throat.

She stood before me in a dark blue pajama set. It wasn't overtly sexy, but I knew it was new. I could tell the material was very soft. Though nothing would ever compare with the softness of her skin. The pants went all the way to the floor and the top hung just low enough to give my imagination a serious workout. And she did this for me. For the first time, I felt like a normal teenage boy.

I loved her. I felt like it was impossible that she had been with me for so long and I hadn't realized that she was the end of my line. I held my arms out for her. She smiled and blushed a bit but hopped over to me. She instantly snuggled into my body and I felt mine melt around hers. I pulled her closer to me, putting her body practically pressed against mine.

"You're wonderful." I whispered.

"I love you, Edward." She said leaning into my chest. I sighed happily. She was my medicine. She's what would make me better.

The conversation I had with Jasper earlier started to run through my head. I did want to take Bella on a date. I wanted to very much. I wanted to take her out and have a romantic evening free of drama and the demons that ruled my mind. I wanted to dedicate a night to her. I wanted to dedicate my time and effort because she was truly worth it all. She was worth so much more than I could give her. But I would give her everything I could. I took a deep breath.

"Bella, I want to take you out on a date." I whispered. She turned her head up to face me and she as beaming.

"Oh Edward! I would like that very much!" She squealed. I smiled.

"Really?" I said, sounding a lot like a child. She giggled.

"Of course! I'm excited already!" She snuggled closer to me. I reveled in the warmth of her body.

"Thank you, Bella." I sighed. She kissed my chest through my shirt. I shivered from the sensation.

"For what?" She asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"For everything. For you, for staying with me. Thank you so much, Bella. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You make my world go round. I love you so much." I kissed the top of her head. She sighed. The moment was perfect. We were together, snuggled and warm in my bed. Nothing could ruin this. Absolutely nothing. We didn't say much else after that, and after a while I was sure that Bella was sound asleep. So I gave myself the luxury of watching her sleep. She held on to me all night with a small smile on her face. Every now and then she would mumble my name and sigh. I chuckled and held her. I was about to doze off too, but then…

"Carlisle, you've lost your mind!" I heard Esme shout from downstairs. I stiffened, thinking Bella would wake up. Thankfully though, she was knocked out. Then Esme shouted again. I slowly moved away from Bella. She whimpered, but wrapped her arms around my pillow. After a few breaths, she was sleeping soundly again, the same smile on her face. I quietly made my way downstairs. Esme and Carlisle never argued. I was really curious. Just call me Fluffy. Meow.

They were in the kitchen. Carlisle was sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. Esme was pacing throwing her hands around wildly. I could tell by their shadows. I stood very still against wall around the corner. I listened.

"I can't believe you would even entertain this idea!! That would you would… even dare to suggest this to me!" She shouted at him.

"Esme, please. You're misunderstanding me." Carlisle pleaded with her. "I don't agree with this at all. This is what the therapists said. I don't want it."

Therapists? Were they arguing about me?

"Then why did you bring it up?"

"It's an option. That's all."

"Why such an extreme option? Huh, Carlisle? What's wrong with him?" She asked with fear leaking into her voice.

"We're not exactly sure. We know for sure is repressing his memories unconsciously. His subconscious knows that it would detrimental for him to remember what happens when he… It's a defense mechanism."

"But why would they suggest that?" She yelled with the rage returning.

"It could be something serious. It's an option…"

"You keep saying that! 'It's an option, it's an option.' Well it's out of the question."

"Esme, you're overreacting."

"Overreacting? Carlisle, stop thinking like a doctor for one minute and think like a parent."

"I am. I just… what if he needs…" Carlisle sounded wounded.

"NOT MY BABY!" My body froze. She called me her… "No Carlisle! Not my baby! Not you… nor is anyone going to take my son away from me! I don't care what any doctor thinks!" She started to sob and I felt my own tears spilling. "There is nothing wrong with him! He's going through some tough times, that's all!"

"Esme…" he said tenderly. He got up to embrace her, but she pulled away from him. "I don't agree with it. But I don't know what to do for him. Maybe…"

"For the love of all that's holy, Carlisle! You are not instutionalizing Edward! You'll have to kill me first! Not my baby, Carlisle! Not my son." She let her sobs go. My knees went weak and my body slid to the floor.

"Our son, Esme." He embraced her. "He is our son and I want you to know that I'm not going to allow this. I just wanted to you know what the other doctors were saying. They think that he won't get better, but I know he will." Carlisle was crying too.

Why did every life I touch have to suffer? Was I going to kill these parents too? Maybe I didn't deserve happiness. Maybe I wasn't meant to be loved.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you before letting you finish. It's just that the thought of losing Edward at all is… I couldn't bear it, Carlisle."

"And neither could I."

But they did love me. I have parents that love me. I have brothers and sisters… they loved me. And sleeping upstairs…Bella loved me. I stood up from the floor and walked into the kitchen. I threw my arms around both Esme and Carlisle. Esme gasped.

"Edward, did you…"

"I heard it all." I said through tears.

"Are you angry with me?" Carlisle asked.

"No. I can understand where you're coming from. You want to take of me the best way you know how. I could never be angry at you for that." Their arms came around me.

"I meant every word." Esme cried. "I'm going to do everything I can to help you get through this."

"Thank you."

"Edward, you are our son and we've loved you that way for a very long time."

"And I've loved you as my parents for probably longer. And I will get better. I will make it through this. And I will need your help. And I want to start now." I pulled away from them. I'm sure that our eyes were all red and puffy. Esme looked at me and smiled. Her smile was hopeful and encouraging. I looked over at Carlisle. "I need to know everything that's wrong with me. I need to know every detail. I want to overcome this. I want stop making so many people cry."

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder and smiled.

"All right. Come with me."

Carlisle led me to his office. With every step I felt stronger. I had finally decided to take my life by it horns and fill it over. I was done. I was done being the victim. I had to get over this… I had to let it go. I needed to get control of my own life back. And I was. Flashes of the people that I was doing this for flipped through my mind. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice… and Bella. Even the faces of my dead parents showed up. My face never flashed. I wasn't doing this for me. I didn't think I was worth the effort. I was just some crazy kid that needed to be locked up in a bouncy room. But those people loved me. They wanted me to get better, to live my life fully and happily. That thought I was worth it. And for them, I would be.

**A/N: And there we have it! Edward is taking control. We'll be jumping ahead a bit to keep the story moving. Thank you all so much! Review please!**


	18. Therapists

**A/N: I seriously have the best reviewers in the world!!!! This chapter goes out to _birdee18 _who is awesome!!! I would have gotten this out sooner, but the Alphonse's backspace button was being stupid. But it's good now! so here we go everyone!!!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight... oh the joy...**

Therapists

EPOV

There wasn't an exact name for what was wrong with me. The sudden bursts of anger that I would get were from holding myself back for so long. I had reached a boiling point and now everything was spilling over for any little thing. It was like shaking a soda can over and over and over again. Now I was open. Anything could set me over the edge. And the reason I couldn't remember going into those attacks is because my body would panic. So to protect me from myself essentially, my mind would kind of erase the memories of said attack.

It may have been safer to lock me away. But I had promised that I would fight my way through this.

My talk with Carlisle had been a week ago. We decided that the best way to start me off was with therapy. We decided against anger management because my anger wasn't conscious. Bella insisted on coming with me for every session.

"Ready?" She asked. I sighed.

"I am." I was about to tell her she didn't need to come. But my therapist, Dr. Denali, advised against any arguments. I had to go with the flow. If I could consciously control myself, my subconscious would follow suit. I was done trying. It was time to start doing. Bella came over to me and threw her arms around me. I sighed happily. I circled my arms around her tiny body and pulled her close to me. I kissed the top of her head while taking in her scent at the same time…. Aromatherapy.

"You're so strong, Edward." She whispered.

"Am I holding you too tightly?" I asked and began to let her go a little. She pulled herself right back to me.

"No. Not at all. Not tight enough if you ask me. I meant about all of this. If it were me… I would have…" she trailed off. I knew where she was going.

"And I have tried that too, remember?" I felt her nod against my chest. And I then I felt my chest getting wet and her body shake a little. She was crying.

"Oh Edward… If you ever feel that way again, you'd tell me right? You'd never do that again, would you?" She looked up at and I could see the fear dancing in her eyes.

"I would never do that to you." I answered truthfully. I would never do anything that would make Bella suffer.

"I mean for you. You have to want this for you. You need to live for you." She said. I thought about that for a minute. She was right… but I still couldn't see the point of it.

"I will someday. But for now, I want to live for you and for everyone else that cares about me. I'm not in that healthy place yet. There are no lights and the end of my tunnel. My clouds have no silver lining… and if they do then I can't see them yet. I'm broken, Bella." I said.

And it felt good to admit this out loud. Because it was true. I didn't really care for me… yet. I would eventually.

"No, Edward… you are not broken." She said into my chest.

"Yes I am. It's okay though. I won't stay this way. I don't want to. I'll be whole someday. But for now, I'm broken. There are times I feel very close to whole though." I finished with a smile. I felt her smile.

"When? What times do you feel whole?" She still spoke into my chest, her voice sending warm shivers through me. I pulled her closer to me.

"Right now," I whispered. "I feel whole right now."

BPOV

I was so proud of Edward. He was taking his life back and throwing himself in to get better. And as I promised, I was there with him every step of the way. I went to nearly every therapy session. Though I could tell he didn't want me to go, his therapist thought it was a good idea. Dr. Denali was good at what she did. He'd only been going for week… but it was everyday and I'd only missed one day. We hadn't gotten into his past yet. The doctor was trying to get to know him.

The doctor was patiently waiting for us when we arrived.

"Edward, Bella, it is very nice to see you." She had the slight leftovers of a Russian accent that I found oddly soothing. We walked in; I sat on one of the plush chairs while Edward sat on the couch. He sighed.

"Hello, Doctor." We said together.

"Please call me Tanya." She said with a dazzling smile that stabbed my self esteem a little. "Okay, Edward. Now that I have learned about you, I believe it is time to dive deep into your mind. Are you ready?"

"No." Edward said bluntly with his arm draped over his eyes. "But I'm going to do this." I beamed. Tanya did too.

"All right. We need to find out exactly what troubles you. What repressed memories are stifling your control? So we are going to take trip, Edward. But it will not be a pleasant one. There very well may be tears today." She got up and started to turn the lights off. She turned on her radio and very smooth music dripped from it.

"I can handle that." Edward said sleepily.

"That's what I like to hear. Now keep your eyes covered." Edward stayed still and she pulled up a chair right next to him. She motioned me to come by her. I sat beside her. She started to speak rhythmically. With her slight accent, her voice sounded almost hypnotic. "Edward, there is someone I need to meet. But you may not remember him well. Can you help me?"

"I can try." He whispered… had she hypnotized him?

"No. We are not trying. We are doing. Can you or can you not help me?" She said with ethereal firmness.

"I can help you."

"Good. Edward, I need you to remember yourself. Throughout this whole exercise, I need you to always remember yourself and not lose you. But I need to meet you as a child. Remember back." She put her hand on his forehead. "I need to know your oldest memory. How far back can you remember?" I saw Edward wince. I knew I wasn't going to like this. Tanya looked to me and shook her head.

"I was two. I wanted to do something special for my mom because she seemed to be so angry all the time. I picked her flowers.

"How very sweet of you, Edward. Tell me more." She soothed.

"She got angry with me." He said in a small voice.

"Why?"

"She never told me. All she said is that I was stupid and that she was allergic to flowers." Edward winced again. I was shaking.

"And what did she do?" Tanya asked with sadness in her face.

"She tried to drown me."

EPOV

Bella and I left my therapy session drained and emotional. Tanya was very good at what she did. She made me remember things I thought were long forgotten. She said that for me to get better quickly she had to gently flood me. Flooding was when you were thrown into the middle of your fears. For example, if you were afraid of spiders they would lock you in a room full of them. That's flooding. But she wasn't leaving locking me away with my fears. She was bringing them out and helping me face them. She couldn't help me much with the childhood memories… but I needed to remember them. The anger I would fly into was being triggered by suppressing all of this. If I could let them go, the rage would go with it.

Bella decided that I needed ice cream.

"Did she hypnotize you?" She asked picking at her chocolate sundae.

"Sort of. I was totally conscious, but I had no inhibitions. I didn't really care about telling her anything. I couldn't really control it…"

"That's pretty powerful…"

"It is. But it's going to help me." I took a bite of my ice cream, barely registering the flavor. I could see something brewing in Bella's eyes. Something was bothering her… "What's on your mind?" I asked reaching my hand over to lace it with hers.

"It's just that… Edward, I… Hearing you relive all that was so…" I used my free hand to put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"Shh… It's okay. I know. It was hard for me to go there. But it's helping me. This is what I need. Once we figure when I started to bottle in this hatred, we can really focus on getting me through this."

"What can I do for you?" She asked, her eyes pleading with me.

"You don't have to do anything. What you do now is perfect. This is up to me." She reached across the table and put her hand on mine. She saw right through me. I knew she did. I wanted to be strong. But I just didn't have it in me. I wanted to let go… but sometimes in all the wrong ways.

"Edward… I think we need to see Emmett."

************************

Emmett and the others were waiting for me back at HOME. It felt wonderful to call it that. They had my room set up a lot like Dr. Denali's…I mean Tanya's office. Alice, Rose and Jasper were sitting on my bed. My long black leather couch was placed in the middle of the room. Emmett was standing by it.

"What's going on?" I asked… fearing the answer.

"Intervention," Jasper said.

"As happy as we are that you're diving head into getting better… we know that you need help." Alice chimed.

"Edward, we know you're going to therapy and everything… and that these doctors have been to school and all that sort of stuff… but we know you better than anyone else." Rosalie said.

"So we're kick starting this recovery." Bella said leading me to the couch. She sat down and pulled me down with her. "I know that as strong as you want to be, you still feel weak and want to give up. And I understand that. You need to keep in mind, Edward that this isn't going to happen overnight. It could take a really long time. But we are here to help you." She said sweetly stroking my face.

"And on that note, say hello to your other therapist. Dr, Em." Emmett boomed. I stared at them.

"Seriously?"

"Hell yeah!" Emmett said. "All right, Bella. Back away from my client. I got this." He said popping his collar. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay…" I said with confusion. What was Emmett going to do?

"I know what you're doing with the professional therapist. She's getting you to back into your memories and all that stuff, right?"

"Yeah…" I said still confused.

"She's trying to fix your _then._ I'm going to fix your _now._" He said while a big smile. I couldn't help but smile back. My friends were wonderful.

"All right, Doc. Let's do this." Emmett instructed to lie back on the couch. He proceeded to inform me of his actual goal. His theory was that by having Tanya working on healing me through my past, and him healing my present… it would heal me completely. His methods were odd. I couldn't really find any rhyme or reason to them. He was going to give me assignments that I had to have completed by the end of each week. He would base my healing on how well I completed his tasks. It was bizarre. But I completely trusted Emmett.

Then after Emmett said his piece, Jasper informed me that he had a role in this too.

"All right, Edward. Emmett's going to be working out your mind. I'm in charge of keeping you physically healthy. You have just been enlisted in Camp Jazz. I'll be coming by every morning before school to go running with you. I've devised a nutrition plan for you, as well as a new workout routine." He had a clipboard in his hand. "I'll be tracking your progress and give you reports once a week."

I titled my head to one side. I didn't see how keep me fit would help me.

"And how will that help?"

"You can't expect your mind to be healthy if your body isn't." He said simply. How true it was. Then Alice stood up. Oh no.

"Rose and I have a hand in this too. You are now a member of the Lily Pixie Spa. We will pamper you luxuriously." She squealed. I just realized that they were all dressed to fit their parts. Emmett was in a suit with a white lab coat over it. Jasper was in army fatigues; Rose and Alice were wearing black t-shirts, black shorts and pink aprons. The aprons had something that looked a lot like Tinkerbelle holding a rose embroidered on it. They seriously went all out for this.

"Alice has already had your entire wardrobe replaced, and your appointment is scheduled for this coming weekend." Rose finished. Now I was completely baffled.

"And how will _that_ help?"

"Edward!" Alice gasped. Rosalie shook her head.

"You can't _feel _good if you don't _look_ good. Besides… you need to time to let your mind relax in between the therapies and boot camp. Like Alice said, we're going to pamper you. You'll love if for it, trust me." She finished.

Well… right again. I couldn't believe that they had all of this planned. I was in sheer awe of them. My head was spinning with the overload I was getting. I couldn't understand why they cared about me so much. Jasper came over and put his hand on my shoulder.

"You're confused." He stated.

"I am." I was about to tell them why. I was about to go into a whole story about how I just couldn't fathom why they would waste so much time on me. But I smiled. Why ask? Some things didn't need explanations. Alice always said that the best things in life were pointless. She was right. Jasper seemed to sense my change in mood. "But I'll be okay." He smiled. "But what's Bella's part in all this?"

"I am Nurse Bella. Here to assist in every way possible!" She announced cheerfully. My teenage hormones thought of several ways Nurse Bella could assist me…Hmmm. Glad to know they were still working. I smiled. If I hadn't cried so much during therapy with Tanya, I probably would have cried now. They were right. I was wasting too much time feeling sorry for myself and thinking less of me. If people cared for me and loved me… it was with good reason. I was just a good person that bad stuff had happened to. I looked up at Emmett.

"All right, Dr. Em. I want to start treatment ASAFP. What are my first assignments?" He flashed a big grin.

"YEAH!" He yelled happily and pulled me into a hug. "That's what I'm talking about!" He released me. "You'll have two assignments this week to be completed in the order that you choose. First, you need to take Bella on a date. Then, you need to start playing again."

"Playing?"

"The piano dumb ass." He chuckled. "It's been for flipping ever since you've touched that thing." He knelt down a bit to be head level with me. "Can't you hear her, Edward?" He whispered dramatically. "She says, 'Play me.'" I heard Rose giggle.

"Okay." Then I turned to Jasper. "And what are we doing?"

"Tomorrow morning at 5am, we're going to run a mile. I had Carlisle set up a gym for us in the basement. I'll go into greater detail then." He looked me up and down. "Damn, man… when did you get so skinny? Bella and Esme are going to need to double your servings."

"I have no issues with that." I said. Then I turned to Alice and Rose. "So what do you two have lined up for me?"

"You need a body massage, desperately." Alice said.

"Then there's an allover skin treatment we're going to try. You'll feel brand new when we're done with you."

They went over all sorts of spa treatments and pampering they were going to put me through. I saw careers in the making.

Recovery was a sure thing for me now. There was no room for doubts. I would have my times of weakness. I had to accept that. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I knew I wouldn't wake up tomorrow free of anger and sadness. But the ride just got a little smoother, and soon the steering wheel would be mine. I wanted to get better… but not to just get on with my life. I wasn't just doing this for other people anymore. Yes I was damaged. Yes I was broken. But I needed this… for me. I was worth it. I didn't deserve to suffer. I didn't ask for my life to be something straight out of a Spanish soap opera.

Bella sat back next to me.

"What are you thinking?" She asked. I chuckled.

"Looks like I won't have to change my name to Fernando after all."

**A/N: Who loves Dr. Em and Drill Instructor Jazz??? I DO I DO! So here we see Edward taking another important step towards his recovery. i assure you... things will be quite... um.... interesting in the next few chapters.... hehehe. **

**So I wanna take this time out to wish you all Happy Holidays!!! I hope it's wonderful! And for anyone who will have snow... or has had snow... or has snow now... tell it I miss it! **


	19. Nurse Bella

**A/N: I hope you all had a happy Holiday! And I want to thank everyone who gave my love to the snow. This chapter goes out _MelissaTheTwilightFan_ for suggesting that there should be a Camp Em! I know someone else who would totally agree with you! Without further ado... Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I would love to own Twilight... But I would LOVE to own Edward.... *sigh* But I own none. **

Nurse Bella

EPOV

Jasper was insane. He was the one that needed therapy. Anyone that could be wide awake at 5 in the mother flipping morning had to have some serious issues!

I woke with a jump as an air horn ripped through the warm silence in my room.

"WAKE UP, MASEN!" I heard his voice boom. I thought only Emmett could do that. Apparently… that was not the case. I nearly fell out of my bed when he blasted the air horn again. I knew I couldn't complain. I agreed to all of this. They even made me sign a contract!

"I'm up, I'm up… My God…" I yawned and he blasted the air horn again. "Stop that would you? You'll wake Esme and Carlisle!"

"No need to worry about that, Masen. The doctor's gone to work. And as for Esme…' he trailed off and an evil little smile took over his face. Esme marched in wearing army fatigues and black stripes under her eyes. WOW.

"Get out of bed, Edward!" She shouted. Her voice sounded so wrong for that kind of talk. She must have realized it too because she giggled.

"Soldiers don't giggle." Jasper said tersely. Esme stopped laughing and saluted him.

"Sorry, Sergeant Jazzy sir!" She snapped to attention. I raised one eyebrow… Sergeant Jazzy? I got out of bed and Jasper threw some kind of uniform at me.

"You have 10 minutes to shower and change into that uniform. Starting NOW!" He pulled out a whistle and blew. "Now, move! Move! Move!" I scrambled into the shower, lamenting the fact that I wasn't able to relish in the hot water like I normally did. I quickly showered and got dressed and ran back out… panting.

"With three minutes to spare!" Esme said happily. Jasper smiled evilly. He looked up at me.

"Edward… welcome to the corner of Pain and Back."

Oh Lord…

BPOV

I waited anxiously at school for Jasper to arrive. He had gone to train Edward very early this morning, and I was very nervous. As I saw Jasper coming towards us, the evil smile on his face said it all. Alice ran up to him.

"Jazzy! How'd it go?" He waited until he got over to the rest of us to answer.

"It was great! I even got Esme to help out. She was my co-drill instructor." He laughed.

"Seriously?" Rose asked.

"You wanna see the cutest thing in the world? Try seeing Esme being all hardcore. That's just adorable. But Edward, oh he was hilarious! You know he has a pretty decent singing voice." I perked up.

"What did you make him do?"

"Run laps… while singing a medley of old boyband songs… you know the ones he _really _hates. And Barbie Girl. I made him sing Barbie girl." Emmett's responding laughter caused several heads to turn in our direction.

"Please tell me you have this on camera! Come on, Jazz…complete my life!" Jasper laughed.

"Sadly no…" he pouted slightly.

"Didn't that make him angry?" I asked concerned.

"At first he was annoyed… but then he started getting into it. I had him doubled over with laughter before I left." I smiled. Jasper continued. "He even did a dance and was singing in falsetto and everything!!"

"WOW! I would give up my left arm to see that." Emmett said.

"That's for sure! Edward's a Barbie girl…" Rose mused. I was thrilled. Edward was laughing… he wasn't angry! I gave Jasper a big hug.

"Jazz, you're the best!"

"Of this I am aware." He said smugly… I could feel his "Jazz the Man" routine coming on… but thankfully the bell rang to signal the beginning of school. I walked into my classroom with a fit of giggles. Yes… Edward was going to get better. Bu the truth of the matter is… I'd give my left arm to see Edward singing and dancing Barbie Girl too.

The school day was finally over and I couldn't wait to get back to Edward. I had missed his session with Tanya but I still had his session with Dr. Em to go to. Em had me go to his house before heading to Edward's. I smiled. It was nice to think of the house as his… as his home. Emmett had this big ridiculous smile on his face the whole way. We got to his house and he led me straight to his room.

"All right Nurse Bella…" he said while raiding his closet. He smiled widely when he found what he was looking for. "Ah! Here is you uniform!" He handed me a plastic bag and I could have killed him when I saw what was inside.

"Em, are you sure you don't mean to give this to Rosalie?" I seethed. He laughed.

"Nope! But the idea is rather appealing. I'm totally serious though. It's your uniform and you have to wear for my sessions with Edward."

"No… not just no… but HELL no, Emmett! I can't! This is like honeymoon stuff!"

"Bells, everything I do has a purpose. Do you want to help Edward or not?"

So…I was waiting for Edward in his room wearing a naughty nurse outfit. I was having a full body blush. Emmett had set up Edward's room to look like a therapist's office. Esme had sent Edward on a pointless errand. And because Esme was the coolest female adult on the face of the planet… she actually agreed with Emmett's idea for my uniform. And what's worse… he wanted me to act as there was nothing wrong with what I was wearing!

"Bella!" Emmett called, snapping my out of my head. "Edward's in the house. Wait in the kitchen and don't come up here until I call you." I nodded. Though I hated the method… I understood Em's reasoning behind the… the uniform. But I think mostly, Emmett just wanted a good laugh. I heaved a heavy sigh. If this was my contribution for Edward… well then damn it I was going to go all out too.

EPOV

I strolled back in the house after returning from what could only be called a pointless errand. I came in whistling a tune that had been forming itself in my head since Emmett had assigned to start playing again. It had only been a couple of days… but the melody was nearly complete. I walked inside to find Emmett… I mean Dr. Em waiting for me in the living room.

"Hello, Edward. I trust that you are ready for your appointment." He said quite professionally. I smiled. They were really going all out for me. But I wasn't ready. I hadn't done any of the assignments yet.

"Dr. Em, I haven't completed the assigned tasks…" he put his hand up.

"I haven't expected you to. Not yet. This is an impromptu session. We need to get more familiar with each other." He smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Emmett… I've known you forever." He laughed.

"Yeah, I know!" He said breaking out the doctor role. "But we need to set this up better. I need to see where you're at and hear about the therapy with the other doctor for my therapy to work right."

"That makes sense then…"

"And afterwards… the others are coming over. Jazz told us about Barbie Girl." He laughed as we ascended the stairs. I laughed too. It was hilarious.

My room was transformed into a therapist's office. Emmett had situated a large desk by my bookcase and had my couch in the middle of the room. He waved his hand toward the couch indicating me to sit.

"Now… I know it's only been a couple of days… but where are you on the assignments?"

"Well, I've been playing with a melody in my head and…"

"Stop right there!" He said urgently. "I want that melody out of your head. I want copies of the sheet music next week. And I want to hear it at our next session."

"Okay…" I said hesitantly.

"Good. Now, how about asking Bella on a date?" He smiled as if he was enjoying an inside joke.

"I don't know where to take her." I said truthfully. Emmett eyed for a little while…

"Edward, how do you feel about Bella?" He asked with his eyes narrowed at me.

"I love her." The response was involuntary… automatic. I loved Bella, plain and simple.

"Are you sure?" He asked… his eyes were still narrowed at me and he was leaning forward slightly. I was confused…

"Yes. There's nothing I'm more sure of. But you know that."

"I know…" he said leaning back. I had a feeling that we would revisit that question later. I wondered why.

Emmett asked me to tell him about the sessions with Tanya. It wasn't as hard with him as it had been with her. This was Emmett. I had nothing to hide from him anymore. I told him everything. Thankfully… the wounds from my past had already been re-opened and I had bled all I had to bleed from them already.

"That's tough, man." He said sincerely.

"It's over now though."

"When was the last time you felt angry?"

"Since the Newton incident." Emmett evaluated that answer.

"Okay!" He concluded happily. "I think I've made a connection. But I won't discuss that with you now. NURSE BELLA!!!" He called out into the house. About a minute later, Bella emerged into the room and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Bella was wearing a naughty nurse outfit…

EmPOV

I am a genius. My plan was working perfectly and Edward's recovery was right in my hand. Edward's last episode had been the whole Newton thing. Edward's anger was _provoked_. Why hadn't anyone seen this? Edward didn't just randomly lose his mind. He was fine until someone messed with him… well not him specifically. If someone messes with someone he cares for… then all hell breaks loose.

But I had other plans for that part of his recovery. For right now, I needed to work on making Edward feel normal. Right now, Edward's life was something straight out of a movie. He needed to feel normal. So here's my brilliant plan. Edward's a teenager. He needs to deal with teenage problems… hence Bella's uniform. They would thank me for it later.

I carefully studied Edward's face when Bella walked in. Now I behaved myself. Yes, it was a naughty nurse costume. But it left a lot to the imagination and I could feel his stretching.

"Yes Dr. Em?" She asked innocently.

"The client is here and I need your assistance." I said smugly as I noticed Edward hadn't recovered from Bella's entrance.

"What can I do for you, Doctor?" She asked twirling her hair. I smiled. GO BELLA! I could see Edward squirming. Oh how sweet it is.

EPOV

Okay… so Jasper AND Emmett were insane! What was Emmett thinking? Bella looked absolutely… she was positively… My GOD! She was so damn sexy it hurt to look at her. And she was walking around LIKE THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG! It took everything I had not to… not to… well honestly I'm not sure. I wanted to run up to her and kiss the life out of her... of that much I was sure.

But there was more. I felt something even more strange and unrecognizable. I _wanted _Bella. I just wanted to throw Emmett out the window and run my hands down Bella's body and pull her on me and… _WHOA!_ Nothing Emmett said registered with me after that. The only thing I could think about was Bella… and how damn sexy she looked prancing around my room in a naughty nurse outfit… purposely trying to act innocent about it. It was doing things to my mind that I could have never thought possible.

"Edward!" I heard a boom rip through my room. I painfully tore my eyes away from Bella and looked over to Emmett… who had a pleased look on his face.

"Yeah?" I managed to choke out as Bella perched herself on the edge of the desk. Emmett chuckled.

"You blanked out for a bit there. Just making sure you're still with us. Now, Nurse Bella," he turned to look at her and I swear what she did next was on purpose. She leaned on the desk, arching her back. She was trying to entice me, to seduce me! And it was happily working!

"Yes, Doctor?"

"I know you are attending the other sessions with the client, so I have a large task for you. I need you to take good mental notes. I need someone else's perspective on Edward's then if I'm going to properly help his now."

"Yes, Dr. Em." She said demurely. This was killing me! What were they trying to do?

"Thank you. You may leave now." Emmett said dismissing her. I swore I nearly whimpered. As soon as she left the room, Emmett blew up with laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted.

"I am a genius!" He laughed.

"Genius my ass! My God, what were you thinking? Dressing Bella up like that and…"

"Tell me what you were thinking about while she was here." He sobered up.

"What?" I asked utterly confused.

"What was on your mind while she was here?"

"Her. Me and her… and you not here." I blurted and instantly felt my face go hot. I covered my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment. But Emmett seemed pleased with my answer.

"And nothing else?" He asked.

"Not a damn thing else." I answered from behind my hands.

"And that is why I am a genius."

I dropped my hands and stared at Emmett as if he had sprouted a second head. He laughed at my expression.

"Edward, usually your mind is polluted with all that junky shit you've gone through, and what it's causing you now. You've never worried about normal teenage dude things. Wanting your girlfriend in sinful ways is a VERY normal problem. Trust me. If you start to worry about what's going on now… you can let then go. That's my whole direction with this. I need you and your mind to be here… in the present. Your other therapist is taking you back, working your past. Trying to heal you through dispelling whatever demons you're holding inside… blah blah blah. That's going to leave some scratches in your present. Just call me Neosporin!"

I laughed. He was so right… as usual.

"All right, Em. I see your point. But seriously? Did you have to go there… what with the naughty nurse and everything?"

"Hell yeah I did. Edward, I need you to understand something. I'm a fool."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"And as a fool… I take extreme measure to get what I want. I want you better… so I dress up Bella as a naughty nurse to get my point across. Use it as… inspiration."

After my therapy session with Dr. Em and Nurse Bella (hot DAMN) the others came over and Alice and Rosalie begged that I perform Barbie Girl for them.

"Please Edward! Pretty please!!! I'll love you forever!" Alice whined bouncing up and down. I rolled my eyes.

"You already do love me forever…" Then I had a marvelous idea. "I'll do it… but Em and Jazz have to come up here with me." Rose was thrilled.

"Edward that's perfect!"

"I love it!" Bella squealed. Alice clapped her hands.

"I'm in!" Jazz and Em both said while coming to stand with me. Alice hopped up from her seat.

"I'll be Ken!" She shouted. Perfect. Bella started the song and we all started belting out with Alice as Ken. We were all getting into just as Carlisle came into my room with a bewildered expression as Jasper, Emmett and I sang the line,

"I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie." We sang.

"Do I want to know?" Carlisle asked. We all fell over from the laughter.

"No not really." Rose managed to say. Carlisle chuckled slightly and shook his head. He went back downstairs. Soon after, the others left. Bella was about to leave too. I grabbed her arm and she turned to look at me.

"Can you stay?"

BPOV

The Barbie Girl performance was just what I needed after my whole Nurse Bella performance. It was unnerving to see Edward watching me with… with… hunger in his eyes. It was unnerving… but it was extremely sexy. With all that's been going on, Edward and I hadn't been… able to concentrate on really being together. I honestly didn't think he could wrap his mind around being with me… but obviously he could. And that was Emmett's goal after all.

I was just about to leave when Edward grabbed my arm lightly. I turned to look at him and found myself staring into his seemingly darker green eyes.

"Can you stay?" His voice seemed deeper somehow. I was mesmerized. I nodded.

"Let me call my parents." I got out.

"Okay." He smiled. I melted. It had been so long since he smiled at me that way. I dialed home.

"Hello!" Mom greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, Mom. I was hoping I could stay with Edward tonight."

"DUH! Of course you can!" She giggled.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Not a problem! Now go hurry and make me some grandchildren! I'm not getting any younger you know!"

"MOM!" I whined.

"Bye honey! Give Edward my love!"

_Click_. I sighed.

I turned over to look at Edward, who was still looking at me with hungry eyes…

"Mom says it's okay." I squeaked.

Edward came towards me quickly. His arms wrapped around me and suddenly his lips captured mine in a searing kiss. If kisses could take virginity away… I wouldn't be wearing white to my wedding after this one. My skin burst into flames and I threw myself into this kiss as if my life depended on it. Edward pulled me closer to him and I could tell that we were moving… but I didn't really care where. His hands started traveling down my sides, leaving fire in their wake and I could feel my body shiver with giddy want. I suddenly realized that I was laying horizontally on top of Edward… when did we get here?

I came up for air but Edward's lips didn't leave my body. He flipped us over and started to kiss down my neck to my collarbone. Sometimes he licked and nipped at my neck and I felt like screaming and ripping all of our clothes off. I wanted to touch him… to feel his perfect body… but he had my arms pinned above my head… dominating me… my GOD that was hot. My name would escape his mouth and I would feel his breath fanning across my skin. That would send whole new sensations through my body. I wanted more… I wanted so much more. I struggled to move my hands out of his grip so that I could touch him.

"No…" he mumbled into my skin. "Let me…" I was panting like I had just run 5 marathons. I couldn't respond. I didn't want to. I was going to let him all right. His free hand went under me, resting on my back. I hitched one leg around his waist and brought him closer to me. I swear he growled… that had to be the sexiest sound I had ever heard in my life! Mental note: Make him do that again! Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, Edward stopped and fell over on my left side panting just as heavily.

"Bella…I…" he was having trouble speaking.

"Mmmm?" Apparently, so was I.

"I shouldn't… have attacked you… like that… but… you…. And the outfit… like a nurse… I couldn't help myself…"

"You can attack me anytime you want." I breathed. And he did. In fact… he attacked about three more times before we actually went to sleep. I would have to remember to thank Emmett for this later…

**A/N: I hope you liked this one! This is my very first time EVER writing anything remotely sexual... ever... at all. It might suck... I hope it doesn't. **

**Well... I felt like Edward and Bella needed to be a normal teenage couple for a bit. I owed it to them. I mean... think of poor Bella.. who gets to be Edward's girlfriend... but not kissing him at all! It's torture! But I'm going to keep the story moving along... Please review! You're all awesome!**


	20. Mommy Dearest

**A/N: Please forgive me!!! I know it's been a while since the last update and I'm very sorry. It gets hard for me to type... physically. My shoulder swell read bad causing my left hand to go numb. But it's okay today. So here we go!!! **

**So I wanna wish a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to _Adria AKA Emmett's BabBy Momma_! Her birthday was yesterday and me and _MariposaRican_ and another friend (who isn't here yet but should be) surprised her with Emmett inspired gifts! And she wanted a birthday chapter so here you go! I big fat heart you!!!**

**And a special thanks to _razzledazzle96 _for reminding me to keep my fluff in check! This is a story, not a big bag of cotton!**

**okay! now let's get on with it!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is still not mine!!!**

Mommy Dearest

EPOV

Recovery was on my horizon. Tanya and I had a very significant breakthrough. I'd had the mother of all breakdowns in her office, but I was able to remember it. And along with Dr. Em's session I was able to handle it very well. With Sergeant Jazzy's training my self esteem had shot through the roof and even I had myself wondering where this ego had come from. My body was looking good and muscles I didn't even know I had been showing up. I think Bella was enjoying that part of the training more than I was. And whenever I was feeling too stressed out, Rose and Alice made sure I was able to relax.

Esme and Carlisle were as wonderful as always and Carlisle had surprised me with a new shiny silver Volvo. To make sure that I was fine, Emmett even paid someone to provoke me on a date with Bella. Of course, I was mad… but I wasn't blinded with rage, in total control of myself and was able to recall the entire event with perfect clarity the next day. The past three weeks had been nothing but sheer bliss and utter heaven.

Bella and I went on dates regularly. And there was the not so occasional hot and heavy make out session. I had written her a song, as well as one for all the important people in my life. Though I had yet to play any for them yet. Though Em had wanted me to during the sessions, he decided that I would play them when I "graduated" from therapy. Esme had decided that I needed to learn to cook, and had invited Renee offering her lessons as well.

My friends were over every night and we just goofed around once they had completed their school assignments. I wouldn't allow them to fall behind in their quest to help me. As much as I loved them for it, I couldn't let them worry only about me. They had lives that needed attending. Life had been so wonderful in fact, that in one of sessions with Emmett… he got me to break down and admit out loud that I was feeling worthless and insignificant. Hearing the words out loud, made me feel disgusted with myself. I was neither of those things and it was about time that I realized that.

But, there was a storm looming over that horizon. Just past the setting sun there was a heavy deluge coming my way. I was too blindly happy to see it coming… or to notice that it had never left.

The end of the school year was getting closer and closer. Bella and others were swamped and stressed out with schoolwork. So it was _my _turn to help_ them_. HA! They rushed in my room on a Friday afternoon, schoolbags opened and books were being thrown on the floor before any of them had said a word. I looked at them. They looked at me. I sighed.

"All right… please tell me you all have the same math assignment."

"Have we ever told you just how awesome you are?" Rose asked, batting her eyes at me. I laughed.

"Not recently, no." I smiled. "But because I am so awesome…"

"You're the best, Edward!" Rose gushed. We all sat in circle on the floor of my room. They pulled their math books in front of them, and began our normal weekday afternoon ritual. Some while later, we all heard a glass shatter from downstairs, and a scream from Esme. Em, Jazz and I sped downstairs. Jasper got down stairs before we did.

"ESME! I heard him yell. We got down there with him and what I saw brought me to my knees. There was Esme… knocked out on the floor with blood pooling beneath her head. I felt the familiar red haze wrapping itself around my mind… but I couldn't give into it right now.

"No! Esme! Wake up! Say something!" I said shaking her slightly… my vision blurring.

"What happened?" I heard Rosalie scream from behind me.

"We don't know, Rosie." Emmett said.

"Bella, call Charlie. I'll call Carlisle." Alice said.

"No time to call Carlisle. Let's just get to the hospital ourselves." Jasper said frantically.

"I'll call Dad and tell him what happened and where we're going." Bella said. The next few minutes were rushed and anxious. Rose used her scarf to wrap around Esme's head to help stop the bleeding. Emmett carried her to my Volvo while Bella called her father.

"We're not all going to fit in the car!" Emmett yelled for outside. So that's how Esme ended up laying across Emmett and Jasper's lap… her was in Rosalie's lap. Bella was in the front with Alice in her lap.

"Daddy's on his way. I told him we'd be at the hospital." Bella said as I tore out of my driveway. I arrived to the hospital in record time. I was surprised I could even drive in the manic condition I was in. We all jumped out of the car; Emmett was carrying Esme as we ran in. The receptionist immediately recognized Esme.

"Oh dear!" She screamed. "What happened?"

"We don't know!" I snapped. "She needs to be treated right away." Rose's white scarf was turning pink.

"Of course!" The receptionist said… but before she could page anyone, Carlisle ran in.

"Charlie called telling me you were on your way and…ESME!" He yelled as he saw her lying limp in Emmett's arms. The look in Carlisle's eyes was nearly enough to kill me. I would never wish the amount of fear and pain I saw in his eyes on anyone. "GET A STRECHER!" He yelled at one of the nurses passing by and within seconds, Esme was strapped in and being carted away. I collapsed on one of the chairs.

What could have possibly happened?

BPOV

After a few minutes of waiting, Carlisle came back in to the waiting room. We all stood up in anticipation.

"They sent me away…" He whispered. "I'm too anxious and nervous to treat her properly." He sat down across from us. "Do any of you know what happened?" He asked. It broke my heart to look at his face. His eyes were puffy and red and his face was stained with tears.

"We don't know…" I said, "But Dad will let us know when they find anything. He told me he'd come here and tell us."

"I can't… if Esme… I couldn't bare it." Carlisle sobbed. I heard Rose start sniffling… and I couldn't stop myself from crying too. I felt Edward's body shaking next to me with silent sobs.

"Charlie's coming." Alice snapped up. She ran to the entrance of the hospital just as my father walked in. He went straight to Carlisle. Carlisle stood up.

"How is she?" Daddy asked nervously.

"I don't know… they sent me away. Do you have any news?"

"Someone threw a brick through your window." He said, holding up said brick.

"What?" Edward snapped up.

"Yup. And there was a note attached to the brick." He turned to Edward. "The note was for you." Edward stood up and went to my father. Dad put a bloody piece of paper in Edward's hand. Edward unfolded it and read out loud.

"Edward Masen, no one will love you." He looked up. And fury was taking over his eyes. His green eyes blazed.

"They also found this at the scene." Dad said holding up an old looking piece of paper. Edward stared at it and I saw his eyes change. The fire died out and I saw them steel over. He turned it around so that we could see it. It was a picture and I immediately identified the person in it. Sarah Elizabeth, Edward's mother, was smiling angelically at us. Then recognition washed over like ice cold ocean water.

"Edward!" I gasped and my hands flew to my mouth.

"It's her." Edward said, angrily, though the fear still lived in his eyes. "She tried to kill Esme." He looked up at my Dad. "Did you find her?"

"No. But my men are following a trail in the woods behind your house." The silence was heavy. This was beyond bad. She was back…

EPOV

That _bitch_ was here… and she tried to kill Esme! I stared at the picture of my mother in my hand and held on to her image in order to keep myself from losing it. I felt the anger shaking me. I looked over and saw Carlisle… totally broken. My friends were wracked with fear and worry. And Esme was…

I felt a violent shock rock my body. But I was trying hard to not give in. My losing it would be the exact opposite of helpful. However, it was hard to hold on to myself. Tanya said that my fits of fury were like an escape for me. Rather than deal with the shit in life, I would let the rage handle it for me. It too, was oddly a defense.

"I'll kill her…" I said in spite of myself. My hands curled up into tight fists and the world was fading out in front of me. I wanted to wrap my fingers around that witch's neck and laugh as she exhaled for the last time. I wanted to smile at her corpse and take relief in the fact that she was dead… and that it was me that killed her. It felt as if an earthquake was inside my body, threatening to rip my apart if I didn't let this go. But I wouldn't. I had to control this.

I sat down next to Carlisle. I prayed that no one was noticing how hard I was struggling to keep myself here. I was slipping fast. I could barely Charlie when he spoke. It was like trying to hear a baby crying in a hurricane.

"This is serious business now." Charlie said. "I've alerted all the surrounding areas to watch out for her and apprehend her if possible. I'm going to the office to make my report. I won't be in til late, Bells." He said as he left. Bella came and sat next to me. S

he leaned her head against me and laced her fingers with mine. She had a relaxing effect and I found it easier to control the wrath building in me. I allowed myself to lean against her. I began to hum the song I had written for her, hoping it would relax me further. I heard her sigh.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity. The blankness of the room was oddly soothing. There were no colors… there were no pictures to distract from the plain and simple lines of the walls. The cracks in the ceilings looked like roads. As we sat in silence, I followed a seemingly insignificant crack the started from the far end of the waiting area. I was amazed. Every time it seemed the crack had no more strength to break the ceiling, it would fill itself into a bigger one and then stem out and continue on its own until it couldn't anymore. They cycle repeat itself over and over again until it managed to reach the other end of the room. It was symbolic in a way.

Finally one of the doctors came out. Carlisle rushed up to him.

"Tell me she's okay, Allen! Tell me my wife is fine." He cried. The doctor smiled.

"She is. And she's waiting to see you." That was all Carlisle needed to hear. He was down the hall in a flash. And it seemed it was all I needed to hear too. The rage suddenly disappeared… as if it were never there. All I felt was relief and joy… that Esme was okay. The rest of us made our way to Esme's room. We could hear Carlisle sobbing from down the hall.

"Damn," Emmett said, his voice breaking. "I don't know what I'd do if…" and there was no need for him to finish the statement.

"I know, man." Jasper said… I found it odd that he wasn't trying comfort us or keep us calm like he usually did. But I guess it couldn't work if he couldn't comfort himself. We made our way into her room.

"My darling, I'm so happy you're all right." Carlisle was showering her with kisses. She giggled weakly.

"Carlisle, honey… that tickles."

"As a doctor," he said as he kissed her hand, "I prescribe massive amounts of TLH."

"What's TLH?" She asked.

"Tender Loving Husband. That time I spent thinking that I would never see you again, Esme, I'm not strong enough…" she put her hand on his cheek. Now she was comforting him.

"Lucky for me then, I have 6 angels to take care of me. And one tender loving husband. They probably saved my life." She leaned back against the pillows and winced a bit. Carlisle gingerly stroked her bandaged head and kissed her forehead.

"Come on guys." I said. "Let's give them some time alone." Everyone agreed with me. We silently went back to the waiting area and sat down. I saw Emmett pull Rose closer to him. Jasper did the same to Alice. I could tell we were on the same wavelength. Carlisle was a strong man. But to see him break down like that… If anything were to happen to the women we loved, we'd probably lose it.

Seeing Esme looking pale, bandaged, with a forced smile on her face… I wish it were me. But she was okay. She was going to be fine. I could take solace in that fact. For now. The words from the letter on the brick floated through my mind.

_Edward Masen, no one will love you._

_***************************************************************************************************************_

Esme finally fell asleep. It took nearly the entire hospital staff to tear Carlisle away from her. The pain it caused him to see her hurt was very tangible. It almost as if I was being pelted with bricks.

"Go home, Carlisle." A doctor said.

"I can't. That place isn't home without her there… singing aimlessly to herself, twirling around as she does the housework, using my office to grade papers…" he choked up. I hugged him.

"I feel the same way. I can't go there either." I heard murmured agreements from the others. Renee had been by and she was a total wreck. She had brought a change of clothes for Carlisle knowing he wouldn't want to leave. She thought of everything. I could see where Bella got it from.

But that's how Carlisle and I ended up spending the night in the hospital. I urged the others to go home. After about an hour of arguing, they all went to spend the night at Bella's house. Carlisle had conjured up two cots and placed them in the hall near the door to Esme's room. I was following cracks in the ceiling again and surprisingly enough sleep found me. Carlisle had cried himself to sleep.

I awoke a few hours later surprised to find myself sleeping in a hospital bed. Confused, I walked into the hallway and was met by what seemed like the end of the world. Doctors and officers were running all over the place. There was mass chaos. I asked what was going on but no one would answer me. It looked like a battlefield. I was making my way to Esme's room and I'm sure I went about 8 shades paler when I saw Charlie come out. His eyes were red, as well as his face. He looked at me.

"Edward," he started.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice sounding a lot like a frightened child.

"I don't know how…"

"What's happened to Esme? Where's Carlisle?" My voice was becoming more and more frantic.

"She was attacked last night. She's…"

"She's dead???" I screamed

"No! She's comatose. And Carlisle… the doctors had to sedate him." Tears blurred him from my vision. What??

"But what happened?" I asked through thick tears. My body wanted to collapse. It wanted to crawl into the nearest dusty corner and disappear. This wasn't happening.

"We're not sure. We're waiting on lab results… but there was this…" he handed me a folded piece of paper. I wiped the tears away and took the paper from him. My hands were trembling as I unfolded.

_She's better off dead than with you as a son._

My knees no longer held me. My body collapsed to the ground and the trembling got worse. I felt the tremors course through my body. My heart wasn't pumping blood anymore. It was kerosene now that flowed through my veins. But fueling it all was the pain that was ripping away at my skin leaving me bloody and broken. It was the most stifling pain I had ever felt. Esme was dying. Because she loved me. I would do anything to get away from that. It was my fault. Always my fault.

So I did something that I knew would undo me. I did something that I hoped would finally just finish me off. I gave into the red haze that tainted my vision. I saw Charlie say something. But all I could hear was the pounding of my heart. It pulsated loud and hard in my ears, keeping away any words of love or reason that could further tear me apart. It eventually took over my vision, and then all I saw the red haze. I didn't deserve anything. I was a vile monster that brought nothing but tragedy to the people who were blind enough to love me.

I wasn't strong enough.

I couldn't bear it any longer.

There was a small voice in my mind that begged me to see differently. It begged me to fight my way through the red. And the more I struggled against it… the more it struggled against me. It was a war. The war stormed through my body. And both sides were right. But I didn't care. I stopped struggling altogether. Something would have me. And at this point, I didn't care which.

**A/N: Don't hate me!!! I mean, some of you had to see that coming right? You didn't think she'd just disappear did you?? I promise I'll take my medicine and get the next chapter out faster than I got this one out. Review please!!!! Reviews= love!!!!!!!**


	21. Jagged Glass

**A/N: WOW!!! The response for the last chapter was amazing! I want to thank my awesome reviewers who sent me get-well-soons and overall just said some really nice nice things to make me feel better. This chapter goes out to all of you!!! You're all amazing! Now... This chapter was very hard to write. So forgive me of some of the things don't seem realistic... or too dramatic. I'm normally a very happy person. All this sadness is getting to me. **

**Disclaimer: I've realized it's not Twilight I want to own.... it's Edward.... but sadly, I can't have him either....**

Jagged Glass

APOV

I tried to get up… but there was some kind of wooden beam laying across my body. I looked next to me and was shaken to my core at the sight. Jasper was laying next to me. His eyes wide open… staring at me. His arms reaching brokenly for me. But his baby blue eyes had darkened… there was so shine… there was no light behind them.

"Jazzy," I called, surprised at how weak my voice sounded. Nothing. His odd eyes just stared at me. "Jazz," I called more frantically. Still nothing. I touched his hand; it was ice cold. "JASPER!" I yelled, the realization rising. "No! Not you…" My Jasper was laying dead next to me. The love of my life… He was covered with several beams and big chunks of brick and plaster… most of it was scorched. Most of everything around me was scorched. Where was I? I pulled myself from under the beam, after struggling hard, and looked around. Amidst the debris, I saw my friends littered around, in various poses of death. Blood was everywhere.

"NO!" I screamed. "Why? What's happening?" There was Emmett… there was Rose… and there was Bella… and there was…

No… wait. Edward wasn't here. Why wasn't he here? Suddenly I felt something hit me from behind. I hit the ground hard and saw _her_ hovering over me with a thick piece of pipe in her hand.

"What have you done?" I screamed at her. She smiled.

"Shut up!" She said and kicked me hard in the ribs.

"NO!! NO DON'T!!" I screamed as she came closer to hurt me some more. "EDWARD!!! HELP ME!!" I yelled. If he wasn't here, maybe he could come save me.

"Edward won't be able to save you. He can't help anyone." She laughed. Panic gripped at my heart. Edward was dead… because he…

"NO!!! NO!!! EDWARD!!!" The ground started rocking. I felt myself shaking… and then the scene started to change….

I opened my eyes and was staring into a shiny ocean of baby blue.

"Alice! Wake up! It's just a dream! Wake up, baby." Jasper was hovering over me, shaking me slightly. And he was very alive.

"JAZZY!" I cried, sitting up and throwing my arms around his neck. "Oh, Jasper…"

BPOV

After Jasper woke up Alice and calmed her down, she told us about her dream. Rose gasped.

"That wasn't a dream, Alice. You were having a vision!" I froze.

"No! It can't be true!" Alice cried. I felt my knees melt from under me. If Alice was right…

"It won't happen. I promise you it won't happen." Jasper soothed her. He held her close to him and rocked back and forth a bit.

We were all silent for a while. Then Mom burst into the room with the cordless house phone… her eyes were red and puffy.

"It's Esme… she was attacked in the hospital." There was huge collective light bulb that flashed over our heads. Its light was painful and blinding. As per usual, Emmett got us moving and functioning. Rose made the right phone calls and the rest us followed Jasper's instructions.

Something scary was waiting to greet us at the hospital. I just knew. I knew Esme wasn't dead… but I knew she was hurt…badly. And I knew that neither Carlisle nor Edward would take it very well. And if Alice's vision was right, then Maybe Edward already….

"Bella, let's go!" Rose shouted, tugging on my arm. We ran through the hospital doors and the receptionist let us pass without any preamble. We ran like one body toward Esme's room…

There was Dad. He was slumped on a chair in front of Esme's room…clearly distraught. He looked up as he heard us coming. His face was drawn and pale and he looked way past exhausted.

"Dad!" I knelt down beside him. "What's happened?"

"Bells," he put his hand on my head. "All of you. I need you to listen to me now. There is a mad woman on the loose and I need you all to be very careful. She is ruthless and had no qualms about hurting someone who could not defend herself. Esme is laying in there… in a coma because of that woman. I want you all to be very careful out there." We all nodded.

"For heaven's sake, Charlie," Mom said. "What happened to Esme?"

"Her IV was spiked with heavy doses of Morphine. And I mean severely heavy doses. The doctors are surprised Esme is still alive. No one knows how she got in here undetected." Dad ran his hand through his hair. I knew he was blaming himself.

"It's not your fault, Charlie." Mom soothed him.

"Now's not the time for comforting me, Renee. Carlisle is like a 100 car pileup engulfed in flames right now. The man is beside himself. He doesn't know what to do. And then…" Dad's eyes flashed to me.

"Where's Edward?" I asked frantically.

"After we found him…"

"Found him?"

"He took it bad. He flipped out and ran for it."

After Edward had heard that Esme was attacked, he lost it. Dad said that for about 5 minutes, he just stared off into space… but then he came to and just ran for it. Dad assured us that he didn't hurt anyone. He didn't want to. Edward wanted to… "He was so angry and sad… If we hadn't found him in time…"

My mind felt like it was spiraling into my chest. He promised me. He promised me that he wouldn't ever want to do that.

"Did he…?" I couldn't speak the words. No one could.

"He'll be all right, Bella. He'll be fine. He's okay now."

"What did he do?" Emmett asked. I turned around to look at him. His face was pale and scared. I'd never seen Emmett looked so scared ever. Nor had I ever seen Rosalie look so defeated. Alice was shaking her head in denial…as if she could will her vision away. Not even Jasper could calm her down. Dad let out a breath I didn't realize he was holding.

"He wanted to die, Emmett. That's all he would say to me. 'Let me die, Charlie. Please let me die.' If I hadn't stopped him, Edward would be dead right now." He said with his voice shaking. Dad cared a lot for Edward and it was easy to see how shaken he was. Mom let out a strangled sob. My body just went numb… as if it were telling me that numbness would be my state if Edward didn't exist. Emmett fell to his knees.

"And Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

"He was heavily sedated by the other doctors. He should be waking up soon. But I'm hoping Esme wakes up first. I've never seen anyone…" his voice broke.

"Please, Charlie." Mom said. "Don't say anything else. Come on, kids." She said to the rest of us. "Let's go wait." We followed her like hollow toy soldiers. We moved like robots, but looked like ghosts. I felt like a ghost too. I'm sure we all did. Esme was dying. Carlisle was…dying in a way too. And Edward blamed himself so he wanted to die too.

Everything had been wonderful. Edward was practically healed. He had a loving home and a loving family. And now… a sob ripped through my body. No one came to comfort me… no one's arms held me. Everyone else was indulging in premature grieving too. We cried. We cried like babies. I leaned against whoever was sitting next to me. I didn't even know who it was. It was too small to be Emmett… and too tall to be Alice. It didn't really matter. Whoever it was was too busy giving in to their sadness to notice me.

The world became a myriad of wet colors for a long time. The tears were relentless. I couldn't stop even when I told myself I was being silly. Because I was. Everyone would be okay. Everyone would be fine. Esme would wake up. Edward would wake up and not remember anything so he could be spared any of the mental pain this would bring him. Carlisle would be fine once Esme was fine. So why was I crying?

Why the hell was I crying?

"Why the hell are we crying?" I said to everyone. A small heat was traveling up my spine, straightening me. Everyone looked at me and I was met with several pairs of puffy, red eyes. "No one is dead. There is no reason for us to be grieving like this! Esme is going to be just fine! And Edward is too. And Carlisle will be fine as long as they are! So just why are we crying?" I was mad now. Why was I being so weak? Why were we all being so weak? Jasper wiped his tears away…feeding from my anger.

"She's right! When Esme wakes up, she doesn't wanna see a bunch of people crying! We have to make sure that room is spotless for her when she wakes up!" Rose stood up next to be her brother… who turned out to be who I was leaning on.

"She'll hate those curtains… and she'll wanna see flowers and balloons in her room." She said still fighting the tears.

"I'll buy the curtains," Alice said in a weak version of her normal spunky self.

"Jazz and I will get flowers." Emmett said. He smiled my way.

"And I'll get her something nice to wear. Bells, you and Rose stay behind and do something about her hair." Mom said. She gave me a big hug and whispered, "Thank you, honey."

We split to go do our self assigned tasks. Rose went with me to Esme's room. We stopped cold at the sight. She was laying motionless in the bed… her chest rising and falling slightly with small breaths. Machines were monitoring her heart. The beeps were ominous and relieving at the same time. She was ghostly pale… it was almost enough to get me to start crying again.

"Well," Rose said, her voice breaking, "Let's make her look pretty for Carlisle. You do her hair. I got makeup." Rose and I worked silently on Esme. I untangled her long thick caramel hair and loosely braided it down her back… the way she wore when she was gardening. Rose just put some color back on to her face. Esme never wore heavy makeup. Sometimes it seemed as if she weren't wearing any at all. The boys came in with about 10 large flower arrangements and placed them around the room. Alice hung very pretty deep purple lace curtains on the windows and Mom came in with burgundy stain pajamas for us to change Esme into. After we were done, it was a lot easier to be in the room with her. It looked like she was merely sleeping from a long night.

I stepped back to admire our handiwork and bumped into someone. I turned around to see who it was… and I immediately wished I hadn't. I was met with the single most heartbreaking sight. Carlisle. He was a shadow of the man I had grown to love and respect like a second father. I let out a little gasp and his swollen eyes came down on me. I wanted to cry. Oh my God. I had never wanted to cry more in my life then just now. When Carlisle forced a half smile at me… it tore my chest apart.

"Hey kids," He said as he scanned the room. A phantom of a real smile played on his face and I felt the sadness lift some. "Thank you. She'd be really happy." We stared at him in silence. Jasper melted from his spot and gave Carlisle a hug.

"She wouldn't want to see you like this." A few tears escaped Carlisle's eyes.

"You're right. She wouldn't… but I can't… nothing seems worth it… I keep thinking I'm going to lose her… and I can't… I'm not strong enough for this. I feel like I've failed her." The flood gates opened. Carlisle was crying openly… he was so scared that he was going to lose Esme…The love of his life. The rest of us were trying hard not to cry. Carlisle needed strength. "And now, Edward… I couldn't bear it." He let go of Jasper and sat down next to Esme's bed. He took her cold, pale hand into his cold, pale hands. "Please don't leave me, Esme. I can't keep going if you're not there to push me. Life's not worth living if you're not by my side. Please don't leave me."

I looked away. Rose had her head buried in Emmett's chest. Jasper had left the room… but I could hear him sobbing outside. Alice was sitting next to Carlisle, trying to reassure him. I looked over at Emmett, who opened an arm for me. I ran to him.

"Oh Emmett," I whispered. "This is too much…" I had never seen anyone suffer like Carlisle was suffering right now. Eventually Carlisle had cried himself out and fell asleep sitting next to Esme. We left them alone.

"I wanna go see Edward." I said.

"You go alone first. We'll be in a few minutes after you." Emmett said. I walked to the room Dad told me Edward was in. I was expecting to find him asleep… but when I opened his door, he was sitting up and was wide awake and his face was very blank. I took a few steps in hoping the sound would make him look up. But nothing. I took a deep breath and walked to him and sat down on the chair next to the bed. He didn't look at me. It was if as he was sleeping with his eyes open while sitting up.

"Edward," I whispered. Nothing. Maybe I should be expecting this… he was probably in shock. Hopefully he wouldn't remember anything of what happened… I reached over to touch his hand, but he pulled it away.

"Don't touch me." He whispered. I heard pain and anger in his voice. I didn't listen to him. I lifted my hand to caress his face. When my skin met his, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He seemed to lean into my touch for a few seconds, but then straightened up and pulled away from me. I felt cold.

EPOV

I was alive. I was in a hospital bed… I'm sure I had lost blood… and my chest was throbbing. But I didn't ask for any pain medication. I needed this pain. I needed something to keep my connected to how fucking stupid I was.

I was wallowing in my pool of self loathing when Bella walked into my room. She knew. Of course she knew. If I did, I'm sure she knew. I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want anyone to see me. I was a fucking monster. A stupid one.

"Edward," she whispered leaning forward a bit.

"Don't touch me." I said to her. She shouldn't be near me. Shame was contagious and I was wearing it like a badge of honor. She ignored me and touched my cheek with her small, warm hand. And I gave into her. I closed my eyes and let her scent attack me. My Bella… I felt as if just her touch could purify me. She had no clue just how much power that one touch had. She had to power to strengthen me… she had to power to destroy me. I pulled away from her suddenly. I saw the stung look on her face.

"Please don't pull away from me." She pleaded with me. Oh what she didn't know.

"Leave me alone." I said. I didn't mean it. I wanted her to stay so badly… but I didn't want anyone to see me after what I had done. I was the ultimate coward, the supreme loser. She shook her head at me.

"You don't mean that." Of course she knew that.

"I do." I lied. "I don't want anyone here." That was true.

"Not even me?" She whispered.

"Especially not you! Bella, I know what I did. I remember everything."

BPOV

What? He remembered?? He wasn't supposed to remember! How could be so calm about this? What could this mean for him?

"But why would that make you… not want to see me?"

"I always want to see you. I don't want you to see me."

"Why?" I asked defiantly.

"Because I'm ashamed!" he yelled. "I'm ashamed of myself! I gave into the anger and hatred I felt just to have an escape from a very harsh reality. Then I go and try to…" he looked at me. His eyes were swimming in unshed tears.

"You were afraid… you didn't know how to react…"

"Stop trying to justify me! I was stupid and wrong and I know it!"

"No, Edward. You were not. You were confused and angry. You didn't know how to take such a devastating blow. That's all." I leaned forward to soothe him but he pulled away from me. "Stop pulling away from me!" I started crying now. "Please let me comfort you."

"No! I don't deserve it." Now he was crying. He looked right at me. I staggered underneath his tortured gaze.

"What do you deserve then, huh?" I asked pulling away from him now. He wanted to play this game then? I could play too. He looked away from me.

"Hate me… please just hate me. Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me that I'm a shameful coward. Tell me that you hate me and that I make your life hell on earth." I melted. I wasn't expecting this. I could tell that one some insane level, that that's what he honestly wanted. But I couldn't give him that. I wouldn't give him that.

"I could never hate you… I love you, Edward."

"Damn it, Bella…" he whispered. I saw him flinch a bit.

"No. I won't hate you. I just can't do it."

"I tried to kill myself!" He cried. His sobs cut through me. I hadn't expected him to admit it. "I just wanted to die…"

"How?" I asked bravely. He looked up at me, surprised.

"What?"

"Tell me how."

"No…"

"Tell me, Edward! Tell me how! So I know how to do it too." His face paled.

"You couldn't…"

"When I told you that I loved you…I told you that I loved you like Juliet loved Romeo. When Juliet found Romeo dead… she couldn't bear to live without him… so she killed herself too. Edward, if you die… I'm going with you." I grabbed his face and this time he didn't pull away. "Now tell me how." He didn't break my stare. But he grabbed one of my hands away from his face and brought it to his chest. He pressed my hand hard under his own. He flinched a bit.

EPOV

I pressed her hand harder into my chest. The pain ripped through me… but it made the memories fresher. And she wanted to know. I allowed my mind to dip into the memories it would never repress. I closed my eyes and let my memories spill.

_I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want to feel this. I fell happily into the anger that wanted me. I ran off from Charlie quickly. I wanted to die. That was the only to detach myself from the unbearable pain I was feeling. I ran through the hallways of the hospital…there was a voice somewhere in my mind telling me to stop running. "It doesn't have to be this way!" It shouted at me. "Yes it does! It's the only way!" I shouted back. I didn't have much time, and the urgent sense of despair was wrapping itself around me… a lot like a snake squeezing the life out of its prey. I couldn't help thinking that the feeling was familiar. I let it have its way with me. _

"_Die, Edward." It said to me. "You're a monster… and monsters deserve to die."_

_That's what I wanted. I wanted to die. I couldn't bear this life. I had to die... but how? I didn't have time. I knew they were chasing me. I ran into an empty room. I looked around frantically. Nothing! Damn it! I went up to the window and punched the glass as hard as I could just out of the sheer frustrated rage I felt. It left an unsatisfying sting on my knuckles. No blood. This wouldn't kill me. I looked down and noticed a large jagged piece of glass. Inspiration struck quickly. _

_I grabbed the glass and impaled myself in the chest as hard as I could. I was going to rip my heart out. They couldn't save me from that. It would be too late. I jabbed the glass further into my chest. This would do it. The pain was intense. It knocked the air out of me. And it was immediately hard to breathe. Blood started to pour out of the wound and the pain was inhibiting me. But I had to… I had to… I couldn't take this anymore. I wasn't meant to be happy if I caused those that I loved tragedy. I pushed the glass in deeper, the pain was nearly unbearable. And that's what I wanted. I needed to suffer before death took me. _

_Therapists say that suicide attempts are pleas for help. I guess the first time… as gruesome as it was…was a plea for help. This time wasn't. This wasn't a plea for anything. I wanted to die. That's it. Plain and simple. I hated Edward Masen. I hated him wholly and absolutely. I wanted to destroy myself until not even memories were left._

_Charlie rushed in just as I fell to the floor. _

_"Edward, no!" He lifted me up as if I didn't weigh anything. He shouted instructions at someone. His voice sounded warped and distant._

_"Let me die, Charlie. Please let me die." I said with all the strength I could. It was getting harder to breathe. Death was coming. There were tunnels, no lights, no friendly voices to guide me home. It was just me and the darkness._

_"Stay with me, Edward. I'm getting you to someone that can help."_

_"No…" my voice getting weaker. "Please let me die. I don't wanna keep going. I 'm done. Please let me die, Charlie."_

_"Don't talk. Save your strength."_

_"Don't save me. I'm not worth it." Why do you care about me? I wanted to ask him? Why do you bother? I deserve this. I just wanted to die. This was taking too long. He said something else. But I couldn't hear it. Darkness opened it arms to me. And I willingly let it embrace me._

I heard sobbing. I opened my eyes and was Bella's drowning brown ones.

"And I'm ashamed. Because I didn't succeed… I'm still alive and all I wanted to do was die!" I held her hand hard against my wound. It hurt so bad… but it was a reminder of how stupid I was, and a reminder that I was alive. She tried to pull her hand away when she noticed it was hurting me. "No. I need it to hurt."

"Edward…" her sobbing shook her, "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the worthless bastard that needs to die." When had I thought that before? She shook her head hard at me.

"No! You can't think like that! You can't!"

"But I do, Bella." I was holding back my tears. The pressure was causing more pain in my chest. "I just can't… bring any more tragedy to Esme or anyone. I want to die." A sob escaped me.

"No! I won't let you! Edward, you don't mean this." She took her hand off my chest and sat in the bed with me. She trapped me in an embrace and my arms involuntarily wrapped around her. "You're confused… you're hurting… and you… you… Edward, you…" she choked up. "You tried to take yourself away from me! What can I do to make want to stay?" I melted into her. I didn't want to answer. Because my answer would eventually hurt her. She needed to be away from me. I wasn't good for her. I was going to bring tragedy and despair into her life. But as I had proved, I was selfish… and I was a coward.

"Love me…" I said in spite of myself. "I can't go on without you. And I'm sorry…" I let the pressure that was building up in my chest go. "I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough for you. But I can't do it without you. I'm so sorry. But I can't help I how I feel. Help me. Please help me." I pleaded with her. And the rightness fell in place. I needed her. I would always need her. "I love you."

"I'll always love you, Edward. I'll never leave you. Never. Rest now. I'll be here." She laid me back onto the bed and snuggled into me. I held close her to me. The pain in my chest throbbed insanely. But I would keep it as a reminder of how stupid I was. For a few minutes I was weak. And I almost took my life because of that weakness. My body was tired and I fell into sleep quickly. I felt okay now… but I knew this was far from over.

I would have to learn to deal with this. As long as that witch was alive and out there… the ones I loved were in danger. She was after them to make me suffer. And it was working. But I would stop her.

So as I lay there in my hospital bed, holding Bella close to me, I vowed that I would rid the world of that horrid bitch… or that I would die trying.

**A/N: I know I know! Forgive me! It's a bit of a cliffie... but it's not as high this time! I'm trying very hard to update sooner. **

**So, I cried while I was writing this. I've never had thoughts like that... but I know people who have and it's scary. I hope none of you or anyone you know have been touched by anything like this... and if you have, I'm very sorry. Big hugs for everyone. Review please! Lift me out of this sad sad place.**


	22. Icebergs

**A/N: I didn't get many reviews for the last chapter... *pouts* Oh well. I guess that means that some people were upset with me for what I had Edward do... The characters take over. They're like voices in my head. I swear I'm not crazy though.**

**But okay... moving on. I present to you some fluff. We've skipped some time here. The sadness was getting to me and I needed something fluffy to rest my head on. I've also had a really trying week. I know... excuses excuses. But please forgive me if this chapter is a bit out of sync with the others. This chapter is dedicated to all those that reviewed last chapter! YOU'RE ALL AWESOME!!!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I would find a way to bring Edward to life. (Bet someone wants me to own it now, huh???)**

Icebergs

EPOV

Emmett was standing over me when I woke up. His face was unreadable. His posture was rigid and it made him seem several times bigger than he was.

"You know," he said when I had opened my eyes. I heard the latent fury in his voice. "I should kick your ass right now." He seethed. I was about to speak when he cut me off. "I should pull you off that bed and beat the shit out of you so damn hard that your great grandchildren will be born with bruises." Oh shit. He was angry at me. I was about to ask why… but he cut me off again. "How the fuck could you do that? Why?" Oh…

"Emmett, I…"

"What the fuck, man? Didn't I tell you to come to me if you wanted to do that? Didn't I tell you that I would do it for you? Huh?" His voice shook the room.

"I… I wasn't thinking…"

"You made me a fucking promise! You made us all a fucking promise!" He yelled at me. I shrunk back a bit.

"I know… I'm sorry." He heaved a sigh.

"What the hell was running through your mind?"

"I don't wanna relive it, okay? It's hard… and I was stupid. I know. I'm sorry. But you don't understand." I was starting to choke up and pressure began building in my chest again. "Please don't make me go there again." I whispered. Emmett's expression softened. He sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"Okay, I won't. But damn it, Edward! I thought we were helping you! Do you have any clue the state we're all in? Alice hasn't spoken since Charlie told us! And every time Rose opens her mouth to talk she cries. And I… " The pressure got heavier.

"I was a selfish bastard… I know. I wasn't thinking about anyone. I just wanted…"

"You don't have to go there, okay? You have to remember that no matter what anyone says… no matter what happens, we're with you."

"Thanks… and I am sorry." I looked down and flinched when the motion pulled the muscles in my chest. "Where's Bella?"

"I sent her on a pointless errand so I could yell at you. She should be back soon." He said with a big smile. I shook my head.

"Your genius never ceases to amaze me."

"You can bow down to me later." He said smugly.

"And Esme?" I asked hesitantly.

"I don't know…" and just as he was about to say more, we heard someone yelling down the hall.

"ESME'S AWAKE! SHE'S AWAKE!!!!" It was Rose running through the hallway. Emmett and I looked at each other for all of two seconds. He took off running toward her room and despite the pain I felt and how tired I was, I did too. These were fatigues of the flesh. They didn't really matter. If Esme was awake and well… all would be well with me. Suddenly, my legs were knocked out from under me. I was in a wheelchair, being rolled at top speed toward Esme's room. I turned around to see who it was.

"Glad you're still with us, Edward!" Jasper said cheerfully. "You were a selfish bastard… but I forgive you. I would yell at you more… but you were running to slow and I'd like to see Esme sometime today, wouldn't you?" I laughed. "That's what I thought! FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!" He ran me to Esme's room… but the doorway was already full of people.

There were general exclamations coming from Bella, Alice and Rosalie. Emmett made his way through and gave her a huge hug. Jasper left me in the doorway and hugged Esme too. I stood up.

"Esme!" I said. The other made way for me and threw myself into my loving mother's open arms. "I so happy you're okay." I bawled. I felt like I was four all over again. I remembered the day I had asked her to be my Mommy… that was how I felt now.

"Edward, honey…" she cooed. I was happy to hear that her voice didn't sound weak… just sleepy.

"I'm so sorry. This was all my fault… she wouldn't have hurt you if…"

"Shhh… it's not your fault at all sweetie. She gave me a choice."

"What?" I snapped up. She winked at me.

"I'll tell everyone soon. I need Charlie to be here." She kissed my forehead. "She didn't hurt you did she?" She asked, her voice dripping with worry. I winced internally. She would be so angry with me. I couldn't tell her… but as if to save me some time, Carlisle came into the room. I immediately moved away Esme… knowing he would rush to her. As his eyes took her in, he looked as if he had come back to life.

"Oh Esme!" He ran to her and knelt beside her. "You're awake!" She giggled.

"That seems to be the diagnosis, Dr. Cullen." She took a good look at him and then frowned. "Carlisle! Look at you!" I heard Bella chuckle.

"I'm sorry… I just didn't have any motivation to do anything. I thought I wasn't ever going to get you back. I was a ghost without you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again! I love you so much."

"I love you too…" she nuzzled against him for a bit. "Now go get cleaned up so I get snuggle with you properly!" She playfully reprimanded. It did my heart good to see she was totally fine and acting like her old self.

Then she opened her arms for me. I felt as if the seams keeping my body together were coming apart. I was horrible for what I did… because it would have hurt her. Esme was an angel among a world on unworthy humans. No being could love as wholly as she did. It seemed impossible. I embraced her. She could tell I was going to crying again.

"Shhh. No more tears, honey. We're okay." The others remained quiet, but the atmosphere was tangibly happier.

"Esme, I'm glad to see you're okay!" Charlie said as he walked into the room. _Please don't ask about me._ I thought frantically. He gave me a meaningful look but didn't say anything to me… yet.

"Oh good! Charlie I'm glad you're here!" Esme exclaimed happily.

"Really now?"

"Yes. I have information about my attacker." Charlie's happy demeanor evaporated and Charlie had left the room. Police Chief Swan now took his place.

"What do you know?"

EsmePOV

"Sit down everyone… it's an interesting story." The children and Charlie sat around the room as best they could. I was about to start speaking when Carlisle came in, looking like my wonderful husband again. I smiled at him, but he looked at everyone else and immediately knew that he needed to sit down. "It was after everyone had gone off to sleep…"

_Everyone must have been asleep already. I had woken up from a long nap and it was dark. I figured it must have been nighttime. I was still feeling a bit disorientated and the medicine was really doing its job. So it took me a bit of time to notice that there was an unfamiliar person in my room. I sat up to see how it was._

_"Don't strain yourself." It was a woman._

_"Who are you?" I asked, my voice felt thick. She came closer to me and the realization set in quickly. "It's you! What are you doing here?" She smiled…tenderly at me._

_"So much like my Sarah Elizabeth." _

_"What do you want with me?"_

_"I threw that brick at you." Her voice seemed repentant somehow._

_"I know." I was trying to desperately reach the call button. My voice wasn't strong enough to scream for help._

_"It was a warning. And I've disconnected the call button." She said, holding up the wires. So much for that. _

_"Leave me! You've caused enough damage here!" I yelled without success._

_"Listen to me! I don't want to harm you. It's that Edward." She hissed his name. "He'll be the death of you. Just like he killed my Sarah Elizabeth. I can save you." The repentance in her voice evaporated. It was replaced with fear and loathing._

_"Go away."_

_"Take him out of your life. There's still time. He's a monster. He'll kill you! I know he will! He's done nothing but destroy my life and the life of my beloved daughter. You have a choice. I can help you. There's still time!" I stayed silent. She seemed to take that as encouragement to continue. "Let me take him far away and make sure he can never hurt anyone again." I gasped._

_"You won't lay a hand on him."_

_"It's for your own good. You have a husband that loves and you teach other worthy children. You can't be stupid enough to love him!" She yelled at me._

_"Well I am! I love Edward as if I were the woman that bore him! He is a wonderful child and you will not harm him! I will not allow it! You will not harm my baby!" Her face fell and her eyes glazed over as if she were transported to a distant memory._

_"Then you are better off dead! I'm saving your life!"_

_"Go to hell!" I yelled at her, very unlike me._

_"Esme Cullen, you are condemning yourself! He brings only suffering and tragedy to every life he touches!"_

_"You're confusing that ability with your own. Edward has brought nothing but joy to my life. He is the child that I could never have. I was blessed the day he asked me to be his mother." I tried to scream. Someone needed to hear me._

_"Then you leave me no choice." She pulled a syringe out of her pocket and went to my IV. "You and all the others that are dumb enough to love that worthless monster! My Sarah Elizabeth died because she loved him! If she had listened to me, she'd still be here with me. But you are just as foolish as he was. You and those friends of his. I'll have to save you all myself!" _

"_You witch! Don't you harm my children!" I tried to get to out of the bed, but the movements made me dizzy._

"_You'll thank me. Just remember that this was your choice. Your so-called children won't be as lucky."_

_And with that she pumped the contents of the syringe into my IV. I had no clue what it was… but pretty quickly I started to feel the effects of whatever it was._

"_Where are you going?" I asked weakly, my words already starting to slur together. She was planning on my being dead shortly. If I lived, I could share everything she said and have her reign of terror ended._

"_I won't be far. I want to see Edward suffer when he wakes up to see he's caused your death." She smiled wickedly at me. "I'll drive mad with suffering and loss. Just like he's done to me."_

_She left the room without a second glance and then blackness took over._

Carlisle's face was pale. Charlie's face was purple. It seemed like most of the faces around me had changed color.

"Thank you, Esme. I'll have my men search the area now." Charlie got up and flew out of the room.

"It won't do any good." Jasper said. "If she stuck around, she knows you're not dead and probably took off already."

"Oh no… she's still around." Rosalie added. "She wants to finish what she started."

"Don't fear." I said soothingly. "She won't hurt you."

"No." Edward said, frighteningly calm. "She won't hurt anyone."

BPOV

Esme was let out of the hospital the same day she woke up and Edward was let out a few days after. Edward had confessed to her what he did, and it tore Esme apart. Hearing her blame herself made it hard to believe that Edward and Esme weren't related by blood. Edward refused therapy. He insisted that there was only one thing that would heal and that there was nothing anyone could do about it except for him. He seemed fine and pretty much everything went back to "normal" after that whole mess. So I believed him. The rest of us threw ourselves back into our schoolwork. Emmett was staying after school for about three days every week and wouldn't tell us why. He would brush it off and say it was nothing. Jasper didn't push it. He said that he was happy for one less thing to stress over and we all followed his lead.

The next couple of weeks followed with a peaceful tension. We were looking over our shoulders every minutes and Dad came home late every night.

"I won't rest until that psycho is put behind bars." He would say to Mom every morning before he left for work. Though nothing was threatening us physically, her mind games were exhausting us. Alice wasn't having any "visions" or "dreams" so Rose took that as a sign to relax a bit. Alice was still as nervous as a groundhog on a sunny day. Edward didn't say much about the matter. But what did say was scaring me.

"Don't worry, Bella." He said to me. It had been two week since he left the hospital. He didn't want any sort of procedure to remove the scar on his chest. We were laying close to each other on his huge plush bed. "I promise you that one day this will all be over permanently." His dark words made me shiver.

"I'm not worried for me. I'm worried for you."

"Don't be." He whispered. "I'll be okay. I'm done being stupid." He took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his wound. "This was the dumbest thing I've ever done and I'll never forgive myself for it. That's why I refused when Carlisle suggested I have surgery to have the scar disappear. It's going to stay with me. I wanna look at it every morning so I can remember what a fuck up I've been."

"Edward," I started, but he put a finger to my lips.

"But never again. I'm done being an idiot, a self centered prick. I'm not worried about me anymore." He smiled.

"You aren't?" His… enlightenment astounded me. He went from hating himself to nearly total recovery almost instantly. "How did you…?"

"Come around?" He asked. I nodded. "I've had a few brushes with near death experiences lately. And not just my own. And it wakes you up." He pulled me closer to him. "And I'm sorry. I was a selfish moron. But no more. It's about time I stop being the martyr. I know what I have to do."

"And what's that?" I whispered.

"A few things. One, I've got to let go of my past. I'll always love my parents, but I've got to let them rest in peace. Another thing, which I'm sure you'll enjoy," He said with a mischievous smile in his voice. "I'm going to love you. Bella Swan, I'm going to love you so much you won't know what to do with yourself." I felt my face get hot. It seemed that there were several meanings to that statement.

"Oh, I would enjoy that very much." I giggled. "But those are two things."

"The others don't really matter. At least not yet." I shivered against him. His words sent fear through me.

"Don't be afraid," he said as if he could read my mind. I started to run my fingers through his hair and he hummed happily, as I knew he would. "You really have no clue how good that feels." His eyes closed. I giggled. I knew if I kept this up he would fall to sleep soon.

"I have some idea." I said.

"Do you?" He mumbles sleepily.

"Mm-hmm. Now go to sleep." His eyes opened slowly and I was ensnared by his emerald gaze.

"I don't want to. I want to stay awake and stare at you some more." He smiled and I felt my heart stutter… almost as if it had forgotten the steps to my heartbeat.

"Why?"

"Because you're incredibly beautiful and I can't believe I haven't driven you away yet. I figured you'd be tired with the whole 'poor tortured soul' bit by now." He whispered. I blushed.

"I'm still here." I whispered back. He kissed my forehead. It had been such a long time since he's kissed me… anywhere… at all. My body tingled with the sensation of it. I sighed. "I love you, Edward."

"And I love you, my Bella. I love you so much it staggers me." He put his hands under my chin and titled my face up slightly. His eyes were dark, but liquid. He leaned toward me slowly and kissed me. My hands were trapped in between us, resting on his chest. He kissed me slowly yet passionately. I could feel his heartbeat speed up a bit as his kissing began to get hungrier. I instinctively pressed myself closer to him, fisting his shirt. He flinched and I pulled away.

"I'm sorry." I had all but forgotten about his healing wound.

"It's okay. I forgot it was there." His grinned wickedly at me and flipped us over so that I was on top of him.

"What's gotten into you?" I laughed.

"I've been ignoring the 16 year old teenager that I am for a while." He licked his lips unconsciously and his hands starting trailing down my back. "Now," he started kissing my neck… rendering me completely powerless. "Where were we?"

EPOV

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in long time. Bella was laying next to me. I laughed to see that she was _still_ blushing. I gave into my hormones a bit and she was surprised and I'm sure secretly thrilled to see that side of me. I knew I was. I couldn't wait for life to simple like that someday. For Bella and I to be able to make-out like a couple of hormone-dominated teenagers. Ahh… I seriously couldn't wait for that. I tried to get up but Bella wasn't having that.

"No…" she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

"I have to get up." I whined playfully.

"No…Stay with me." She snuggled up closer to me. It was hard to argue with that.

"I need to get up, Bella."

"No you don't. You need to stay with me. You need to lay right here with me." She nuzzled into my chest. She had effectively won the argument. I embraced her.

"You don't fight fair."

"At the risk of sounding cliché, all is fair in love and war." She chuckled slightly. "It's been so long since we've just been with each other."

She was right. With the ridiculous way life was playing out for us, we'd been neglecting each other amorously. I needed some time with her. I needed some time away from the thoughts that paraded through my mind. I was absolutely sincere when I told Bella that I was done being stupid. I had been entirely dumb about the whole thing.

Yes, it was traumatic. Yes, I was hurting. Yes, my life was turned upside down. Yes, my entire life was a lie. But those were things that affected _me. _Those were _my _issues. I had no reason to drag those around into it. No one had to suffer because of the horrible things that happened to me. It was selfish, it was stupid, and it was going to stop.

"You're right, and I'm sorry, Bella. I've been too wrapped up in what's going on with my life to give you any attention. I've been very unfair to you." I kissed her hair.

"It's not your fault…" she started.

"Yes it is. Don't baby me. I know I've been absorbed with myself for a while. The biggest proof is that gash in my chest. It's my fault. I have to stop being such a drama queen."

"Well then I forgive you."

"Thank you."

We lay curled into each other for a long time. Suddenly, Flight of the Bumblebee started blaring from Bella's phone. I recognized Bella's ringtone for Alice.

"Morning, Alice." Bella pushed the button to put the pixie on speaker.

"Bella!" She sounded frantic. "She's got Jasper!"

"We're on the way!" Bella shouted. She looked at me, probably expecting to see fiery wrath and crippling panic in my eyes. Yes, there was anger… but anger because that bitch was still breathing. And yes, there was fear, but fear for the well-being of my friend.

The familiar ire was not surfacing. My vision was not hazing into the shades of red I knew so well. And I loved that. I was in total control of myself. It would be over soon. I knew it would be over soon.

**A/N: Yes, Yes I know. Another cliff hanger. But it's better this way, trust me. The story is winding down to a close and there are only a few chapters left. So who's glad Edward's going to stop being a drama queen? *raises hand* And who's wondering what the hell he's going to do? *doesn't raise hand* I know! heheheheheeee.... Oh, to _razzledazzle96_ I didn't realize that your PM function was disabled until AFTER I replied to your review... BEEP BEEP! But I'll answer you!**

**I'm hoping to update faster... Review please! Reviews make my world a little brighter!**


	23. Fixing Things

**A/N: Please PLEASE forgive me! I know I don't get the chapters out as often as I should... but I do try. This chapter is very long... I think my longest yet. **

**This chapter goes out to _Ekat Izzy_ who is very awesome and deserves it! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight... I would love my job.**

Fixing Things

EPOV

Neither Carlisle nor Esme were home that morning. _How eerily convenient_, I thought. Bella and I rushed out of the house as fast as possible. We couldn't waste any time. We had to get to Alice's house and…. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

"Bella, wait!" For once she was running faster than me. The healing wound in my chest made running a slight difficulty. Bella whirled around to a stop and surprisingly didn't fall.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she got back to me.

"I'm fine." I said after a few mildly painful deep breaths. "But something's wrong."

"What, what is it?"

"Alice called us to tell us Jasper's in trouble right?"

"Right."

"Wouldn't Rosalie, who is Jasper's sister, who lives with Jasper… know this first?"

"Right…" She said a bit confused, beginning to pick up on my train of thought.

"And Rose hasn't called us…"

"So what are you thinking?"

"I think Jasper's fine. I think Alice is the one in danger." I said just as Bella's phone rang again… it was Alice. Bella opened her phone and put Alice on speaker.

"Alice!" Bella shouted.

"Shhh! Don't scream. I need you to listen to everything I'm about to tell you, and not talk." She was whispering. "I don't know how much time I have before she comes back. Jasper is fine. At least I think he is. I've been taken to an old warehouse somewhere, like the one in my nightmare… but there's still time. She's gone to go prepare to go get the others and bring them here too. I told you that Jasper was in trouble to get you out of the house. I don't know if she's got them yet. So hurry up! You need to get them out of their houses and go somewhere safe. She's planning on killing us all! Don't worry about me. I'll get out of this somehow. Hurry!"

_CLICK. _Bella stared at me in wide-eyed silence. This was far more dangerous than we had anticipated. That insane bitch had a _plan_!

A very fucking dramatic plan.

"What do we do now?" She whispered.

"Call Rose and Jasper. Either or… and I'll call Emmett. She'll probably leave him for last." Bella nodded once and punched in a number on her speed dial. I punched in mine for Emmett.

"Mr. Sexy speaking. What's up Edward?" Emmett answered in his normally good- spirited nature. Too bad I would have to damper that.

"You have to get out of you house now!"

"What in the…"

"Just listen." I recounted what Alice told Bella and me.

"Shit! Where should I meet you?"

"Meet us at the school. If you're not there in 20 minutes, we're going to assume something's happened to you." I said knowing he would immediately understand the urgency.

"Gotcha. See you in 20." I snapped my phone shut and looked to Bella who was just wrapping up her call as well.

"Edward just told Emmett to meet us at the school. And that if you aren't there in 20 minutes that we're to assume you've been taken….. I know, I know….. Okay. See you soon." She hung up and looked at me.

"Jasper's falling apart. We have to hurry." I nodded at her once and we took off again. She got ahead of me again because I just couldn't run. She was a few feet ahead of me. The very few people in the streets watched us pass with a bit of confusion. But Bella and I kept running. We couldn't stop. Every second we lingered put Alice closer to death.

It started to rain hard as the school came into sight and I could see that Emmett was there. I could hear Jasper's bike not far away. Emmett saw us coming and waved. We got to him and I was struggling to catch my breath.

"Slow breaths, Edward." Emmett coaxed me. I nodded. I leaned forward a bit, looking down and slowed my breathing… nice and slow so it wouldn't hurt. I heard the roar of the Jasper's engine, but above it I heard a shrill scream.

"RUN!!!!!" Rosalie's scream carried its way to us. I looked up and saw that they were being chased by a gray van. Jasper was swerving around like a mad man, trying to avoid the van. I hadn't been able to properly catch my breath but I took off to run again. Bella tripped but Emmett had scooped her up and kept running. I was falling behind fast but I kept going.

The next few things happened so fast…

"JASPER, LOOK OUT!" Rose screamed above the mayhem. I looked back and saw that Jasper was about to crash into a pole… he tried to avoid it but it was too late. The front of the bike hit the pole and they went flying.

"ROSALIE!!!" I heard Emmett roar as he was coming back. Bella was running behind him. Somehow they were still conscious and were able to get up. They limp/ran towards us… but the gray van was right behind them.

"RUN! GO NOW!!" Jasper shouted. Before I could take a step in any direction, the gray van had caught up to Rose and the side door slid open and someone grabbed her in.

"NO!" She shrieked. "LET GO OF ME! LET GO! HELP!! EMMETT!"

"ROSE!!" He barreled towards the gray van, which had just caught up with Jasper and someone caught him too. "Shit!" Emmett turned around started to run back towards Bella and me. "Just run! We're no help if we get caught!" I pushed my breathless body away from the gray van… It was scene straight out an action movie.

I was beginning to get dizzy and my chest was pounding. Emmett was nearly tearing the pavement apart with how hard he was running. Bella wasn't too far behind him… but I was falling further and further behind, too breathless to call for help. I ran as hard as I could… but it was hard. But I kept pushing. I couldn't get caught. The fear was stifling but I had to run through it.

I don't know when the gray van passed me, or how they managed to get Emmett, but the last thing I remember was hearing Bella scream my name as she was being carted away…

When I came to, I didn't know where I was. I looked around for some familiar marker, but found nothing. Wherever this was... it was dark and cold. I was soaked from the rain… but I could clearly that it wasn't running wherever here was.

"Bella!" I called. My voice echoed in the hollow space… the sound was metallic. Where was I? The realization set in quickly… I was in Alice's nightmare. But there was one large difference. I was alive… and I was going to end this.

BPOV

The four of us rode in the van in a terrified silence. Rose and Jasper were banged up pretty bad, but didn't voice their pain. Edward was passed out in a corner… and I could see that his wound had was re-opening. I tried to move to him to apply pressure on it, but the minute I moved I heard the sound of a gun… like in the movies when they're about to shoot us. It was a bone-chilling sound. I turned toward it.

"Don't you dare!" She hissed at me. I looked at her and she wasn't looking at the road, but at me, with a gun pointed in my face. I immediately shrunk back down. She turned back around and continued driving as if she had never spoken to me. Rose was curled up against Emmett. Emmett was unconscious too. She had to hit him in the head with a bat to get him in the van…but it was scary that she was actually able to hit him in the head with a bat and lift him into the van by herself. There was no one else with her. She was doing this all alone.

The drive was long but we finally arrived at some old warehouse on the outside of town. CRAP! It was a warehouse… just like Alice said. The fear became tangible in my body. It felt my body go cold with it. I shivered violently. I looked to Rose who was holding back her sobs of terror and also, like Jasper, her groans of pain. They were both banged up pretty bad. They were bloody and bruised. The way Rosalie held her sides made me think she had probably broken some ribs… but there was nothing we could do now.

She killed the engine and jumped out the car and came over and threw our door open. She pointed the gun at us. My body shuddered with a violent quake.

"Wake the big one up." Her voice was hard… but so hollow.

"Em… wake up." Rose shook him gently. He didn't respond.

"I said wake him up!" She shouted and shot into the air. We flinched, I screamed. "NOW!"

"Emmett!" Jasper shook him hard. "Wake the hell up! Now! Come on dude!" Jasper slapped him a couple of times.

"What the hell?" Emmett shouted as he came to. "Stop that sh…" He trailed off as he saw the gun being pointed to him. His face lost about 4 shades of color. Yes, Emmett was big and strong. But he was no match for a gun.

"Hurry up and get out." She barked at us. We ran out, each as nimbly as our respective bodies would allow. She left Edward in the van when we got out. She saw the question mark in my face. Her answering smile was wickedly amused… emphasis on wickedly. "I'll wake him up in time to watch the show. Now get inside! All of you!" She herded us into the bleak warehouse. There was a dark, short corridor with a massive doorway at the end. We got to the end of that corridor, and through the doorway. The sight was terrifying. The warehouse I was huge and old. It wasn't really like a warehouse… but it was the closest description I could think of. I saw all sorts of gas canisters in massive piles everywhere.

"No…." I heard a high pitch voice cry. "I was too late…" Alice was tied to a large pillar.

"Alice!" Jasper called to her, and tried to bolt for her.

"SHUT UP!" She pointed the gun at Jasper. Jasper froze and Alice slumped against the ropes that held her. "Now," she looked to Emmett. "Help me tie them up." Emmett hesitated for a second… but that was too long for her. She put the gun up to his temple. "NOW!" He hurriedly tied us up to the same pillar Alice was bound to. She kept the gun close to this head. "If any of you tries anything funny, I'll blow your big friend's head open." She smiled. I heard Rose yelp lightly. Her eyes were bright with fear and she stood perfectly still as Emmett went to tie her up.

"I'm sorry, Rosie," he whispered. I looked at him and saw his hands shaking as he wound the ropes around Rosalie. Rose was near hysterics and was hyperventilating.

"Emmett…" she managed to get through her mouth. "I… I…"

"If you want me to shoot him right now, you'll keep talking Blondie!!!!" Our captor screeched. Rose continued to hysterically heave but said nothing more. Emmett moved on to Jasper. Jasper made no moves or sounds… but his face was about as white as snow. His eyes seemed distant and half-crazed. Then Emmett came to me. I was placed facing the doorway. It wasn't until that I saw Emmett's face that the realness of this all actually began to seep in.

Emmett's face was red and tear-stained and his eyes danced wildly with fresh panic. Brave Emmett… our rock… our personal Superman... I read doom in his face. He was sure we wouldn't make it out of this. And then the fear attached itself to me. It was much more than a second skin. It became my skin. Fear ran through me, and I breathed it in and breathed it out. We were going to die.

When he was done, she checked to see if the knots were tight enough and then tied him up herself.

"I'm not going to give you a choice. But I will tell you that it is much better this way. He was going to kill you. Anyone that's ever loved him has only known tragedy and loss. Why live a long life of suffering? You'll thank me. I'm saving you all from pain and misery." She said as she walked around the pillar so that she could address each one of us. She actually believed what she was saying. There was not one shred of uncertainty in her voice. "I'm going to kill you. You're all going to die today. I'm going to show you how much you would have suffered throughout your life… all at once. Then you'll all truly understand what I'm saving you from."

No… NO! This couldn't be it! Why hadn't someone found us yet? Why hadn't my dad found us yet? The panic gripped at my heart and I soon found myself quaking with unrelenting sobs. I heard Rose and Alice crying too.

"You can't mean this!" Jasper yelled, apparently trying to reason with her. "Clearly, you can see that there is another way." The panic was evident in his voice.

"There is no other way! I'm saving you!" She shrieked.

"No, there is!" Jasper didn't know what he was saying anymore. He was desperate. He was desperately trying to find a way to save us.

"If you leave now, you'll never know if we suffer or not, right? So what difference does that make?"

"I allowed that monster to live! I should have killed him but I didn't! I'm saving you from him! But don't worry. I'm going to make him watch… so he'll pay for everything he's done! EVERYTHING!" Her shrill screaming worked its way into my bloodstream. I felt my body go cold.

"Please! Think about what you're doing!" Jasper pleaded now. "You don't want to be a murderer. This isn't who you are!" And then… the wild fire in her expression seemed to dim a bit… Oh My God… it was working. The terror was at odds with the strange glee that was now trying to pulse through me. If anyone could persuade her, it would be Jasper. "That's right. You aren't a murderer. You don't really want to hurt us. You've suffered. It's okay… I understand."

"I have suffered… you don't know how much." Her voice cracked. I heard Rosalie let go a frenzied giggle.

"It's okay…" Jasper's voice carried its way like a lullaby… obviously soothing her. "It hurts, but this isn't the way to make the hurt go away." She slumped to the floor and started to cry. The sight only made me more afraid. This lady was an emotional time bomb.

"I don't want to hurt anymore and the only way is to make him hurt…" she sobbed looking down to the floor.

"No one wants pain. You have to let it go. That's what you need to do. Just let this all go. That's what is really hurting you." Jasper's voice was hypnotic.

"No… no it's not."

"You have let go. Let Sa…"

He was about to say something else but Alice cut him off.

"NO, JASPER! Don't say that!" Her high voice echoed through the open space. "She'll kill you!"

Edward's grandmother looked back up at us and she narrowed her eyes at Jasper…. It seemed his spell was broken.

"YOU tried to trick me!" She snapped, and threw the gun across the room; it skipped like a rock in the river to the doorway. She stood up and stomped toward him. She lifted her hand to strike him.

"DON'T!" Alice screamed. "Please don't hurt him." Then her evil gaze sat on Alice.

"No. I won't hurt him. I'm going to kill him. I'll kill you all and I'll make him watch!" She stormed away from us.

"What are you going to do?" My voice was a whisper… it was all that could seem get out of me. She smiled at me… but it was a twisted, evil grin. It made my stomach want to jump out of my body.

"I'm going to show you the hell the rest of your life is going to be if I let you live." She took a match out of her pocket and lit on the gas canisters. The fire started to spread quickly. And soon a fiery death was coming our way.

We started screaming futile cries of help. I screamed for my mom and dad. I screamed for Edward… for someone to save me. My body rang with adrenaline telling me to run… but I couldn't. The sobs began to take me. I didn't want to die. But the room was unbearably hot and the flames were licking themselves our way. Everything seemed to say, Death is coming.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to wake him up so he can see what he's done."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!" Emmett cried, straining against the ropes. "LET US GO!"

"I don't think I can do that!" She cackled.

"Oh God no! Please no! This can't be it!" Alice screamed.

She ignored Alice and started to walk away… back to the entrance of our death trap. But standing in the door way was an angel. Among the flames there was a beautiful bronze haired angel with a bloody chest holding a gun. His shirt was torn, revealing his wounded chest. His hair was a dirty mess and his face was set in crazed loathing. I don't think he'd ever looked so damn sexy…

"YOU! No! You'll ruin everything!" He pointed the gun at her. "You're a monster! Look at what you've caused!" She waved her hands at the inferno that was about to engulf us.

"I am not a monster!" He screamed. "You're the fucking monster!"

She lunged herself at him and tried to wrestle him for the gun, but Edward side stepped her.

"I hate you! You've been nothing but a burden to me my whole life and you took away the only thing I ever loved! I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"I'll make sure not to make your same mistakes." His finger tightened around the trigger. My heart thudded hard against my ribs.

"NO! What are you doing?"

"Fixing things, setting them straight. I'll see you in hell." He pulled the trigger and the gun blasted with a chorus of angels. She fell to the floor, her face forever twisted into a mask of horror and hatred. Edward threw the gun at her and I could see her blood start to pool around her.

Edward looked over at us, but then suddenly pain ripped through his face and his grabbed at his bloody chest. He took a few steps toward us, his other hand reaching for me. Then he collapsed… his blood pooling beneath him too.

"NO!!! NO! EDWARD!!!" I screamed, my body suddenly thrashing wildly against the ropes. I struggled against the binds, not feeling them budge. The flames were getting closer to us and closer to Edward. If someone didn't help us soon… Edward would either die from blood loss or be burned to death. And we would die too.

"Why isn't anyone coming?" Rose screamed. "We're going to die!"

"This is bullshit! HELP!!" Emmett yelled, his voice carrying far into the warehouse. Jasper was silently sobbing, already resigned. Alice was struggling against the ropes.

"We have to get out!"

"I need to save Edward! I won't let him die!" Then I heard it… the most beautiful sound in the world. It was a symphony of sirens coming to save us. The others heard too because we instantly burst into a chorus of pleas and cries. It would be over soon… The witch was dead and we would be saved soon.

The relief washed over me like a cool mountain stream, and I found myself suddenly exhausted and short of breath. I stopped struggling and screaming when I saw about five black figures in the doorway near Edward. I saw one of them pick him up, and another point to us. Rose screamed joyful words at them, and Alice began sobbing relentlessly. Emmett was thanking God over and over again. And Jasper, much like me, had given into his body, and was slumped against the ropes until rescue came. Soon, jets of water came from all over dousing the oppressive fires and us too. My eyelids drooped slightly, and I gave in to sleep when I felt the ropes around me come loose.

EPOV

_I made my way out of the van, feeling my chest throb unevenly. The wound had opened again and was freshly bleeding… but I wasn't really registering the pain. The smell of smoke had woke me up… and the realization of what she was going to do hit me harder than impaling a jagged piece of glass into my body. I ran into the warehouse, feeling the intense heat instantly. I came to a large doorway, and saw salvation at its mouth. A gun. I picked it up and walked closer._

_"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!" I heard Emmett scream. "LET US GO!" _

_"I don't think I can do that!" She laughed at him. I felt my body get hot… but it had nothing to do with the fire._

_"Oh God no! Please no! This can't be it!" Alice screamed. Then the bitch turned to walk away and leave them to burn and die. But I was standing in her exit. I saw Bella look at me and the shock and relief was evident in her expression._

"_YOU! No! You'll ruin everything!" I pointed the gun at her. I was through playing games. "You're a monster! Look at what you've caused!" She yelled indicating the fire SHE started. It wasn't going to work anymore._

_"I am not a monster!" I screamed despite the pulling in my chest. "You're the fucking monster!"_

_She lunged herself at me, no doubt trying to get the gun. But I stepped out of her reach._

_"I hate you! You've been nothing but a burden to me my whole life and you took away the only thing I ever loved! I should have killed you when I had the chance."_

_"I'll make sure not to make your same mistakes." I tightened my finger around the trigger. I felt a flutter in the pit of my stomach. It was same kind of flutter I felt on a roller coaster. It was thrilling._

_"NO! What are you doing?"_

_"Fixing thing, setting them straight. I'll see you in hell." I pulled the trigger releasing the trigger into her chest. As I watched her fall lifeless to the floor, the feeling was indescribable. I had never felt such an overwhelming relief. That bullet held all the negativity, all the self-loathing, all the self- pity. It held all the wrong that had happened to me… it held all the hurt and when I let that bullet go, all of that went with it. It went to live where it belonged. It went to live with the person who caused it. I watched the blood pool beneath her and felt the smile threaten to erupt. I wanted to sing. I wanted to dance. I wanted to cry. _

_But there wasn't time for that now. I had to save the others. I threw the gun aside, and looked over to them…as I took as step toward them, pain pulsed through my body. I felt my chest rip open, crippling me. I fell to the floor… the fire slowly making its way towards me…_

"NO!" I screamed, jolting forward immediately regretting it. I was met with an angry "BEEP BEEP BEEP!" and atearing pain in my chest. I felt heavy and woozy and fell back. I was in a hospital. Again.

But that meant I was alive… and that bitch was dead. She was good and dead. And I killed her. And I was damn proud of that.

**A/N: DING DONG! The witch is dead!!! YAY!!! WOO HOO!!! *throws witch is dead party* I know I'm happy! How about you? Hehehee! The story is winding down folks... only a few chapters left! Review please!!!**


	24. Helene

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! It's shorter than normal.... but that's how it needed to be. This chapter goes out to _bent05_ for knowing that Edward isn't a monster! **

Helene

BPOV

I was one of the first to wake up. Just a little over 18 hours that we were hauled into the hospital I came to. Much to Mom and Dad's delight. Thankfully, I didn't have too many injuries. I had just some bruises and minor smoke inhalation. Emmett had never passed out and surprisingly, neither had Jasper. Though both he and Rose had an extensive list of injuries, due to that motorcycle crash. Alice was on a ventilator because her lungs nearly collapsed from all the smoke… her body was a lot smaller than most. And Edward was the first to wake up. Despite the major blood loss he suffered and how he had overexerted his body, Carlisle said that Edward was just fine.

Apparently, the motorcycle crash is what tipped Dad and the police department off. Someone had heard the crash and called it in. There were also reports of a suspicious looking vehicle around town.

Emmett was mad at those of us still healing. He insisted that we had three weeks to be as healed as possible because he had a big surprise for us. Mom and Dad were angry at me for not calling them as soon as all of this started, but happy that I was okay… which seemed to be the general norm for all the parents too. Though Carlisle, being the one to treat us, was especially shaken. So it did his heart good to see that no one was permanently damaged… physically at least.

I hadn't talked to Edward… I didn't know how he felt about all this. The last images I had of him were a mass of confusion. His eyes mostly… first when he walked in as our savior, his eyes blazed like green fire. It was brighter and deadlier than the fire about to kill us. Then his body gave up and I saw his pale and glaze over as life threatened to leave him… but as he struggled to hold on.

It was those memories haunting me that were my company when I went to see him. My body was sore, and I had a slight limp. But, I was alive thanks to him.

"Edward?" I whispered. Carlisle told me not to strain my voice. My throat was pretty raw from the smoke. Edward looked up at me, and a tender smile lit his face. They had him shirtless with bandages wrapped tightly against his chest. It looked painful. I went closer to him. "How are you?"

"Pensive." He answered… his voice far away. I giggled.

"I mean how do you feel, physically?" He smiled again.

"It hurts. But I'll be fine. Carlisle says I need to take it easy for awhile. How are you?" He looked at me intently.

"Thanks to you, alive and healing nicely. I'm proud to announce that I was one of the first to wake up. Third, I think." I smiled widely.

"I'm glad." Edward said his voice far away again. I gingerly ran my fingers through his hair. He sighed a bit, and closed his eyes.

"Where are you?" I asked quietly. He kept his eyes closed but smiled a bit.

"Don't I scare you?" He asked dreamily. My hands stopped at his odd question. His eyes opened.

"Should I be?" He turned to look at me.

"Bella, I killed someone right before your very eyes." The guilt was seeping in through his voice.

"You did it to save us." I said letting the gratitude ring in my voice. "She would have killed us all. You saved our lives."

"I don't regret what I've done. She had it coming, but…" he struggled for words. "It makes me a murderer… directly. Aren't you afraid of me? Don't you think I'm a monster?"

"I love you. And I am thankful that you saved my life. That's all. And that fact that you're able to reflect like this lets me know that you aren't a monster. You're a good person, Edward. You're a wonderful person." I leaned down to give him a quick kiss, but Edward wasn't having that. As I started to pull away, he held my face to his and kissed me long and slow effectively stunning me.

"Thank you." He sighed when he let me go. "I would never have come out of this at all if it weren't for you, Bella. I love you with everything I have left." He smiled at me tenderly. I smiled back as he scooted over to make room on his bed for me. "You know, I want to give her some kind of memorial service or something. What do you think?"

"It's exactly the kind of thing a monster wouldn't do."

EPOV

It was miraculous. Within a week we were, for the most part, healed and out of the hospital. Jasper was on crutches and Rosalie's newest accessory was a bedazzled arm cast. I was on strict orders to rest and take it easy, that I was in no way to over exert myself. Emmett insisted that we heal up as quickly as humanly possible, faster if we could.

During our stay at the hospital, Charlie and his men interviewed us to get facts for their reports. They had an especially hard time keeping the news media away from us. He gave them his version of the story and told them that they would have to settle for that.

So… everything seemed like it should be fine. The madness was over. I had quite literally gotten rid of the source of the problem. But it felt incomplete. There were things that I needed to do. I had a bunch of knots to unravel. My life felt like a dirty shoelace on an old sneaker. The knot was tight and hard to untie… but once you did untie it was still dirty.

It was about then that the plans started forming, and that I could see the beginning of a happy life waiting for me to do what I needed to do to go get it. I was sitting at the breakfast table when I noticed someone waving a hand in front of my face.

"Edward honey," Esme said worriedly. "Are you okay?" I smiled. She was very strict in what I could and couldn't do. If I so much as winced, she sent me back to bed immediately. "Are you hurting? Do you need to go back to bed?"

"No, Esme. I'm fine. I was just thinking… that's all." The relief was obvious as her features relaxed.

"What's on your mind, sweetie?" She smiled tenderly at me.

"I was talking to Bella about arranging a memorial service or something for my… my grandmother. I have some things I need to say… some things I want people to know and understand." I didn't look at her when I said because I was afraid of what her reaction might be. I felt her hand rest on top of my head.

"Will that make you happy? Will it give your mind some peace?" I looked at her and nodded.

"It will."

"All right then. When? Just say the time Edward and I'll have it all ready for you."

"Really?" I felt four again.

"I'll do whatever I can to make you happy. And I think it's a beautiful idea." She gave me a quick kiss on my forehead. "So when do you want to do this?"

"As soon as I can."

"Super Esme is on the case!" She stood up dramatically and whipped out her cell phone. I watched in awe as she called all the right the right people and arranged to have a memorial service set up for tomorrow afternoon.

BPOV

"Are you nervous?" I asked Edward as he looked himself over one more time. He looked… very nice in the outfit Alice had chosen for him.

"No. I'm not nervous. Just anxious." He turned to face me. "Do I look okay?" I smiled.

"Somewhere, Alice weeps. You like wonderful." I embraced him. "Don't worry. I'll be sitting right in the front if you need me." Edward wound his arms around me.

"Someday Bella, I'll make you understand just how good you've been to me. I'm going to make you the happiest woman alive… ever. You'll see." He whispered holding me tight. I sighed happily.

"It's time to go kids." Carlisle's voice carried from downstairs. I pulled back from Edward a bit and gazed into his face expecting to see maybe fear or apprehension. I was surprised with what I actually did find. His face proudly wore a hopeful smile. It was something I hadn't seen from him in a long time. I laced my fingers with his and led him downstairs into Carlisle's Mercedes.

The seats would be forever stained with Edward's blood from so long ago. I wondered vaguely why Carlisle didn't have the upholstery replaced… or maybe just buy a whole new car.

Esme had arranged to have the memorial his grandmother's house. Mom and Dad said they would already be there. Dad had to run security. There would be news cameras all the way from Seattle there.

Emmett and the others, along with their parents were already there.

And the media along with the whole town had started wandering in.

"Bella," Edward whispered.

"Yes?"

"I'm nervous now." I laughed. Jasper came over and put a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Relax. This is a beautiful thing you're doing. Don't let all these people freak you out." I felt the tension float away from Edward's body.

"How do you _do _that?" Edward asked. Jasper shrugged.

"It's a gift. Now go on up there and do your thing." We all sat in the front row to give Edward the moral support he needed. Esme had set up a small stage in the front of the house. There was a podium for Edward to speak from and they had his piano up there too. I guess he was going to play something. Edward walked up to the podium and grabbed the mic. Silence fell upon us like a thick curtain at the end of a play.

"Hello, everyone." He began nervously. "My name is Edward Masen and by now, you all know my story. You all know that I was abused physically and emotionally everyday for most of my life. I've gone through very rough times, and am glad to say they are nearly all behind me. But there are some things I need you all to know." He reached down and placed a photograph of his grandmother on the podium. "Her name was Helene. And she tortured me and hated me with every fiber of her being. She's tried to kill the people that are dear to me, just to make me suffer. So, I killed her. No… I don't regret it because she would have killed more people. She would have killed people I loved, that loved me, just to gratify her insane need to justify her bent way of thinking. But I feel guilty. Because someone very beautiful loved her and cared for her. In a way, I did destroy her life. Because I replaced her in my mother's life."

His voice was calm and even. Oddly enough, his words were not distressing me.

"And I want her to know that I'm sorry and that I forgive her for everything she put me through… that I'm truly sorry for all the pain and suffering that I caused her. And that I hope she can forgive me. Yes I was a victim but that doesn't make me blameless. I've wronged her… from the beginning of my life to the end of hers. I want a chance to make things right. I'll never love her. I can't pretend that this will erase of the years I've suffered. I'll never think of her as good person or anything like that. I'm not trying to say that deep down inside she had a good heart blah blah blah. But she was going through tough times. She lost her daughter, the very center of her life, the only person she loved…that loved her. And there was no one there to help her get through it. Helene had to deal with her grief alone. She didn't have anyone to care for her, to help her, to love her. I was lucky. I had loving caring people surrounding me everyday. Because of that, I consider myself truly blessed."

He looked at us.

"I love you guys so much. You never abandoned me and were patient with me. That's why we I was able to make my way through all the horrible things that were happening to me. She didn't have that. No one can justify what she did… I know that. But if I know anything, I know this. I am not a monster."

I heard Mom and Esme sniffle a bit. I think Alice may have been tearing up too. My heart swelled with pride. The applause exploded from the crowd. Edward smiled sheepishly at the attention. When the din subsided, he spoke again.

"Thank you all for coming to hear what I had to say. Now, I'd like to play a piece I wrote." He walked over to the piano and sat on the bench. "It's called, _Helene Rising_. I hope you like it." Then he started to play.

The melody was chilling. It went right through my skin, cutting quickly past any physical part of me. It slashed its way into my soul. His fingers raced along the ivory keys. Each note a word he could never find a way to express. I heard the hate, for himself and for his grandmother… for Helene. I heard his life when he felt it was spiraling out of control. I heard it all. I heard everything he went through, every thought and emotion he experienced. And so could everyone else.

"Wow." I heard Rose whisper. Then the melody started to get slow and sad, and it left off on an uncertain note… as if he was sending a question through the notes. Edward stood and took a bow when he finished. The applause was heavy. Heavy because of the sheer power of the piece he played for us.

I felt that I understood Edward just a little bit more. I smiled widely at him and made my way to go hug him, but Mom had beaten me to it. She had him in a huge lock and was crying her eyes out.

"Oh Edward! If I had only known! I'm a horrible mother in law!" That made me laugh. Edward smirked and whispered something in her ear and she was immediately finished crying. "Oh! That's wonderful! It's perfect! I love it!"

She gave him one last squeeze and Esme and Carlisle took her place. They gave him long hugs and the news cameras went crazy. I looked at Edward's face and was pleased with what I saw there. He looked peaceful. He looked happy and at ease. I let out a big sigh and felt something big and comforting next to me. I leaned onto it knowing it was Emmett.

"I'm glad he did this." Emmett said. "It's really over, Bells."

"Yeah. Things can back to the way they were."

"No. The way things were… Edward was being tortured and hated. And there were secrets. Now, there aren't any secrets and none of us are hurting." I felt something lean against me and laughed when I saw Jasper."He's right. Things will be so much better." Soon, Rose and Alice made there way to us. I held my arms open for Edward. He smiled and came to me and joined our circle. We posed for pictures and it made me happy to see Edward making silly poses along with Em and Jazz. I sighed happily. Finally… it was about damn time.

EPOV

I was so close. I was almost whole. But the way I felt when Bella opened her arms for me… the way I felt when I joined the circle of my true friends… the way I felt when Esme and Carlisle smiled at me and told me they were proud, it would do. It would do quite nicely. Soon I would be able to call myself human.

**A/N: I loved writing this chapter so much! It was very natural and refreshing after all the horrible things that have been going on. So please review!!!! Reviews are awesome and they make the world go round.**


	25. Emmett's Surprise

**A/N: Yes! Another chapter!! It's a bit of a filler but the characters are like voices in my head and Emmett would shut up if I didn't write this.... I'm not crazy I swear! There are some very true things said in this chapter, in which underlie the true theme of the story. You guys have been awesome! This chapter has a dual dedication. It goes out to _imaprettyduckie95_ for saying if there is anything remotely similiar going on in your life or in the life of anyone you know, speak up! There isn't any reason why anyone has to go throught such horrible things! and it's for _Adria AKA Emmett's baybymomma... _because the chapter is after all about the "father of her children." heheheehe! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I guess I don't really want all of Twilight... just the hot sexilicious vamps/wolves that are in it. Can I have them?**

Emmett's Surprise

BPOV

Emmett and I were graduating earlier than the others. I said it was because he and I had opted one summer to take extra classes. He said it was because we were, "F-ing brilliant." And graduation was seriously right around the corner.

After our stint in the hospital, we had to go back to school. However, Jasper was still out of commission. He and Edward would need to take a summer session together.

"Oh Bella! Emmett!" Esme's cheery voice called out to us in the hallway. We were on our way to meet up with the others for lunch. She practically skipped to us.

"Hi, Esme. What's up?" Emmett asked as she came up to us.

"I have your graduation tickets!" She sang as she fanned herself with a pair of envelopes. I jumped up and down and squealed. So did Emmett.

"Awesome!" Emmett boomed.

"You're the best!" I giggled.

"I know. You kids had to rub off on me sometime right? Now hurry and get to lunch. I'll see you all tonight for dinner." She skipped off again to her waiting class.

With her new found cooking skills and my help, Mom wanted to make a celebratory dinner for all of us tonight. She had even invited Em's, Alice's, and the Twins' parents. She was turning into a huge event. Emmett was smiling ear to ear when we walked into the lunch room. Alice and Rose were already at our table waiting for us.

"Look what we've got," Emmett and I said together in a sing-song voice. Alice squealed. She was finally feeling herself again.

"That means prom is coming soon!" She clapped her hands and bounced in her seat. "I hope Jazzy gets better so we can go."

"My brother's a fast healer." Rose assured. She stuck her hand out towards Emmett. "So, where's my ticket you sexy smart thing?"

"Not until tonight at Bella's. I want everyone to get them at once."

"Good idea, Em. I'll wait to hand mine out too!"

The rest of the school day passed without incident. Alice, Rosalie and Emmett ran off to their houses to get ready for tonight's big dinner. I had a lot preparation to do as well.

I was really looking forward to it. I loved to cook and would be showing off a bit tonight. Plus, I hadn't seen Edward since last night. I was getting a bit anxious. I wanted to look special for him tonight. Because yes, this was a celebratory occasion. We were celebrating mine and Emmett's early commencement, Mom's new found cooking skills, and we were celebrating that the sword over Edward's head was gone. He would finally live without having to lurk in the shadows.

EPOV

"Edward, dear… Have you showered?" Esme called from downstairs.

"Yes, I have." I chuckled. She was a natural at this mom thing.

"Good. I've set your clothes out for you. They're on your bed. Hurry up and get dressed we don't want to be late!"

"Yes ma'am." I started to put on the clothes she had set out for me.

"Oh Carlisle, for goodness sakes! Aren't you ready yet?" Her voice trailed off as she went to go argue with Carlisle.

As I looked at the clothes that had been laid out for me, I couldn't help but wonder if Alice had been behind this.

It felt good to feel… normal. Rose and Alice had started up their whole spa thing again and were now even taking on other clients. Dr. Em said he had some final _evaluations_ he had to do, and even though Sergeant Jazzy (who had promoted himself to General Jazzy) was out of commission, there was still Captain Esme. Nurse Bella had yet to make an appearance, but I figured I could always make a special request for that.

I chuckled to myself as I got dressed. I was admiring my reflection when Carlisle came up to get me.

"Like what you see?" He asked with a smile in his voice. I thought about that for a minute. Did I like what I saw? I looked at the mirror. I was secure enough to admit that he was a good looking guy. He might wanna try to do something about that messy hair of his. He was on the skinny side… but overall… a good looking guy. He looked like he had been through a lot in a short time. I could the leftovers of a hard life in his eyes. It seemed like a gleam that shone through that would never leave. Though I saw hope in his face. And I saw peace in his features. But did I like him?

"I will." I answered truthfully. Carlisle smiled and put a hand on my shoulder.

"That's good. Now let's get going. Esme will have our heads if we're late." He laughed. We were nearing the car when I stopped him.

"Carlisle, how did you know that Esme was the one? That she was it for you?" His face took a goofy smile and his eyes seemed to glaze over a bit.

"I tried very hard one day to picture my life without her."

"And what happened?"

"It gave me a headache… then I got so sick that I was hospitalized for a week. No one could diagnose me. I bought a ring the minute they let me out and proposed to her in the daycare. You and the others were about 2." He laughed at the memory.

"Just the thought of being without her made you sick?" I asked as we got into the car. Esme was about to argue with us but Carlisle spoke.

"I should have believed Alice when I met her. The very first thing she ever said to me was, 'Hello, I'm Alice. You marry Esmie.' It would have saved me a trip to the hospital." He laughed out loud. Esme blushed and smiled. The rest of the ride to Bella's was quiet… and I had a lot of things on my mind to consider.

BPOV

The McCarty's were the first to arrive.

"Brian! Valerie!" My mom gushed as they walked in with Emmett. "It's so wonderful to see you! It's been too long."

"Yes it has. Sorry we haven't been around." Mrs. McCarty said. Emmett's parents were both hotshot lawyers and they secretly hoped that Emmett would follow them. "But we never pass up a chance to celebrate our boy!" She pinched Emmett's cheek.

"Mom!" He protested. She laughed. Mom gave Emmett a big hug and then he made his way over to me.

"Hello, fellow genius!"

"Hello, fellow brilliant being!" We laughed. Then Alice's mom was coming in. Ms. Brandon was a runway model. No, seriously she was. She was in Milan when all of this was going on, but flew right back when she heard that her baby was hospitalized. Alice's dad had died back when we were kids.

"Mary, don't you look beautiful?" Mom said. Dad was busy talking with Mr. McCarty. We all knew he had a slight crush on Alice's mom. But then… so did Emmett… and Jasper…. And Carlisle… she was a model for crying out loud! We all thought it was hilarious. She came holding Alice's hand.

"Renee! It's wonderful to see you. I've brought you a dress from Milan, you too Valerie! I know you'll love them. I also want to thank you for looking after my Alice while I was gone. I don't know what I would if something were to happen to her. I've told the designers I won't be walking for awhile. I've been a neglectful mother." She knelt to be on eye level with Alice. She gave her a kiss on the forehead. "You forgive me, Ali?"

"Yes, Momma." Alice smiled and pranced off to join us. "I don't think she'll ever stop beating herself up about this." She said.

"Ali's mom has got it going on…" Emmett sang. Alice rolled her eyes.

"I heard that!" Rose's voice said from the doorway. The Hales had arrived and they were always a sight to behold. Mr. Ronald Hale owned about half of Seattle, but chose to live in Forks because Mrs. Lillian Hale owned him. We rarely ever saw them. They weren't bad parents. Just very very busy people.

"They actually came?" Alice said as she threw herself around Jasper's neck.

"Yeah I know!" Rose and Jazz said together.

Soon after, Esme and Carlisle had arrived with Edward and soon the dinner was well under way. Mom was eating up the compliments on the dishes she had made, while I blushed furiously. Then it was time for the toasts. Most of the adults toasted for Dad. It was obvious where I got my reaction to attention from. Mrs. Brandon cried when she toasted to Esme and Mom, for being Alice's mothers while she was gone. Then Emmett stood up.

"My turn! Bella, before I go, I need you to hand out your graduation tickets." That was odd… but I was eager to give my tickets out.

"Okay." I handed out each ticket. Esme pulled some strings and was able to get us enough tickets for everyone. Though they would only need one to get in, she wanted to have a copy of each of ours. Mom and Dad beamed when I handed them their ticket. When I was done I sat back in my spot and Emmett stood up. His eyes were wicked with amusement.

"Okay everyone I have a big surprise." He said. Alice's gasped and her hand went flying to her mouth.

"Em!!" She squealed.

"Nuh uh! Keep it to yourself you clairvoyant pixie thing! I need everyone to hold out their hands and close their eyes." We did as he said. I felt him slide a rectangular piece of paper in my hand. It was the graduation ticket… why would he have us close our eyes then? It would look just like mine. "Okay… open them!"

I opened my eyes slowly and was momentarily blinded by a metallic flash. It was a graduation ticket… but it a raised gold seal on it which meant that Emmett was…

"OH MY GOODNESS!" Mrs. McCarty screamed. "My baby is the valedictorian!" She jumped up and down and screamed with the ticket in her hand before running to Emmett and all but squeezing the life from him. Mr. McCarty looked quite smug. He looked like a chicken that had just laid 50 eggs. When Mrs. McCarty stopped trying to smother her son and Mr. McCarty had given him a hearty pat on the shoulder, the rest of us made our way to him.

It made perfect sense… all the extra hours at school… the extra stressing… Emmett was Forks High School's valedictorian! Throw that in there with the fact that he's graduating early…

"Emmett, baby!" His mom continued. "I always knew you were smart, but you've thrown Momma for a loop honey!" We all congratulated Emmett and Rosalie laid a big kiss on him in front of everyone.

As the evening was winding down, Emmett smiled at us and said,

"Wait until you hear my speech."

EPOV

It was the big day. Because Esme was a teacher, she couldn't sit with us in the audience. She had to sit with the other teachers on stage. She waved to us energetically as Carlisle and I sat down with the rest of our enormous group. Altogether there were 12 of us. We were going to be very loud…

I was very proud of Bella. She was nervous and couldn't stand the yellow graduation robes, but I had done my best to kiss her worries away. Rose sat next to me.

"Edward, our other halves our up there!" She squealed and took hold of my arm.

"I'm so proud of them!" I said. Carlisle chuckled as he saw Rose and me.

"I don't think either of them will appreciate you two holding each other that way. But I won't tell if you won't."

"Thanks, Carlisle. We wouldn't want them finding out about our secret tryst. Would we, Edward?" Rosalie said, playing along batting her eyes at me.. I laughed along with Carlisle. Soon the lights dimmed and the school marching band started to play _Pomp and Circumstance._ Emmett, in true Emmett style, was doing a two step down the aisle. I could tell that Bella was trying very hard to keep the beat in her head, always just a fraction of a second off.

She blushed when she caught me looking at her and blew a kiss my way. They finally made it to their seats, Emmett up to the stage, and the ceremony began. I was dozing off when Carlisle nudged me in the arm lightly.

"Esme's going to speak." He whispered.

"Welcome everyone!" She sang and the students applauded furiously for her. "I want to congratulate you all! I've seen you all walk into these hallways as scared freshmen, and now I get to see you walk out as brave graduates. But enough out of me. I want to introduce a particular student. I have watched this person grow and mature closely and he is very dear to my heart. I think his friends will agree with me when I say sometimes he's too much to handle… but that's why we love him!" All of us, with the exception of Jasper, stood up and cheered. Esme giggled. "So without further ado, I introduce Emmett McCarty, this year's valedictorian!" She stepped back gave Emmett a big hug. He hugged her back, but not before picking her up and spinning her around first.

"What's up everyone?" Emmett boomed without a microphone. The auditorium erupted. "Before I begin, I just have to say that Esme is awesome!"

"That's damn right." Carlisle said. When the second eruption subsided, Emmett continued.

"All right. Since I was a little kid, I was always trying to find my place in the world. I've been an Olympic diver, a bomb squad tech, a ringmaster, and my personal favorite, a crocodile wrestler. Yes, I was one of _those _kids. Thankfully, I did grow out of that… but I still didn't know what my place in the world would be. Then, where my place would someday be didn't matter for a while. A dear friend of mine, a brother, needed me."

What? Was he seriously saying this?

"So I dropped nearly everything to be there for him. And through this whole ordeal, I learned one thing for certain. If the people you celebrate with aren't the same ones you cry with, then get rid of them. If the people who smile at you have never yelled at you, get rid of them. If the people who say they need you aren't there when you need them, it's time to get some new people. Because life isn't worth anything if you don't have people to share it with it. If you don't have people you love, that love you, no matter ho bad things get, you can't move on. There's no point. They like to tell us that the real world is waiting for us when we leave these doors. But I'm here to tell you something. I've seen how real the world can get. And it's pretty strange, right Edward?" He called to me and winked. I threw my head back in laughter because everything he said was dead right.

"Damn straight, Em!" I called back.

"That's right," he continued. "The world is real now. Life is real now. And we all need to take a hard look around and see who we're sharing it with. Are they worth it? I know the ones I'm sharing life with are worth it. And I want to be sure they know it. To my Mom and Dad, you've raised me right. Mom, you've taught what to look for in a lady, and Dad you've taught how to treat one. To Esme and Carlisle Cullen, the two coolest adults on the planet: if anybody wants an example of how a man is supposed to truly love a woman, follow Carlisle around for a day. There's not a minute that goes by that he doesn't do something to tell us how much he loves Esme. To my Rose Lily, who hates it when I call her that…" he paused. "Hmmm… I had a whole three paragraphs about you here, but I can sum it up pretty well. Damn girl, I love you! Life doesn't mean a damn thing if you aren't in it!"

The audience laughed. They laughed harder when Rose said,

"I love you, Em! And your dad taught you well!"

"To Alice, my very first friend ever … life would be boring and predictable without you in it. You're my personal can of RedBull!" Alice giggled. "To Bella, the final piece in our puzzle. Life became complete that day all those years ago when your family first moved to Forks. To Jasper, I still need to kick your ass in Halo… and I'll never get over how you can still outrun me with a broken leg. And Edward, I owe this all to you. You showed me what it really means to treasure a person. Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella brothers and sisters of my heart, Rosalie my lady, I love you guys. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you… because I know that life is worth it, because I have you guys to share it with."

I heard Bella's voice from the front of the auditorium.

"You're awesome, Emmett! We love you too!"

"Yeah, Emmy! You're the best big brother ever!" Alice said.

"And there's no way you're beating me!" Jasper teased. I laughed.

"So," Emmett continued with a huge grin on his face, "As far as my place in the world goes, I know I'll be okay. I've got people that will help if I ever lose sight of the path.

"And we have to remember, that we have been blessed with a gift called life. The gift is so wonderful that what can do whatever we want with it, waste it if we so choose. But why would anyone do that? We have life… and they tell us that life begins now right? So what are you gonna do when this is all over? You're gonna go out there and you're gonna live."

He looked straight at me.

"That's right. Things get bad. I've seen just how bad. But no matter what, you have got to keep going against the odds because someday it will all be worth it. And never forget that you have people that share life with you. Your life is never just yours. Others are bound to it, just you are bound to theirs. So congratulations to all of us! This part of the real world is over!"

Emmett stepped back and the applause thundered and shook the room… a lot like Emmett's laughter. I stared at him in awe as Esme threw her arms around him.

He was truly a magnificent being. He was born to be great and that was his place in the world. To be someone great, someone people wrote about, someone kids wanted to be. Emmett was our rock… but someday he might crumble, and just like he was there for me, I would be there for him.

Everything he said up on that stage was right. By wasting my life, I had wasted a little bit of theirs. It's easy to lose sight of what matters when life doesn't go right. And sometimes, that's what it takes to set your vision straight. If none of this had happened, how long would it have been before I realized my feelings for Bella? I couldn't even imagine myself in a world were she wasn't by my side. Like Carlisle said, just thinking about was giving me a headache.

Soon after Emmett's speech, the graduates were being called to cross the stage. Esme had the honor.

"Emmett McCarty!" She called happily. He came to her and spun her around with his signature hug. He took his diploma and moonwalked across the stage. All while we were screaming and cheering and whistling for him. A short while after, it was Bella's turn. Just as Esme was about to call her name, I noticed Charlie stand up with a megaphone.

"Bella Swan!" Esme opened her arms for a hug.

"That's my baby girl!" Charlie said into the megaphone. Renee took it from him.

"We love you, sweetie!" I could see Bella blush from here. The rest of us were cheering just as loud as we had for Emmett.

After the graduates threw their hats in the air, signaling the end of the ceremony, I felt an ending too. I felt my old life trying to fade away. It seemed as if there were a few thin strings that refused to let it go. If I was going to live the life I was newly blessed with, to take advantage of my second chance, those strings needed to be cut so that I could be reborn. It was time for my own surprise.

**A/N: All right! I feel good after letting that one go. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter...and this quick update is because my reviewers are awesome! We're passed 200! And it's only my first story! Thank you guys so much! Keep the reviews coming! They make me happy!!**


	26. Birth Certificate

**A/N: I hope I still have readers.... More at the bottom. Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: *sighs* It's not mine okay???**

Birth Certificate

APOV

_I'm shaken awake by the cries of a baby. I open my mouth to ask someone to quiet it down… but my voice is gone. I turn over to try and drown the noise out… but the baby's cries seep down under my skin until I can't ignore them anymore. They're cutting me and every cry that I ignore cuts me more. I get up to find the baby and stop its crying. _

_Where are you, baby? I want to ask… but still my voice hasn't come to me. The baby keeps crying, and it sounds like it's in pain. My heart aches. I can't let the poor baby suffer. I have to find it… to comfort it. I dash wildly trying to find this baby so that I can help it. I find a door and I can hear the baby crying just on the other side. I open the door and the baby is all alone in a big dark room… wrapped up on the floor. I rush to it and scoop it up in my arms. It's still crying… its eyes shut tight and its face red. I'm sure it's a baby boy. _

_I start to rock him back and forth and I kiss his forehead. The baby opens his eyes and they are bright green… just like… I look around the room and there is a mirror and I see… not Alice… it's Edward holding the baby. I gasp and the baby giggles. The sound is so innocent and endearing. I turn my attention back to the baby._

_"Why are you alone?" I ask… my voice has returned. The baby sniffles a bit and he squirms so that I can bring him closer. I hold him closer to my body and he starts to whimper a bit. _

_"There, there. Edward's got you. I'm not going to let you cry. I've got you. It's okay now." The baby coos and I pull him away so I can see his face. He smiles at me. I smile back. _

_"Mama." He says and points to something behind me. I look to see a picture of Esme appear. _

_"That's not Mama. That's Esme."_

_"Mama!" The baby insists. "Dada!" And then a picture of Carlisle appears too._

_"But that's Carlisle." The baby pouts at me. "Okay, okay," I soothe, "Mama and Dada." The baby giggles. Then, two ghostly figures appear and the baby smiles at them._

_"Bye bye!" The ghosts hover over us, not noticing me and give the baby ghostly kisses and disappear. _

_"Who were they?"_

_"Bye bye," The baby replies. I continue to rock the baby and talk to him. He yawns._

_"Are you sleepy? Want me to sing to you?" The baby claps his hand and giggles. "Okay then." I start to hum a song that I'm not sure I've heard before. The baby yawns and I hug him. Then I feel his little hands touch my chest. I look down at him and his little green eyes sparkle at me. _

_"Thank you." He whispers, and his eyes close. _

I woke up feeling very peaceful… though I did have to check a few times to make sure the right person was in my reflection. Hmmm…. I looked over to my calendar and saw it was June 19th. Well that made sense. I giggled. I couldn't wait until tomorrow.

EPOV

My birthday was coming up and I had to beg Esme and Carlisle to not throw me a party. I knew what I wanted to do for it. All they would need to do was show up… which wouldn't be too hard considering it was at their house and they kinda live there. There were a few things I needed to take care of first… and I needed to be alone. As much as I didn't like it… not even Bella could come with me.

It was time to say some goodbyes. It was time to let some things go… to let some people go. I was going to move on and I was going to do it thoroughly.

It was very early in the morning on June 20th … my birthday, the day my parents died, when I found myself kneeling before my parents' graves. And I was crying. This was going to harder than I thought.

"Mom…Dad…" I said through my tears. "I love you both so much." I felt a sudden warmth wrap around me, and I felt the same warmth under my chin… like a hand making me look up. I looked up and saw my mother kneeling before me… my father was standing next to her. They were smiling at me.

"Happy Birthday, honey." My mother said.

"Happy Birthday, kiddo." My father said. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be celebrating?"

"Edward!" My mother scolded him. "Don't send him away. He has something to tell us." She turned to me. "Don't you, sweetheart?"

"I do. But I… I… I don't want to…" I was choking on my words.

"It's okay, baby." She cooed. "We'll understand." She put her hands on either side of my face. My father put his ghostly hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. They were making this so hard.

"I love you both, and I want to thank you for watching over me… but I feel like that ever since I've found about you I've been holding on to you and not letting you rest. I've been making you worry about me… that I won't be taken care of. I… I… want to let you go. To say goodbye… to let you rest in peace." I looked into my mother's face and thought I saw sadness. "But I'll never forget you!" I blurted out. "I'll never forget either of you. But I can't keep chasing ghosts."

"Is that what's been bothering you?" She asked me tenderly.

"Please don't be mad." I whispered.

"Mad?" He laughed. "Of course not! We do understand son." He knelt down to be level with me. "This is good for you. It's not good for someone alive to keep holding on to those that are dead."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He smiled at me.

"We've stayed behind in this world because we were afraid you might need us too soon. But now I can see that you'll be okay. Thank you, sweetie." She kissed my forehead.

"But don't think we won't be watching for you." He threatened playfully. I laughed and wiped the tears from my eyes. I stood and they pulled me into an embrace. I felt overwhelmed by the love I felt when they touched me. I thought I was being stupid when I went to put my arms around them… they were ghosts… my arms would go right through them. By I wrong when my arms wrapped around something solid. I looked at them and they were still ghosts… but I was touching them. I was hugging them… my parents. And I had to let them go.

"Thank you both so much for everything." I cried as I hugged them. I felt love radiate all around me.

"You don't have to thank us for anything. We've just been watching. It's been you all along." He said. They each kissed my forehead and then pulled away from me.

"Now you have a promise to keep for me. And I will be watching you always." She winked. "We both will."

"We love you son. And we're very proud."

"I love you both. Good bye." They smiled at me and faded away. A small part of me wanted to call them back, to ask them to never leave me. That part wanted to be able to come and see them again… to ask them to always be here when I needed them. But the bigger part of me knew that this is what I needed. I needed to let them go. They knew what I was going to do today and they were proud of me. And they would always be there… and we would meet again, someday.

I wiped my face and stood up from the ground and walked out of the cemetery. I got into the Volvo and looked in the passenger's seat. Everything I needed for today was there. After a few more errands, everyone should be at my house by the time I was done.

Yes… today was my birthday, but someone that needed to go was dying to today.

I pulled into the driveway with my presents in the passenger's seat. I didn't get much… but they were the best gifts I could ever possibly ask for. I knew that everyone was in the house waiting for me. Esme had pleaded and pouted with all day yesterday to let her get me something. And Carlisle had told me he might just do it anyway. I begged them not to. I hoped they hadn't.

It was hard convincing Bella and the others to not get me anything. Especially Alice. She knew I had something up my sleeve. The only ones who didn't give me any trouble were Charlie and Renee. They were thrilled… even though I had only told them about one part of the plan.

I was pleased to see that everyone I wanted was here: that was all I had them to do today… show up. I put my presents into a non- descript 'Thank You' bag before getting out of the car. I walked into the house and was attacked by Esme.

"All right, young man!" She scolded me, struggling to stifle her smile. "I've had enough with your mysterious games! Where have you been and what have you been up to?" She placed both her hands on her hips and tried her hardest to look intimidating. Carlisle chuckled and came up behind her.

"And all the bunnies in the area have just run for cover. You're quite adorable when you're trying to be scary." He pecked her on the cheek. She giggled. "But she's right. The suspense has been eating at us."

"Us too!" Alice chimed. There was a swell of excited murmurs agreeing with her.

"Hey hey…" Jasper stood up. "If we don't calm down… we'll never find out what he's gonna do." I smiled. "I've got your back man."

"Thank you, Jasper." I started in a very business like tone. He laughed and sat back down.

"As you know, today is my birthday. This also marks the 17 year anniversary of the tragic deaths that befell my birth parents."

Bella was starting to say something, but I raised my hand slightly.

"But today is not a day to mourn. They wouldn't like that. I'm here to celebrate my 17th birthday with the important people in my life. So let's start by opening my presents!"

I dumped the bag onto the dining room table and stepped back a bit. The billow of interest was so thick I could probably swim in it if I wanted to. Everyone moved to the table and took seats around it. I looked down at the large manila envelope and at the smaller bag that lay on the table. I sighed happily at the sight of them… knowing my ultimate happiness was right within my reach. I took the manila envelope into my hands and began to address them all again.

"This is present one! I need Esme and Carlisle to come sit by me please." I smiled as they rose with confusion plastered hard into their faces. Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and let a certain memory invade me briefly.

_"For the love of all that's holy, Carlisle! You are not instutionalizing Edward! You'll have to kill me first! Not my baby, Carlisle! Not my son." She let her sobs go. My knees went weak and my body slid to the floor. _

_"Our son, Esme." He embraced her. "He is our son and I want you to know that I'm not going to allow this. I just wanted to you know what the other doctors were saying. They think that he won't get better, but I know he will." Carlisle was crying to._

I came out of the memory feeling warm and happy. I smiled up at Carlisle who still had his hand on my shoulder. I stepped back a bit and inclined my head towards Esme indicating that he should sit next to her. He did.

"I love you two. You know that right?"

"Yes, honey." Esme said honestly as her fingers unconsciously laced with Carlisle's. "We would never doubt that."

"And you two love me?"

"Of course!" Carlisle laughed. "Where have you been?" That made me laugh.

"Okay. I'm glad we've established that. I've loved you two like my real parents ever since I met you. I remember the day I asked Esme if she would be my mommy." I let my mind drift back to a long time ago…

"_How many times have I told you to call me Esme?" She asked me for about the millionth time._

_"A lot a times…" I paused… thinking about what I really wanted to call her, "Can I call you Mommy Esme?" I asked hopefully. She smiled sweetly at me and I saw her eyes sparkle._

_"You know, Edward. I would like that very much. I don't have any babies of my own. But I'm not sure if you're mommy would like that."_

_"I don't think she would care very much. Please can I call you Mommy Esme? I could be your baby!" I threw my little four year old arms around me. She hugged me tightly… my first real hug._

_"Okay, honey. You can call me Mommy Esme."_

_"YAY!" I jumped up and down happily. _

"I remember that." Esme said pulling me out of my head. "It was the cutest thing I had ever seen." She smiled sweetly just like she had on that day so many years ago. I looked at Carlisle.

"And I always called you Daddy Carlisle… secretly in my head at least." He chuckled. I looked down… I was feeling four all over again.

"I want to give you those names back… officially." I said opening the manila envelope and pulling out its contents. I held the paperwork out to them so they could see. I went behind Emmett's back and asked his parents to help me out with this one. They loved the idea. When Carlisle realized what the paperwork was, he snatched it from me and began to read more closely. A small part of me was afraid they would be outraged… angry with me. A small part of me was afraid that they wouldn't want me to…

"Edward…" Carlisle said. I looked at him. "You want us to…" He was staring straight at me with a strange grin on his face and a dazed look in his eyes. Esme was quickly reading over the paperwork, her eyes going wider and wider as she went. Suddenly she threw it all in the air (thank God I had the good sense to have them bound together) and launched herself at me, folding her arms around me.

"Yes!" She cried, her warm tears already splashing against me. "We'll adopt you!" I heard a collective gasp and some squeals come from the others. Carlisle was knocked out his trance and hugged both me and Esme at the same time.

"Of course we will!" He shouted happily, laughing freely.

"Really?" I asked looking at their tear-stained faces.

"Yes!" They said together.

"Oh my God…" Esme said as she caught sight of something on the documents. "Carlisle… look at how he signed!" She pointed to my signature and I felt my face smile.

"You signed with our last name…"

"I want to be your son. For real. I want to carry your name." I looked down again. "If that's all right with you."

"It is my son!" Carlisle said proudly.

"Thanks Dad." I said. My body felt warm and lighter… "And you too, Mom." And then I felt it.

Something came detached from me. And with it went that heavy red haze the always occupied a space in my head. I felt a small part of me fall and die… and then I saw them over Esm… Mom and Dad's shoulders.

My birth parents. My mother blew a kiss at me and my father winked. I felt tears sting a little bit. She was cradling a baby in her arms and I understood who he was immediately. It was me. It was the part of life I couldn't let go. She was holding Edward Masen… who had died today… he would finally get to rest in peace with his family, while I could live in peace with mine. I watched the three of them become a family, and they watched me. I saw a ghostly tear sparkle down her face, as she looked at me. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek to soothe her. She held the baby close to her heart and kissed his forehead. He followed suit.

The baby turned to look at me. He laughed and cooed his thanks to me. _Thank you for letting me go. _He said to me. I smiled at him. He giggled and waved at me. _I love you,_ I mouthed to the three of them, and watched as they faded away… part of me knew I would never see them again. They smiled tenderly at me right before they completely left me for the last time.

I held tighter onto my Mom and Dad now… letting go of the tears I had yet to shed from my former life. They were tears of triumph. I had won. I finally had what had been denied to me for so long. A mother and father who would love me unconditionally and baby me, but would be firm with me… parents who would guide me and take care of me. I finally had a family that no one could take away from me. I pulled away from them when I had no more left to cry.

"Oh Carlisle! We have a child! We have a child!"

"Yes, darling. And a fine one at that." Carl… Dad eyed the other one of my gifts. "Now, Edward," my name had a new resonance when he said it, "What else did you get yourself?" I smiled, anxious to unveil my next gift. But it would have to wait until just a wee bit later.

"Not yet," I said wiping my face. "Can we eat first?" The room erupted in laughter, and I noticed the most of the other's in attendance had been crying too. Bella ran up to me and hugged me tightly.

"This was beautiful, Edward!" She said gleefully. "Now, I hope you won't get mad at me… because I know you didn't want me to get you anything… and I didn't really buy anything… but I made you a big dinner… all of your favorites… I-love-you-please-don't-be-mad?" She asked with a big smile. I laughed.

"Of course not!" Bella and Renee stood up and began to serve us and Bella did truly go all out. There was no rhyme or reason to the courses, to anyone except to me. Bella made everything I had every called my favorite food. Mom and Dad (Damn I loved calling them that!) kept sneaking pecks at each other and looks at me. After Bella's marvelous dinner, Alice gasped and started squealing.

"Edward! Are you really…" she began to ask and Charlie interrupted her.

"I think it's time for the next present, Edward." He said giving me a knowing look.

"Yes sir," I said. "I believe it is." I stood up and went to retrieve my other present. I surreptiously removed the contents from the bag and placed it in my pocket. "Could everyone please come over to living room, please?" I asked. I sat on the loveseat and patted the spot to my right. Bella always sat on my right side. "And Bella, please sit by me." Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. A chuckle shook my body as she came to sit down.

"Okay." She said. "What's the gift?" She was quite impatient. I took her hands in my and looked at her through my eyelashes. She blushed. I loved it when she blushed.

"I love you." I said to her. Her blush deepened.

"I love you too." She whispered.

"You were at my side in my darkest hours and I want you to be there now that those times have passed me. Isabella Marie Swan, death would not be a kind enough end for me if you weren't in my world. I need you like the air I breathe. I hope you know that no one will ever love you like I will. You are the light at the end of my tunnel. You're the voice that I hear at night that tells me tomorrow will be a better day. And I know we're young… but I also know that I cannot live without you. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to bring you breakfast in bed. I want you to nag at me when I do something stupid. I want to love you with everything I have, with everything I ever will be."

I slid down onto one knee. Bella's eyes went wide and her hands flew to her mouth. Alice squealed loudly and Rose screamed, "OH MY GOD!" Renee was clapping lightly and Mom gasped. The men, except for Charlie who knew what was going on, stayed in shocked silence. I continued.

"Be mine, Bella. Be mine, forever. And I'm not asking that we do it soon… but I'm asking that we do it someday. Will you marry me?"

BPOV

I started shaking as he opened the box in his hand. But I paid no attention to the ring he planned to slip on my finger. The joy was immeasurable. Yes… we were young. But I knew I would never find love like the kind Edward and I had for each other anywhere else. I wanted to speak, but a sobby giggle was all that escaped from me. I looked into his eyes, and saw the love shimmering in them. I saw no trace of the fear that use to linger there. It was joy and confidence. I stared happily into Edward Cullen's eyes.

"Yes." I managed to say, nodding wildly. He smiled beautifully and slipped the ring on to finger and my body thawed. I threw myself at him and I heard my mother squeal. "Yes! Yes I'll marry you someday!" I cried and laughed at the same time. Edward's arms wrapped around me.

"FINALLY!" I heard mom scream. Dad chuckled. I heard Esme giggling and clapping… just like Alice and Rosalie were.

"Edward, you suck!" Emmett laughed.

"What did I do?" Edward asked innocently.

"Now when it's mine and Jazz's turn, we'll have to out do you."

"Yeah…" Jasper said sarcastically. "Thanks, man."

Edward pulled away from me a bit, to look into my face. He smiled crookedly at me.

"Anytime, guys." He his cupped my face and I watched as his eyes glazed over a bit. I realized he was going to kiss me in front of everyone. But just as I was about to protest, his lips met mine and nothing else really seemed to matter. I could barely hear Mom and Esme squealing. I was only partly aware of Rose and Alice talking about bridesmaid dresses. Edward was kissing me. My fiancé was kissing me! I was getting married…. Oh My God…

"Oh My God!" I screamed pulling away from him… every nerve ending in my body shouting with glee. "I'm getting married! I'm going to marry you!" I sob/laughed. Edward smiled crookedly at me. His eyes were shiny and shimmering with ultimate joy. I had never seen them so green before. They sparkled… he sparkled with pure elation. I leaned back into him and rested my head on his chest. I looked down at my left hand and saw the ring that rested on its third finger. I recognized the ring… Sarah Elizabeth's ring flashed at me. I sighed happily. "Happy Birthday, Edward."

EPOV

The world was newer and brighter place to me now. I had a family. I would someday have a beautiful wife that I had my whole life to love…. Complete with fabulous in-laws. I had true friends that would be with me… who would make wonderful memories that we could talk about one day when we were all old and gray. I was reborn. Life was good… and it was mine.

Renee and Charlie insisted that Bella spend the night with her fiancé. "Good practice for the future," Renee had said.

We had been laying in my bed in silence for a while, just enjoying being with each other. The happiness was nearly overwhelming… but I loved how right it felt.

"Edward," Bella whispered.

"Yes, love?"

"I almost can't believe it. It's like nothing ever happened…"

"You can believe it. It's over." I kissed her forehead. "It's all about being happy now, and letting me love you."

"I want to be sure this is real." She laughed. "What can I do to be sure?"

"Hold me close, Bella. Hold me close and never let me go. I promise I'll always be right here."

Bella snuggled closer into me and held her tightly. I closed my eyes and began to drift into sleep. And for the first time in my life, I was looking forward to waking up.

**A/N: THE END! Yup this is it! I'm so proud of myself! This is the first full length story I have ever been able to finish... it's my baby! And I am truly sorry for making everyone wait for so long for it. I could tell you all a million reasons why it took so long but it wouldn't make a difference... and I'm sorry for not replying to any reviews. I want you all to know though that your reviews brighten my day! Thank you all so much for being a part of my story and making my dive into fanfiction as a writer so wonderful! You're all awesome! **

**I'm going to post another story soon. Keep an eye out for it.**


	27. Stats and News

**A/N: I want to thank all of the amazing people that read my story, and a special shout out to all my faithful reviewers. Thank you so so much for accepting my first steps as a FanFic author. **

**I wanted to share some of the story stats with you all and also share a piece of news.**

**So on to the story stats:**

**Number of Chapters: 26**

**Number of Words (including author's notes and stuff): 80,341!**

**Number of Reviews: 253... YAY!!!**

**It was favorited 86 times and put on 96 alerts and had 24,483 hits! It was added on 3 C2's!**

**Again.... thanks so so much for welcoming me so warmly.**

**Now onto the news... I'm posting a new story. It's called Crossing Lines and it's a collaborative effort with my good friend _Adria AKA Emmett's BaybyMomma._ Check it out!!! It's going to be super fun!!!**


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